In order to keep costs down, my fiancé and I are planning a small wedding with only close friends and close family members. The weddings we have been invited to recently are that of friends we aren't very close to and could almost be classified as acquaintances. Is it tacky to not return the invite? Thanks in advance.
2007-06-27 07:59:15 · 20 answers · asked by Incognito 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i dont think that thats wrong. if they ask you why you didn't invite them just tell them the truth " we didnt have enough money to invite all of you" or something along those lines. hopefully even though they are your friends (not close friends but still) they should understand and drop the subject
2007-06-27 08:03:48 · answer #1 · answered by joker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, it's pretty bad manners to invite people you aren't very close to. A wedding is an intimate affair for your closest friends and family. If you are having a much smaller wedding than some of your peers you do not need to invite them to the reception. It used to be proper to invite casual acquantances to the wedding, but only family and personal friends to the reception! Now, it's more acceptable that whoever gets a wedding invitation also gets a reception card. So, just explain to the acquaintances that yours will be a very small, intimate wedding and you are sorry you can't invite them, but hope to invite them to an open house (or bar-b-q) at your home in the future, if they ask.
2007-06-27 08:20:21 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it'll look bad. They may wonder why they aren't being invited but they'll understand. I'm not being invited to the wedding of a very, very good friend but I understand the reasons why. Sometimes these things happen and people realize what a financial strain weddings can be! Be up front about it with them, though - if my friend had tried to hide the fact that I wasn't invited or whatever, it probably would've hurt my feelings more.
2007-06-27 08:17:21 · answer #3 · answered by tink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not-you are not obligated to "return the invite."
I have attended 50 plus weddings in my life, and then turned around and only invited family and the closest of friends. I didn´t want people attending that are really just acquaintances, and that I haven´t talked with over the past year.
Go for it-have a family and close friend wedding-we did, and loved it!
2007-06-28 04:05:16 · answer #4 · answered by Learning is fun! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone's circumstances are different, and people who you are on a purely acquaintance basis should understand that your circumstances are different from theirs, and you may not be able to invite as many people as you'd like to your wedding.
Don't worry about inviting people who have invited you to their weddings. If by some chance they find out they aren't invited and ask why not, just tell them that you are having a very small wedding and had to pare the invitee list down to bare bones. If you can do this with an expression and tone of voice that conveys regret and distress (probably not hard to do), reasonable people will understand.
If they aren't reasonable people, then don't worry about them.
2007-06-27 08:18:34 · answer #5 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad etiquette at all. Most people understand what weddings costs and that we can't always invite everyone we want to. You can always send your invites out a week early and maybe the responses will start rolling in. If people say no, this leaves you time to invite someone else you didn't previously have room for. That's what I did and the people never knew they weren't on my original guest list.
2007-06-27 08:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by geistswoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's clear you are only inviting a small amount of close friend and family, you are fine. If you are picking and chosing which people or friends are closer to you, then that could offend someone. Say you can only invite one couple. There is Couple A and B and you both have the same relationship w/ each couple. It would be offensive to invite couple A, but not couple B.
2007-06-27 08:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do they know about the wedding? If so it would look bad. If you really don't want to invite them, call then personally and tell them that only family will be at the wedding, but that you would love to get together with them and have dinner with them to make up for it.
2007-06-27 08:04:08 · answer #8 · answered by Summer B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditto. It is perfectly okay to NOT invite them to your wedding, it's not like being given a Christmas present or invited to supper. Lots of people have small weddings (for all kinds of reasons) and the large majority of people will understand.
If they do ask, you might want to say "I'm sorry we didn't. It was a really small wedding with mostly family, but I appreciate that you wanted to share the moment with us."
Don't mention money unless it's absolutely necessary! (and then EXTREMELY carefully)
2007-06-27 08:16:01 · answer #9 · answered by ncangel89 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not sure about exact etiquette, but if all you can afford is a smal wedding with immediate family and friends then that's what you do. If anyone asks why they weren't invited tell them honestly that you could really only manage XX amount of people, and if they get angry then they must not care much about you.
2007-06-27 08:10:42 · answer #10 · answered by EvArtD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it isn't bad etiquette at all. Your wedding is about YOU. There will ALWAYS be someone who is disappointed at the decisions you make, so go ahead and practice letting that water roll off your back. If you concede and invite people you really didn't want to, when you look back on your wedding day, you'll have ill feelings that it wasn't totally what you wanted it to be.
2007-06-27 08:05:11 · answer #11 · answered by tooblessed2doubt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋