Since my bf started working, he has been going drinking with his colleagues almost every night after work. In his opinion, he claims that it helps him to de-stress after a hard day of work. On the other hand, we've been together for close to 3 months and yet we have never been out on a proper date before. I don't understand why is he not putting in effort to make the relationship progress, and prefers to go drinking instead. It doesn't even work when I tried to tell him that there are other ways to relax. It makes me so confused because I don't even know if i should consider myself to be his gf.
2007-06-27 04:52:27 · 26 answers · asked by rebelfairy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know he still loves his ex-gf. I feel hurt sometimes when I know how much effort he put in, into his previous relationship. I know I have no right to compare with his ex because we have just started, its just upsetting to know that.
2007-06-27 06:11:12 · update #1
we all know that our boyfriends still love their ex's and that is sum thing they shared during their time, if she or he don't make means of keeping in touch behind Ur back, Ur safe. on the other hand it really doesn't help to be bum and just stay at home and hope he will be the same everyday, create adventure at home, rather substitute staying at home by collecting him from work once in a while, suggest a walk or join him for drinks, if it don't work, ask him was sup, then bounce if there's no repairs done. don't be in a relationship that makes you feel worthless. we all go thorough hard times, he might be under stress: new job, new gal friend! think abt it darl? lets give him the benefit of the doubt til you try making things work, be strong and patient.
2007-07-05 00:43:30 · answer #1 · answered by blackbooty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be hurt, knowing how much he put into his last relationship. He's apparently not putting that kind of effort into your relationship. Only 3 months into your relationship and he's already put you on the back burner while he parties with his buddy's in the pub...If this is an everyday thing he's got a bigger problem than he realizes, odds are he can't go a day without a drink. That will be a definite killer to any chance you have of a good relationship. You need to ask yourself if you're willing to be in second place over his buddies and drinking or not. If the answer is no then give him an ultimatum...And, stick with it. --Good Luck!
2007-07-05 02:37:31 · answer #2 · answered by Domino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, there was no dating guidelines set out when you first started seeing each other? You may have not set enough parameters to begin with. Should be a stage of the relationship where parameters get set and you figure out if you can coexist with that person or not.
Other than admitting that to him and engaging in a dialog about how to remedy the relationship and make it rewarding for you both and see where that goes he think this is entirely acceptable and not see where your concerns are coming from.
But, be prepared to hit the road or have him do so if it turns out that he has taken to the male camaraderie which all men need and see you as impeding on his manhood. Tred cautiously on this one and don't do anything rash or while you're angry. Chart your course while you're sober, cold and calculating and not driven by feeling or emotion.
2007-07-05 01:53:06 · answer #3 · answered by Davis Wylde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems to be still hurting & has not fully gotten over his ex. I'm sure that you are a great gf but he does not seem to be emotionally available the way you'd like him to be & is picking up a bad habit with the drinking after work daily. It's wonderful that you try to encourage other behavior but until he is ready to open up & let go, there is not too much you can do..You need to also look out for your feelings. Although his prev. ex was trifling, you need not focus on that b/c it is no reflection off of you & I'm sure you'd love to have him put that energy/effort in to you but by him still being in love with his ex..He can't be the man you need for him to be to you, right now..If you stay, you need to understand that this will be difficult and you can run the risk of being the one very hurt. Good luck!
2007-07-05 00:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by Unique Soul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could go out with him when he gets off of work and go drinking with him. Ask him about you two. Whether or not you guys are committed. Make one day just for you two. When you both have the day off. have a nice lunch and then a movie. Then dinner and head back home for some dessert.. Most guys wont turn that down!
2007-06-27 04:58:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Madam , you are really stretching yourself
with your b/f,
with imagining his ex g/f
with drinking habits of his
One way to solve this is to be bold and ask plainly whether your b/f want to continue with you or not.
In marriage also this type of situations will come when you have to take a stand to assert your rights and go for your likings
If you fear for break up , you will be always a looser and never ever have your share of your rights.
You may end up ruefully with tears
So be bold and stand for your rights
2007-07-05 02:41:45 · answer #6 · answered by krishprud@yahoo.co.in_KISHORLAL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your bf does this now, you can be sure he will do it if you ever marry or if you live together. Plan on having a dull life, waiting for a man that wants to play with his colleagues. De-stress means he is getting boozed up, or whatever - without you of course. Be careful of this guy, he could ruin your life. Get another friend and find one that wants to be with YOU
2007-07-04 16:48:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend don't want a girlfriend right now, he enjoy drinking with his friends, then going out with u. Going on date, probably would be boring for him. If you wait for a guy like that, you will be heartbroken, because of his drinking. Move on and meet someone, who would love to go on dates with their girl. Good Luck
2007-07-04 16:20:21 · answer #8 · answered by dbrh_soto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out at night with your friends .Turn the tables on him. His reaction will tell you what you need to know. Don't make the mistake of sitting at home for him. Don't give him that control.
While out, you may meet someone who wants to take you on a proper date.
2007-07-04 16:19:38 · answer #9 · answered by Morningstar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a lot of men are like this. Men are selfish and usually prefer to hang out with "friends" then their girlfriends". why don't you plan some nights out with your friends and see how he likes it.And if he doesn't care or try to put effort into relationship then i think you should find someone else who wants to be with you and actually cares about your feelings.Good luck
2007-07-05 03:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by lsp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋