My 3 year old is OUTTA CONTROL...HELP???

Question

I am on my last straw and I just want him to go to his Dad's and stay their!!! I live in an apartment on the second floor. My son jumps, runs, and stomps all the time. My downstairs neighbors have complained, that his stomping is waking their newborn up. I have tried EVERYTHING to get him to stop! I have tried Time Outs, Spanking, Grabbing his face and talking to him, Taking away treats, etc. I also have a 11 month old daughter, and I don't want her to be like him at all!

She is already more advanced than him. She is starting to say her A,B,C's. Which my son can't count or say his A,B,C's yet. He refuses to sit and listen to me read to him. He is so disobediant! I just can't handle it anymore. My fiance hates me and yells all the time at us. He can't stand my son and gets furious and screams at him. He (fiance) even spent the night in jail, because he was being to loud.

What can I do???? I think I am already gonna leave my fiance for sure. But what should I do about my son?

I just want to mention I don't play favorites at all. I don't get more time with my daughter at all. My time is CONSUMED with my son. My daughter deserves more attention if anything. If I go to the store or shopping I AWLAYS take just my son. Their is NO favorites.

Also, when I grab my sons face I don't do it hard or rough. I grab his face to look at me while I talk to him.

Also, I do yell in frustration....but I have been told I sound like I am whining at him. Because I am really PLEADING with him to stop. I am not abusive at all.

Also, I already said I was leaving my fiance. It is in the works, I just leave for Cali tomorrow. Then when I come back....I will get my own place.

Answer 1

This child is testing your boundaries. He wants to know who's in charge. Aside from obviously leaving your fiance (like pack as you read this), this child needs some serious guidelines implemented right away.

I would plan out punishments that I knew I could follow through with, and then sit down with him. I would let him know that I loved him and would not be yelling anymore, and that I expected him to . If he broke those rules, will happen. And then follow through!!

It's hard when you've got two, but you also have to keep in mind that he's only 3. He's still a baby - he needs your attention, your affection, and your love - even when he's behaving badly. And he needs excercise - take him outside to run wild every day, so he's not running laps around your house.

He's not a bad kid, he's got bad behavior. Make sure you don't get so upset that you forget the difference. And please please please get that man out of your life. You have to know that his presence is only making your family matters worse. And no one deserves to be treated the way you described.

Answer 2

Ok, -1- a three year old can't tell you when he feels miserable inside so he will act out. He obviously is unhappy and has to find some way of getting the pain out into the open. If he were just running, stomping, etc I would say he's being a normal boy. Sorry, mom. Boys are WAY more active than most little girls. Some of this is normal pent up energy.

However, when you mention you're divorced from his dad (pain number one...why is daddy gone away), and your fiancee hates you, yells all the time at you and gets furious at your son, can you see why the poor child can't calm down?

Question - if your fiancee hates you and yells all the time at you and your son (this is called verbal/mental abuse), why are you still with him and allowing him to mistreat you and your child?

Two - you may have something there for the time being in considering if your son would be better off with his father. Is his father stable and unabusive? Perhaps the boy would calm down in a household that was calmer.

Please, consider moving yourself and your children away from your abusive fiancee. Then talk to your son's pediatrician about how your son's been acting out. Your whole family group (you and kids) may need some solid counseling to help you regroup and create some emotional stability for your kids and yourself.

Answer 3

It sounds like your son and daughter have two very different temperments, and two different learning styles. Just because your son cannot say his alphabet yet is no reason to say your daughter is more advancced. Your son may be slower to verbally articulate his knowledge, but he has proven he is very smart to be able to "push-your-buttons."

Based solely on what I have read here and in your other posts, and my knowledge in child development, I would guess that perhaps a couple of factors are contributing to your son's "out-of-control" behavior:

#1 Your son seems as though he is simply a very active child. In this case you need to make sure that he is given ample time and space to run, jump, and play in a physically active way. I'd suggest going to a park with him, or playing somewhere outside at lest 2 or 3 times a day. All young children need this, but especially children who are more physically active by nature.

#2 I wonder if you may be giving your son a hard time, because others have been giving you a hard time over your son's behavior. Young children are going to run and jump... it's normal. Certainly, you want to teach him to limit these activies to outside, but getting carried away and "forgetting" is easy when you're only 3, 4, or 5 years old. It might be better if you deal more with the adults over-reaction, than get upset with your son for his age-appropriate behavior.

#3 I'd suggest setting a sleep schedule that allows your son to get 11-12 hours of sleep at night and a 1-2 hour nap. Many children who appear hyper-active, are really sleep deprived (this is a researched based finding).

Finally, I personlly think that he may be acting up becuase of all of the turmiol in the home. Specifically, your fiance's abusive behavior toward you and your children. Please, don't be so quick to harshly judge your son. He is going through a rough time, now. He needs your support, and for you to be his advocate.

Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

I have six grown children and I can tell you from experience that a lot of there behavior depends on the food they eat. My kids were not raised on Coke and sugar and when they did have the candy they could not sit still and focus. A three year old cannot be the boss you are. DO NOT allow him to have anything with sugar or red color for two days and I bet you will see a difference and then you can work on getting his attention. He is board and needs to run off all his energy
(sugar) take him where it is ok to run and scream on a regular basis and then when you get home try to explain to him the difference between the two places. You might have to do this a couple times a day. He also wants time with only you and does not understand how to share you. As far as the man goes if he loves you then he should be helping you not leaving you. Good Luck and remember, NO SUGAR AND NOTHING WITH COLORED DYE.

Answer 5

Hate to tell you but it sounds like your son is acting out because the way he is being treated. Sit down and calmly talk to your son. It can be done I have twin 3 year olds and one is a very active boy. Jumping, stomping and running is what three year old boys do. You and your fiance are ruing your sons childhood. Quit being so selfish and allow your son to be a boy. Secondly, I would back hand someone who yelled at my son, fiance or not. Stand up for your son because he's too young to take up for himself. I understand your neighbors complain, but you could explain to them that he's just being a kid. Plus if you set down and tell your son that a baby lives downstairs that he needs to be a little more quiet I guarantee he would understand. Lastly, don't let your son learn that your daughter is your favorite. It is quite apparent in your question. You seem to think that she is better than your son. Kids are smarter than you think and he will catch on. Please don't hurt your son this way.
To sum it up:
Dump the fiance
Let your son be a boy
Talk to him on his level
Don't play favorites

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear that this is going on for you as a single mother. Maybe you should take your son to the doctor to see if he has ADHD or any other type of behavioral problems. A break for you from your son is probably the wisest decision at the time, so having him go to his dads or to a grandparents may be the best for you both right now. He may be feeling a little neglected with his little sister and is acting out at you for your attention. Maybe getting him to play a game, making cookies or helping you cook or color might be helpful

Answer 7

It seems like your son is acting out to get your attention. Do you spend any personal time with him doing things he enjoys? You need to teach him how to be in control and to talk instead of act out. You are his mother. You need to step up and straighten him out. If he needs to see a counselor then send him to one.

If you fiance treats you in a yelling manner what makes you think a 3 year old will not act like the man of the house is. He probably sees him as an example of how he should act.

You need to teach him how to communicate about how he is feeling instead of just acting angry.

Answer 8

Maybe he's acting out because of all the confusion around your house...fiance screaming, neighbors complaining, you praising the 11 month old MORE than him, ect.
During discipline you should never hit out of anger, or "grab" their face either...it seems that maybe there is a pattern of abuse in the ENTIRE home...perhaps you should all 3 go to counseling.

Answer 9

Is your fiance your son's father? If not, why do you allow him to talk to him like that? He probably acts out because he is afraid of him and you. Try staying calm and talking to your son about his bad behavior. If this doesn't work, put him in his room and whoop his behind and don't let him play until he learns how to act.
Good luck

Answer 10

hmmm, appears like my son has a clone!! He has gotten 1000 situations worse on condition that he grew to become 3 - it truly is ridiculous! and he basically eats chicken nuggets, soup, and meat sticks . . . i'm bored to death with the food ingredient too, I even in basic terms ordered a team of cookie cutters to attempt and make food into spaceships and busses and issues to work out if that works! What I even have been doing is in basic terms serving him what I make and if he does not eat it, oh nicely! Then on the top of the evening, I supply him pediasure to make constructive he gets the food he desires. on condition that i began this each week in the past he has began eating bread (garlic, toast, rolls, each style!) and peanut butter, so i'm making a splash progression - slowly :) I even have been doing timeouts for being naughty on a chair interior the path of the room so he won't be able to touch something. The timer starts off as quickly as he stops screaming and freaking out, and he has to take a seat down for 3 minutes. If he tries to stand up or talks the timer starts off over. It sucks using fact a timeout oftentimes takes 10 minutes by ability of the time he settles down, yet i think of whether it truly is executed continuously adequate he will start to get it. while he does cool down, I overlook approximately him too, i do no longer look at him or something. while time is up, i bypass over and say "Hitting is naughty, and you have been in timeout for hitting" I wish there replaced into a normal answer! I even have my 2 year previous nephew by ability of me daily so it truly is loopy over right here! fairly some timeouts and scuffling with. yet another ingredient you should attempt is putting 3 little prizes he could actually % in a jar on the commencing up of the day, while he's naughty take one out. If there is something left interior the jar on the top of the day he can save it. stable success!