I was asked a couple months ago to be the MOH in my fiance's brothers wedding. The wedding party was going to be small just me as MOH & her 9year old daughter as a junior bridesmaid. My fiance (the groom's brother) as the best man & the bride's brother as a groomsman! Well I was talking to the bride-to-be a few days ago and she told me that David (her fiance (the groom)) and his parents invited another girl to be a bridesmaid... they did it withOUT talking to Danielle (the bride) and she is so mad!! that they would do that she doesn't even like the girl that they asked to be a bridesmaid (she is friends with the groom's parents and the bride hardly knows her!) and she is aHUGE DRUNK!! and is so loud... the groom's two sisters even hate this girl! how can I help the bride-to-be ditch this other bridesmaid! she DOESN"T want this girl in the wedding party AT ALL but she also doesn't want to look like a B ITCH! How can I help her out of this?? or how can she get herself out of this mess?
2007-06-27 06:24:47 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
this girl is already making it hard for the bride... Danielle (the bride) wanted to have red as her colour BUT this new bridesmaid told her nobody looks good in red and red isn't a summer colour. (the wedding is next july)... It's not fair that the bride has to have someone in her wedding party that she can't stand!! I can't even believe they would do that!!?? the bride is kinda a pushover and they are taking advantage of this!! I am the MOH and I am also marrying into this family but they know better with me I am NOT a push over!! how can I help her?? I am her MOH I want to help her out of this!! she deserves the PERFECT day!! HELP!!!
2007-06-27 06:28:51 · update #1
There is no way to do this gracefully - but I agree, it should be done.
Danielle needs to speak with David - and tell him how hurt she is that he made these plans without talking to her first - and that if this is how she's going to be treated on other decisions, she will NOT marry him. (My advice - don't marry this clod). AND - David - not Danielle MUST disinvite this woman. Period.
Leave the parents out of this for now.
Then - DAVID - in Danielle's presence - must personally face the lush and disinvite her to be the bridesmaid. AND he must do so in such a manner as to take the full responsibility himself - HE made the mistake. HE is disinviting her. HE is the bad guy - 100%. Danielle is an innocent victim and it is DAVID who should bear all blame.
Anything less than that and Danielle should tell this uncaring clod and his bullying family to go live on the dark side of the moon.
My advice - call off the wedding - she will be miserable with this man. Love has nothing to do with it - but her self esteem and self-worth do have a lot to do with it. She's worth more than this clod.
After reading your later additions - here's a perfect chance to get rid of Lush. Tell her that if she doesn't have to be a bridesmaid if she doesn't want to follow Danielle's wishes. It's Danielle's day and Lush has absolutely no right to tell the bride what to wear, what colors are appropriate or anything else. One more such comment, remark, even a side glance - ever ever ever - and she will no longer be considered a part of the bridal party - and is in serious jeopardy of being disinvited to the wedding at all.
I still standby Danielle not marrying this clod - your fiance's brother status notwithstanding.
2007-06-27 06:34:00 · answer #1 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
The bride needs to stand up for herself and tell her fiance (!!!he should know better!!!) and his family that she is not okay with this. If the girl can't be removed from the wedding party at this point then Danielle needs to make it clear the girl has no say in the decisions; you can help your friend by reinforcing this point if the bridesmaid complains or makes any comments to you. Hopefully she will either get the hint and shape up or remove herself from the party. Your friend may also want to consider switching this girl to doing a reading if possible.
2007-06-27 06:37:30 · answer #2 · answered by Meems 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best the bride can do is to talk to this girl and explain that the wedding's already planned out, and that it's going to be really small. Have her explain that the groom's parents asked without consulting her first, and that she's terribly sorry, but all plans have already been made. The girl is going to be a bit slighted, but she'll get over it. If the bride says it politely enough, it ought to be fine, and she won't look like a b*tch.
Tell her she needs to not let her FILs get away with this. Speaking from personal experience, if she allows this, her FILs will think they can run all over her in the future and do whatever they want. Letting them get away with this is a very bad idea.
2007-06-27 06:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by *huge sigh* 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That does really stink. I think she just has to politely tell her that her inlaws asked her without her approval and they really just want to keep it small and in the family. Everyone else in the wedding is all related. Plus tell her that you want to have an even amount of groomsmen and bridesmaids and if they have her then they would have to find another groomsmen and they don't know of another guy that they would want. Make sure she tells this girl that she is really sorry and doesn't want to hurt her feelings and hopes that she will still come to the wedding. Hopefully your friend doesn't have an open bar, since this girl is a huge drunk. Good Luck and rememeber to tell her friend this is her special day, she should have it perfect, even if that means she has to be a b***h by telling her no.
2007-06-27 06:36:53 · answer #4 · answered by tiffany c 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just have David tell his parents that each has two bridesmaids and groomsman and she is the odd girl out. In all honesty the bride needs to tell the groom to fix it. They should have talked first.
2007-06-27 07:15:11 · answer #5 · answered by tpurtygrl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She can strongly suggest that the girl act as a groomswoman. Have her stand on the groom's side.
Bride's attendants no longer have to be all female, and groom's attendants no longer have to be all male.
If the groom wanted her as an attendant, he can keep her on his side . . . and be responsible for her!
There is a magazine you can look at for photos:
People Extra, the July 2007 issue.
On pages 74 and 75, there are examples of what I am talking about.
2007-06-27 06:32:55 · answer #6 · answered by Suz123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd be pissed at the GROOM for even asking someone without talking to his BRIDE about it first!
The bride needs to have a serious talk with the groom, and have him UNinvite her, as the bride does NOT want her in the party at ALL!
2007-06-27 06:46:57 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!!! HOW RUDE!!! Well since the grooms sisters don't even like her she should have them speak to his parents about that while she a round so that she doesn't look like a ***** and tell his parents that shes a drunk and loud and obnoxious... You could even have the sisters tell their parents that they shouldn't of done that and that shes trying to take over the wedding and make it hers by insulting the brides decisions
2007-06-27 06:35:58 · answer #8 · answered by tati 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Can she just go up to her fiances mom and tell her that she only wants a MOH and no other attendants. It is her wedding and no one else likes this bridesmaid. If she gets mad so be it. No one else likes that bridesmaid anyway.
2007-06-27 17:56:06 · answer #9 · answered by TJ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that if it's your wedding, you're allowed to be a b,itch. If no one wants this girl there, besides the parents, say so. Just be honest with the parents and the girl, pull them aside to have a private conversation as to not embarass her/them.
Don't let anyone ruin the bride's day, and don't let the bride let anyone ruin her day.
If worse comes to worse, be a total b,itch about it and go all Tonya Harding on her a,ss.
2007-06-27 06:31:02 · answer #10 · answered by quiet_hands 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋