My relationship is on the rocks, I tried to sit him down and talk our isses out and told him that if we couldent do that then I will still be with him I will just get my own place so I can have some space. Well talking our issues out didnt work, he just immeaditly took a list of them and says "I will change everything because i love you" This is the complete opisite of what i want for us. I want him to want to change for himself, not for me. So he ended up smothering me in I love you so much over the weekend that on sunday I told him I was going to stay living with him. Well as soon as i said that he changed back to his old ways and nothing is solved. So when he says " I love you ill do anything to be with you, ill change for you, i Love you, I just want to be with you." Are all of thoes things sincere? or is he just trying to get me to stay?
We are both 21 and have been toghether 8 months
2007-06-27 09:28:35 · 12 answers · asked by KT 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Now I have this great oppertunity to move in with a family out of town closer to my work with free rent in exchange for 8-10 hours of day care or cooking or housework per week..... I think I should take it since I could save up a lot of money what do you think?
2007-06-27 09:29:42 · update #1
Hi KT,
If you want someone to tell you it is going to be healthier for you, to move in with this family member, save expenses, have some freedom from this co-dependent person - I will be happy to tell you so.
Look at this persons' actions. He clearly doesn't have the discipline to change and cement those changes in his life. He waits on you to point these areas out to him, then changes to please you. He is like a thermometer, showing you the temperature you want to see. Then he drops back to 70' when he can see you are pleased.
Think of how much happier you will be in a new environment, closer to work, more cushion in your budget. It sounds like the best thing for you. Fresh air and new surroundings.
I hope you end the relationship, move, and do not accept any calls or pleadings from this extremely dependent person.
Good luck to the new you ~
2007-07-05 04:11:26 · answer #1 · answered by yoak 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmmmmm......that is a tough one. I think the first thing you have to do is ask yourself how much you really care about this guy. If you really want to be with him then I think that you should probably move to give yourselves some space. Also I think that you should sit him down again and tell him everything that you said in your question. I think that he is a really good guy and I hope you can get through this. ttyl!
2007-06-27 16:37:07 · answer #2 · answered by madibelle101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it and run. If he wants to work things out - he will. You'll see his true colors soon enough... at least you will be away from the drama and in a place where people love you and care about you.
2007-06-27 16:33:00 · answer #3 · answered by Challah back Girl... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take the offer and move on if he's not willing to understand why you feel the way you do then he probably just wants you to stay without changing or trying to understand your feelings
2007-06-27 16:35:14 · answer #4 · answered by valley1800 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would go for the move and hopefully the time apart will help .
Good Luck
2007-06-27 16:34:17 · answer #5 · answered by Constance M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my ex..Loves me & is trying to change & etc..but then 1-2 weeks later, same behavior..I'd take that opportunity and run!!
2007-07-05 07:33:22 · answer #6 · answered by Unique Soul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out and get a man that doesnt want to live with you first.
2007-07-05 13:05:35 · answer #7 · answered by M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said you loved him all weekend then you would stay! gee do you think he got what he wanted from you, you gave in to him! What do you think? He thinks that all you need is a little loving and that's all he has to do.
2007-07-05 13:33:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does he need to change for. H gets what he wants and you put up with it. You need to do something.
2007-06-27 16:48:15 · answer #9 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wont change. go to the family and do ure thing.
2007-07-05 11:09:05 · answer #10 · answered by sexylovelet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋