Should we take response ability for our own anger, or blame others for making us angry?

Question

How much of our anger is justified, necessary?

I asked this late last night, got some fantastic answers, and then I hit 'delete' question by mistake when I tried to add details. Darn! Please try again?

Gaz, Thank you for such a heartfelt answer! We think alike! So sorry I deleted by mistake!

Answer 1

We are responsible for how we FEEL and ACT.

Anger symbolizes to me, my own lack of understanding of a certain situation or condition. That I still have a trigger somewhere that needs to be addressed.

The fact that someone can pull the trigger is of really no bearing on why I am angry. So, yes; I completely own it.

Getting to the point of being able to see all sides of the coin without ripping it to shreds with emoting response is really practice, practice, practice. If you are getting angry over the same thing time and time again, you haven't even begun doing the work.

Especially, if your indulging in it for the sake of it's own unique brand of liberation. I mean, it does feel good to let off steam for a minute before you crash like a three-day-sugar-binge hangover. Leaving in your wake, the clean-up.

Pretty soon, your just used to the mess that anger creates. If we stay in the lower thresholds of our triggers without working through them, and we are constantly indulging. You simply become intolerant, oversensitive, dictatorial, all those fun things, and life looks pretty chaotic.

Toughening your hide, and not being angry stops the triggers from happening. So, is anger viable? Only if you use it to CHANGE on personal levels.

Answer 2

Anger is not necessarily wrong.

If you are angered over some mere inconvenience or because you did not get what you want, that would be a sign of immaturity and selfishness.

But anger is absolutely appropriate as a response to a positive injustice - in fact, it would be a moral defect *not* to get angry under such a circumstance, for it would indicate that you do not care about the issues of right and wrong (which is a malignancy so common today, as for so many people, there is no fundamental love for justice, but merely a love for what pleases them personally and nothing else).





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Answer 3

response ability? Is that a pokemon attack?

Pikachu, use your response ability!

I kid, I kid.

Anger can be justified for many different reasons. If someone makes fun of you, it's okay to get a little upset. If someone punches you for no reason, you might get a little angry. But hey, turn the other cheek, right? If you see some sadistic freak kill your best friend, however, all out rage is perfectly fine.

It's good to be good, but when push comes to shove, let the beast out. If you try not to be upset all the time, it will build up until you eventually get so angry that you don't know what to do.

I think God just got angry with me, actually. The sun is out and there is a ton of thunder. Oh dear. Maybe I should believe, haha...

Answer 4

I think we should take responsibility for our anger because we choose to be angry! Even though a person might intentionally try to anger us, it's still our choice to let what they do and/or say bother us or not. Furthermore, I don't think anger is justified or necessary. when you're angry, ask yourself why you're angry and then ask is that really worth putting energy into and also ask what will I accomplish while being angry that I would not better accomplish without all that hostility toward the other person? most of the time you'll get a no it's not worth it and being hostile toward the other person won't prevent them from trying to anger you again. whereas if you're not angry they will see no reason to try it again because they can't get under your skin.

Answer 5

You didn't put this in Politics or Managers sections, so blaming others can't be right.

Mistakes will happen.
Will the person who made the mistake, admit to it, ask for forgiveness, try to correct the problem and promise not to do it again?
... or just hide from you since your aggressive emotions drive people away and make them fear you?

You are allowed to blame others .. if the others are in control of you or your emotions. Whenever you decide to live your own life, feel free to take responsibility your self ... LOL

Answer 6

i just learned about that one recently. there are two kinds of anger; unrighteous and righteous anger. there is justifiable anger found throughout the bible, but if you really look into the bible you will find that the anger in Old Testament which was before Jesus is different from New Testament which was after. what i have found i believe for us is that all anger is to be forgiven so that you can move on in life, whether it is because of someone else or not. Jesus said it is easy to forgive your friends, but can you do it with your enemies? they are the ones who will tell you how much work you still have on the inside with your anger

Answer 7

Anger arises out of our conditioning, expectations, belief system...well, all of our programming (from an early age).

When we become more 'conscious', we feel anger arising and get better at allowing 'space' around it. We see it for what it is...reacting, mechanically, much like a trained animal e.g., "stimulus/response". The bell rings and we jump into action.

We have more peace and create more peace when we can bring consciousness to a situation...hesitate, just enough, to follow a higher sense of good.

This takes really wanting to change our behavior...(not just lip service) It takes Work.

Answer 8

You are responsible for your own weakness and Anger normally is not from God, it is your own emotion so you need to take responsiblity for yourself.
Moses in the Bible did not enter into the promise land because he got angry toward the people of God, and this anger cause him to not do as he was told by God to speak to the Rock, and instead he hit the Rock in anger to make water come forth from it;
As a child I was a trouble maker and knew how to make people feel these emotions so I realize I am stronger than most people so I will not allow others to change how I feel. Anger is a weakness and one of the first steps to insanity and many people do not realize that fact.

Answer 9

Hmm good question, I think it belongs in psychology rather than R&S, though. But, it all depends on the circumstances. I know that if some terrible person did something bad to my son I would be horribly enraged, and feel I had every right to be so. But, in everyday life people often offend someone else without having meant to, due to their religion, race, age, etc... And, in those cases, the person who was offended should not over-react and become more offensive than the one who offended him. I guess it's relative, not black and white really.

Answer 10

We should take responsibility for our own anger. Other people cannot control how we react or feel. We control how we react and feel. We can allow something to anger us, or we can let it go. Anger is a choice. When we get angry, we hurt ourselves more than anyone else.