Wierd Question re: curfews of 22 yr olds?

Question

Yes, I mean 22 year old. I was in a controlled environment and realize how wierd it is to have a curfew(which was 1 o clock). The rule was, "if you live in this house, you abide by the rules" or you leave. I was a good girl in school and thought messed up but abided by the "rule".
I ended up being really rebellious and still am on the wild side at 30 and I believe it is due to living in such a strict environment, which included not being able to go to parties, or even work.

What curfew do you impose or had imposed on you as a 16-18 year old (I am not going to ask about curfew for 22 b/c it's ridiculous!)? And how do you parent and how were you parented in regards to the above.

Answer 1

I remember as a Senior in High School, living with my dad, my curfew was 9:00pm...no sh*t! After moving out, and spending 5 years with a crazy boyfriend, (who didn't allow me to ever leave...ever), I moved in with my mom. I quickly learned that she too like to "control" her household, even though I was an adult. I was not allowed to go anywhere, unless it was to go to and from work. I am now 27, and I am feeling what you are feeling...but on the same note, I have children. There is no way I am going to do that to them. I will probably be partying right on the side of them...mainly because I never got the chance.

Answer 2

Well one question at a time. First and foremost I want to strongly strongly agree with your parents " Their house , their rules " that theory is not just with children but with anyone and everyone who comes to your house. I believe my curfew as far as having to be home by a certain time ended when I was 18. However It was requested that no matter the hour that I arrived home that I let my parents know I was home so that they didn't wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if I ever made it home or not. An easy courtesy to give. I parent my children much the same way, my oldest son is 17 and on weekends he is allowed out till 12:00. I put very very few restrictions on where he goes or what he does, he knows right and wrong, he has learned from me that he has to live with the consequences of his actions. If he does something against the rules of the house then he has to accept the punishment. My Uncle actually lived with my parents for a short time after his divorce. I believe he was in his late 40's , and my dad still put the my house my rules law down on him. If not find another place to stay. As far as a 22 year old having a curfew, I believe that was a little extreme, but you did have the option to move out anytime you didn't like it.

Answer 3

I have an 18 year old and 24 year old. I'm pretty lenient with curfews for them I just want to know if they will be home or not so I don't have to worry.

I grew up in a large family and we had to abide by house rules, like you, even after we were adults (you don't like the house rules, move out). We couldn't date until 16, then no more than 3 dates in a row with the same person (no steady) We had to be home on school nights by 10:00 and midnight on Friday/Saturday, unless babysitting or working. Special occasions such as the prom we were allowed a 1:00 curfew.

Answer 4

When I was 16 and it was a school night my curfew was 9pm. If it was the weekend it was 11. After I turned 18 it was 1am unless I called to tell her I was not coming home but then they wanted to know where I was staying and the phone number where I could be reached. Once I turned 20 they kind of layed back but I still had to let them know where I was going and when I would be home. I moved out at 21 and back in again so after i moved back in they didnt care but out of respect i still told my parents when i was leaving, where i was going, who i was with and if that happened to change, i would call them and tell them the new schedule with details. Im 25 years old now and although I couldnt not stand it then...I look back at when i was 16-20 and thank god they did that. I did many things when I was younger and I can guarantee I wouldnt not of grown up the way I did it they had not been so strict. Good luck!!

Answer 5

I lived in that situation, except I did get to work. My parents were the same way. When I was sixteen until I graduated high school my curfew was midnight unless it was a special occation. When I was in college my parents didnt really enforce a curfew after i was eighteen. I still had to abide by the rules but it worked. I plan on parenting simmilar, except in this day and age I would like to have my daughter in by eleven (city wide curfew for 17and under) But I think it depends on how your child is, and what type of personality they have. If in doubt dont let them go out. thats what my parents did.

Answer 6

wow that's interesting I guess my curfew was 12-1am unless i called and told my mom i would be later. the summer after i turned 18 i did whatever i wanted to and my mom never said anything. I went away to college in the fall and returned home the following summer and still didn't have a curfew. My Fiance lived with his mom and grandma until he was 24 and NEVER had a curfew. from the time he could drive he went where he wanted to and stayed out as late as he wanted to. he was home schooled from the time he was 14 though so i think that they weren't worried because it's not like he had to get up in the morning and go to school in the morning.

Answer 7

I also grew up in a strict household w/ the same "you live by my rules" guideline. During junior high, I was carted around by my mom so I never really stayed out late. During highschool, my curfew was around 10pm....I was allowed to stay out til Midnight when it was prom. I was allowed to work in highschool as long as my grades were still good. I think those guidelines were fine but I do remember wanting to stay out later when I was in highschool. My mom used to always say "there's nothing that a LADY needs to be doing out past 11 o'clock." The stress being on LADY - she was very concerned that I grow up to be a lady of honor and integrity who had a good reputation instead of hanging out w/ the "loose" girls.

The only BAD thing I had to endure was being given a curfew when I'd come home from COLLEGE!! I went to college 10 hours away from my parents so I was used to a school year where I made my own rules, stayed out as late as I wanted, and took care of myself. Then, I came home and was treated like a 10 year old - it was infuriating. I still had a curfew of 1 am when I came home from college.

Yes, I think a curfew at age 22 is a big overboard but I understand somewhat the instinct to control someone if they're still living at home at the age of 22. I mean, if you were a real adult, you'd be living on your own and not living off someone else.....so in that regard, I think they had every right to make their own rules.

Answer 8

I think a curfew at that age is silly, but a simple if your not going to be home tonight please let us know would be better.

My parents weren't to strict. I think they did just the right amount, well they could have done a little more spying and checking up on me, but I have learned things from what I did that I can do differently with my daughter.

And I hate to say this, but if your still wild at 30, that's your problem, not your parents. You have been an adult for 12 yrs. and are very capable of making your OWN decisions.

Answer 9

I was always good, never partied, never got into trouble, and didn't have a curfew til I was 18 and my dad decided that he needed to try and be a better parent. Instead of following the curfew, I purposely stayed out later, and never lied about it, until dad finally gave up and realized I was an adult.

Answer 10

As a teenager, I don't think I even had a curfew bc I wasn't allowed to go out! Of course, I, too, had to go a little wild myself after I left home for college at 17. I think that teenagers who are a year or two from becoming adults should get freedom to make decisions (and mistakes) while they're still at home and benefitting from support and supervision from parents.

It is, however, kind of tricky because I think that everyone has to go wild at some point. Is it better that the kid get crazy when they're on their own and under no supervision at all, or is it preferable for them to freak out when they are still underage and could make terrible mistakes that could totally screw up their future? I don't know. My child is 13 months old now, so I guess I still have time to figure it out.