This maybe an age-old question, if a parent is just opposed to the daughter's boyfriend for whatever reason (most commonly that she can do better), how would you talk to her about it.
2007-06-27 08:06:59 · 14 answers · asked by ckaadev 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hello , I don't know how old you are, but I have 60 years of experiences on this earth, and this is what I know. Each and everyone on this earth is on a path of learning. So, Ask yourself what is your intention in talking to your daughter ? Is your intention to uplift your daughter, is your intention to give your daughter inspiring words, is your intention to stand beside your daughter, and support her in any decision she makes for herself. Put yourself in to her shoes , how would you want to be treated. I am assuming that your daughter is a teenager, and teenagers are FICKLE. She could drop this guy in a New York minute. So just relax, do what you enjoy doing, go on about your life and what you enjoy, and this will take care of it's self. Remember teenagers are FICKLE. Relax , this is just a proccess for them to figure out what or who they want to spend their time with. It will all work out, have faith, all is well. ps: Don't think or tell here she could do better, be carefull of the message you are sending. She makes the choice, so when you say these words, "she could do better " you are actually telling here about herself , not about him. She made the choice to be with him, so you are knocking her choice. I wish your peace and love , May you be Happy and Well
2007-06-27 10:17:25 · answer #1 · answered by bonnie f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our oldest daughter has been with the same guy off & on for the past 4 years. (They're "off" right now) He won't keep a job, has two children by two other women (his youngest was conceived last year when he & my daughter were "off" for a whole week), he doesn't pay his bills and runs up hers, steals her rent money & spends it on booze, is verbally abusive, and talks more BS in 15 minutes time than anybody I've ever met in my entire life!! My daughter is intelligent, beautiful, hard working, has pretty much carried him financially the entire time they've been together, and has MUCH better fish in the sea just waiting in line to take the hook! Why she insists on staying with this guy is beyond me - she CAN do and HAS done MUCH better! I have lovingly, but honestly told her so. The really sad part is, she knows it too. So all I can tell you is to sit down with her, talk to her about what she wants out of life, and how she thinks she's actually going to accomplish it if she keeps dating losers who mooch off of her - because that's exactly what I did. There was no anger, she didn't get upset with me because she knows I'll love her no matter who she dates, but she also knows that the only way to change her situation is to start making better choices... Bottom line, it's her life and I can't live it for her.
2007-06-27 15:23:27 · answer #2 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say nothing. Depending on the age of your daughter there is nothing more attractive than a boy who drives your parents crazy. Remember that you raised her and if she thinks he is great than there must be something to like about him. Start small. Maybe you like his shoes. lol. I know it's hard but I am sure you daughter is a good kid and either she will see that he is not right for her or you will have learn to love this boy. Either way take the high road.
2007-06-27 15:14:50 · answer #3 · answered by Susan G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most likely if it is just a boyfriend and a new one at that I would leave it be for the time being (relationships change so quickly when they are young) unless you feel they are getting serious and then you should invite your daughter to go to lunch and over lunch you could say to her that you know she has wonderful feelings for ???? and that he seems like a really nice guy but that you were wondering what his ambitious were for the rest of his life and if she felt that they were in line with hers. Something like that. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-06-27 15:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some times I think it is better to not say anything. I don't like my daughters boy friend at all (he is a jail bird) I kept telling her to dump him. She didn't when she turned 18 she moved in with him. Now I wish I would have just kept my mouth shut. She'll learn just be patient. Hope this helps you. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-06-27 15:27:08 · answer #5 · answered by bluebird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless there is something major wrong with him (jailbird/drug addict) zip your mouth and try to get as close to your daughter as possible so she will feel comfortable in coming to you for advice. They are young and both have to grow, what better way then to grow up and build something together. Most guys need help/support from us gals.
2007-06-27 15:21:29 · answer #6 · answered by lily 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talking to her isn't going to do a bit of good, she's a kid she is going to like him more if you don't like him. You can voice your opinions, but she isn't going to listen. I'm dreading the day my daughter starts dating.
2007-06-27 15:27:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
we all think our kids can do better but if he's a nice kid, treats her well and is respectful, maybe just leave it alone. get to know him a bit more before you make a decision about him.
2007-06-27 15:12:27 · answer #8 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically ya can't. The more you try to talk her out of dating him the more she will fight to date him. Trust me my parents hated my boyfriend and even went as far as to tell me that he couldn't live with me in my home. Finally they let it go and I eventually got sick of his crap and kicked him out.
2007-06-27 15:26:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't, if she can do better, she knows. Shes with him for a reason and if you try to break them up it could only negatively affect your relationship with her. If its not meant to be, they'll break up on their own.
2007-06-27 15:27:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋