Also, what are your feelings on the old "cover your plate" theory? I've never really agreed with it but is it an unwritten rule? Do you really have to double your gift if you bring someone? And, what about if you are in the wedding party? Someone once told me that you aren't expected to give as much because you're spending money on the tux or dress, transportation, hotel rooms etc... I'm not sure if this is true though. Money is not the issue, I'd be comfortable giving $100 per person but more importantly just want to do the right thing. Thanks for your help.
2007-06-27 06:34:22 · 11 answers · asked by beachnj4life 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
in new york it depends on where u are going.
could be from 100 to 200 a person.
but the cheapest is a 100.
good luck
2007-06-27 06:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by Vicky Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am someone who's getting married in 3 months in NYC area, and I hope my answer will be some help to you. It is absolutely the right thing to do to "cover your plate", if you think about it, why not? Other then the dinner cost, the bride and the groom has so many other costs as well, it is definitely fair to return a gift with that amount in mind. Yes, if you bring someone, you should double that as well, because now they are paying for two people's meals. Given it's in NYC area, each person is At least 100, but it ranges from 100 to 200. (you can judge by how fancy the place is, or you can always research prices online!)
When you say "Yes" to being a member of the wedding party, you are actually accept responsibilites that come with being in the wedding party. It is pricey, given there are tux, travel, hotels... but that's why we have to keep all these in mind Before we accept the role. And no, just because of all those expenses, you shouldn't be spend less of the wedding gift either.
Some say wedding isn't a charity event, and it's not! But what's wrong with being a "consideration" person and just help out the couple just a bit?
If money isn't the issue for you, the right thing to do is to give how much you think it is per person for the dinner. When in doubt, use the Golden Rule: Do onto others as you would done onto you.
2007-06-27 07:11:55 · answer #2 · answered by Vesper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe as a guest I should have to "cover my plate." I had a NY wedding and I didn't expect my guest to pay for their plate. Some of my guests gave beyond what the cost of a plate was and some didn't even take it into consideration so I made out both ways.
My husband and I went to a friends wedding in NYC and it was $250/plate. Now, I'm not cheap...but there was NO way I was going to give the bride and groom (who I was just casual friends with) $500. I can see giving that amount to a family member but not a friend who I didn't know that long. If you choose to get married at a hall that costs that much that's your decision, not mine.
2007-06-27 07:24:16 · answer #3 · answered by Jellybean had her little bean 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am getting married next month in the NYC area. I am paying $139 a person for a Friday evening wedding. I don't expect guests to cover their plate at all. As a matter of fact, I'm not expecting anything in the way of gifts...I'm just happy people are attending, so whatever I receive I am happy and grateful for. As a guest though, I do try to cover my plate and I do double it when there are 2 of us being invited. I say though...only give what you can afford to give. A guest shouldn't go into debt when attending a wedding.
2007-06-27 08:29:06 · answer #4 · answered by MelB 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when i go to a wedding with a date, i usually give a money gift equal to $300 which is basically just covering the cost of my and my date's plates.
if i was invited to the engagement party, i will usually get something off of the registry and at the wedding do the above.
if i was in the wedding party, i would usually give both a gift and the money.. but most couples dont expect you to get the best gift and give a lot of money.. just enough which would be like a $70-$150 gift plus $150 cash/check per plate of food.
usually the marrying couple will not require you to buy, but RENT a tux.. in regards to bridemaids dresses, my ex, who was in our mutual friends wedding, did buy her own dress, but then the bride got all the bridesmaids back with a full weekend spa treatment package.. just about equal if not more to the gown she bought.
and as for transportation and hotel rooms.. thats so trivial.. you dont really have to go or stay the night.. if you do attend and stay the night, thats on you.. dont be cheap or petty.. the minimum cost of a wedding is more than $50,000 (for 200 people).. outta pocket.. its probably about $25k - $30k just for food .. not including flowers, priests, reception center, drinks, limos, presents, videographers, photographers, materials, etc..
2007-06-27 07:00:18 · answer #5 · answered by d.adv0cate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
$100 per plate. If you bring someone, you should give at least $175 to $200. If you feel it is too much of an expense, send back the response card saying that you "will not attend" and enclose a check for $75 to $100.
2007-06-27 12:40:04 · answer #6 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You give as much or as little as you want to.
You never have to "cover your plate". Think about it - how are you going to know how much your plate actually was? Asking the bridal party is tacky, and any bridal party that's advertising the cost is being rather tacky as well. So don't worry about it.
Select a gift that's in your budget that comes from the heart, and that you truly think the couple will like. That's the only rule anyone should go by.
2007-06-27 06:40:26 · answer #7 · answered by *huge sigh* 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The rule about 'cover your plate' is pretty ancient now, I think. How do you know how much they paid for your meal? I certainly wouldn't want to ask! Depending on my finances and who's getting married, I tend to spend about $35-75, but mostly about $50.
I was MOH once and bought them a bbq. I suppose that the rule of thumb is that after spending so much on the dress, shower, etc etc, you don't have to spend as much on a gift. But where I was living at the time, it was more common that the MOH and bestman spent more money on the gift. I think that's your choice, though.
2007-06-27 06:46:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you give what you would want others to give if the situation was reverse. I try to cover my plate, if the wedding is what I would consider reasonable. Everyone's reasonable is different.
$100 a person is probably a little more than most would give, but is about what I would give. To me this is a reasonable amount.
2007-06-27 10:02:39 · answer #9 · answered by no_frills 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good rule $100.00 per person. Covers the plate.
2007-06-27 06:48:55 · answer #10 · answered by whymewhynow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋