I am in a very loving,serious relationship with a wonderful man. I love him and he loves me so much. He makes me very happy but I have a small problem with him. I feel like we only do what he wants to do. Ive realized our interest are very different, but even though i don't like some of the things he does, i participate in them with him and i even enjoy my self. But everytime I mention that i want to do something or I would like to go somewhere it's always NO. He's so good at other things. yesterday he made dinner for me and went n got me a magazine he knew i'd like to read. and he knew i wanted to see mamma mia and JT and he got tick. So why cant he do what i like to do when i want to do them. We only hang out w/ his friends cuz he doesnt like mine. we only hang out at his place cuz he doesnt like mine (cuz we dont have the privacy in my house we have at his). I have to go to him he no longer picks me up. It's really starting to get to me cuz i feel i dont count, like an idiot.
2007-06-27 04:38:43 · 10 answers · asked by leidy101 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Unfortunately, you allowed yourselves to always do 'his' things and now he will only enjoy 'his' things. You didn't put your foot down earlier, but he does seem to care about you from what you explained, but you spoiled him into accepting to do all that he wants to do. If you really want to do want you want to do and you really think that your relationship will weather the change, then you need to put your foot down on what you want to do, where you want to hang out and who you want to hang out with. If he truly, truly loves you as you say, then there shouldn't be any conflict from you letting him know how you truly feel. If you say something about it and don't stick by it, then you will never get what you want.
2007-06-27 04:51:29 · answer #1 · answered by Ghetospydr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds awful controlling to me. As long as its his way everything is cool but if you want something why does he have the right to tell you NO. Relationships are a 50/50 deal a big part of it is compromising with each other..you are holding up your end but he isnt.
You say you love him very much...i would take another look. If he doesnt want to hang out with your friends fine but you still go. Dont alienate yourself from anything or everyone because of him...if he doesnt like it maybe your relationship isnt met to be
2007-06-27 11:44:36 · answer #2 · answered by GA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship is 50-50. From what I have read above he is selfish. He thinks everything should be surrounded around him and what he likes / prefers; which isnt a good thing at all. I think you should let him know about it, sit him down, and lay it out. Tell him out you truly feel about the way things are going. There is no use in sitting around pissed off.. about something you can fix or change.
2007-06-27 11:45:05 · answer #3 · answered by Tru_New Orleanian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be a doormat, bottom line.
If he cares about you, then he should be interested in at least trying to do the things that you like to do. If you don't address this situation now, then you will end up losing yourself being so caught up in his life. And if you should ever break up, you'll look around and not know what happend! I've seen it 100's of times.
Speak up for yourself, if he's worth it he will listen.
Either way, you're worth it!
2007-06-27 11:48:39 · answer #4 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to be concerned about this. He should make an effort to do things you want to do, if he cannot compromise on things now he will not be good husband material. Unless you want to spend a lifetime giving in to do his stuff he needs to be flexible. Tell him calmly and plainly how you feel and see if he can change to accomodate you. Good Luck
2007-06-27 11:44:08 · answer #5 · answered by Maria b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he's doing some of the things you want - like the concerts, and I see why he'd want to stay at his place if you don't have any privacy...I guess the best thing to do is make plans ahead of time to do something you'd like - tell him it's a surprise and to pick you up...if he knows it means alot to you, and he loves you, he should be able to compromise.
2007-06-27 11:46:18 · answer #6 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him. he should pick you up, you already said there is no privacy at your house so dont trip on that, maybe your friends are dumb, or he doesnt like hangin with girls, he sounds caring, but you should both do things you enjoy and go places you both enjoy. talk to him.
2007-06-27 11:44:28 · answer #7 · answered by CATWOMAN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be less selfish and controlling and really care about you and what you like to do. I was the same way to some degree, but matured.
2007-06-27 11:44:24 · answer #8 · answered by ohiostate114 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
loving someone is accepting every single thing about that person. if he does that, he does not love you as much as he claim to or that you love him more than he loves you. he loves you not as much as you love him.so if i were u, i won't wanna be a robot, but if i love him really so much more, i will tolerate though i do not know when the volcano will erupt.
2007-06-27 11:44:19 · answer #9 · answered by needhelp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if he wants to go further with his relationship, he needs to start doing things you want to as well.
2007-06-27 11:44:40 · answer #10 · answered by mnmz4lyf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋