I believe in the "golden rule"......treat others like how you would like to be treated.....I don't consider myself such a "nice" person, but I am fair.......I treat others with respect and kindness and I expect it back.......but there's this lady I work with that's mean to me.....I never did anything to her and I don't know what the hell her problem is but I could tell that she doesn't like me and treats me bad and very disrespectful towards me........I continue to talk normally to her because I'm not like her......in other words.....I'm not a bit_ch.....it's tempting to treat her the same way she treats me just so she can get a taste of her own medicine but I don't really want to do that because things might just get worse.......what do u think? Should I stoop to her level or just let KARMA deal with her?
2007-06-27 09:50:31 · 14 answers · asked by Windy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Dont stoop to her level or you wont like yourself very much. Usually people that are this crabby have had nothing but that kind of treatment their whole lives.They believe its better to bite first than to be bitten.Try being extra nice to her dont let her run over you but be kind if it doesnt work after while ask her if you can talk to her and see what the problem is--also does she treat other people the same as shes been treating you.
2007-06-27 09:56:31 · answer #1 · answered by dove2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's difficult to truly advise from a question on a website -- but just to add a different perspective ... I was going through a terrible divorce, I was hurting badly for my husband had cheated and broken my heart, destroyed our family unit.
I didn't want to share that with everyone I worked with, but during that time my emotions got the better of me and I did lash out at work to some innocent people. I went back later, apologized, etc., and I've got my life back on track now.
It's possible this other person has some major problems of which you are unaware. Just stay calm, be nice because that's who you are, and let the rest just slide off your back.
If she's mean simply to be mean, Karma WILL get her. Just don't get caught up in her karma by being mean to her. It's only work -- you don't have to live with her!! Good luck!
2007-06-27 17:04:32 · answer #2 · answered by leysarob 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is being unprofessional. The best way that you can deal with this is that you should ask her into a meeting room for a chat and tell her how you feel and ask what you have done to offend her. If she can not give you an answer then you ask her to please stop and that is she Doesn't' want to interact with you then fine but when she does interact with you to do it respectfully and politely as you would with her.
If she does have a genuine gripe with you, discuss it with her and resolve it.
If after the meeting things don't get any better you need to go to your HR or personnel department and tell them about it.
If you retaliate you could find yourself in a position where you could be putting your job at risk.
2007-06-27 17:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Windy - I'm sorry that woman is treating you so badly. Sadly, we all see the world through our own eyes and experience. Her meanness towards you may not have anything to do with you. You may remind her of someone in her past.
In any case, just continue to treat her politely when you have to interact with her and forget about her when she's not around. IT'S NOT YOU, so don't take it personally.
"Don't take anything personally" is the Second Agreement in Miguel Ruiz' book "The Four Agreements." Reading this book might help you understand this woman better.
2007-06-27 17:01:54 · answer #4 · answered by dragonsong 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people you just can't win over. I would keep the relationship professional, but if she crosses the line complain to your boss. Don't sweat the small stuff and make her know that you are the better person by laughing off her remarks as silly or stupid. She will probably still get to you, but unless you are stuck in the job something will mostly likely change and you will advance while she does not.
2007-06-27 16:58:39 · answer #5 · answered by Future Citizen of Forvik 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Respect must be ripped from the esophagus of those who do not relinquish it to you willingly. In your case, you're going to have to have it out with this lady before you'll see anything positive. When it comes down to it, make sure it's kept behind closed doors, as making a public spectacle in the office will look even worse.
2007-06-27 17:43:17 · answer #6 · answered by xooxcable 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The world is a cruel and bitter place. No one ever said it was supposed to be nice to you, everything thats cruel and wrong happens every day. There is all too often nothing you can do about it. All you can do is decide what you can do in your power.
Maybe she thinks, maybe even subconsciously that you are under her. Maybe she thinks it is ok to step on her underlings, maybe she thinks you're ugly.
You should show the world that you are stronger then those who do you wrong. Rise above them, even if its only for yourself. In the end, it is for you, if you are fine giving people what they deserve your conscience is the only one you have to suffer.
2007-06-27 18:55:06 · answer #7 · answered by Nie Pij Piotrek 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't stoop to her level! Someday you will be looking back on your life, and you want to be proud of yourself, not disappointed. If you stoop to her level you will never get satisfaction in life. Keep treating her the way you want to be treated, people will have more respect for you, and you will have more respect for yourself!
2007-06-27 17:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to Amazon.com and buy a copy of the book - 'Dealing with people that you can't stand'! This one little book can help you to solve SO many questions involving people that drive you crazy for one reason or another! It's a life saver!!
2007-06-27 16:57:02 · answer #9 · answered by KYGrace 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Let karma deal with her. You do what you know is right. You will feel at peace, others will see that you are behaving like a good person, and that she is acting like a bee. Let it go.
I salute you!
2007-06-27 17:13:36 · answer #10 · answered by batgirl2good 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋