I am a bridesmaid in my good friend's wedding that is coming up in October. The maid of honor asked me to host the bridal shower at my new home. I do not want to do this because the groom's family a good majority (including his mother) have been to jail, have constant problems with the law, and they aren't the classiest people. My husband and I don't socialize with these types of people due to the fact he is in law enforcement and I know my husband will get mad if I ask him.
What is an appropriate way to turn down the maid of honor's request?
2007-06-27 03:50:15 · 10 answers · asked by TinaSmiley 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
The thing is our new home is 5000 square feet we do have the room.
2007-06-27 04:02:22 · update #1
The maid of honor's house is a studio apartment that doesn't fit more than 3 people
2007-06-27 04:04:33 · update #2
It is the duty of the maid of honor to host the shower, NOT the bridesmaids. She is being cheap, and apparently not as good a friend to the bride as the bride thinks she is.
Suggest a meeting or luncheon hall or a small hotel banquet room.
2007-06-27 04:01:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Just say no, you can't, and suggest an alternative site. Also suggest she ask the other bridesmaids for help, as a group.
Part of the duties of the maid of honor is to plan the shower. If she can't honor her obligation then maybe she should reconsider being maid of honor.
It is a time honored, and wrong headed practice to try to dump the party giving on the person with the biggest house. Recent personal experience with this. I hosted 3-4-5 times, it was someone else's turn. And when the need arose to use someone's house for a meeting, everyone tuned and looked at me, I had to remind them that the deal was I could help out while I was on sabbatical, but when it was done, and I went back to work, I could not help out anymore. I meant it. The other big house owner offered, and that is where we went for a pot-luck/party planning meeting. I'm sorry the others do not have as nice of house, or as big, or there is remodeling going on, when you enter into a social obligation, you either take your turn, or find an alternative when it is your turn.
Same thing with your situation. It is an obligation, if you can't, it is the maid of honor's place to find an alternative, and not dump it on the first person she thinks of that has a big house.
I'm so glad I am through that period of my life! LOL!
Sorry for your troubles, hope someone here can give you the right words.
2007-06-27 04:31:21 · answer #2 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you'd like to help host the party and have a good idea for a party at a bar, or a hotel room. Tell the MOH that your husband is very conservative and him being home would probably spoil the party.
Look for a nice but inexpensive venue elsewhere. Think of a good theme - maybe a day of pampering and beauty at the spa and salon, or a naughty girls' night out at strip club, or a barnyard movie marathon. Good luck!
2007-06-27 05:19:54 · answer #3 · answered by Tammy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go to a very quaint little restaurant and split the cost with the Maid of Honor... it'll probably be about 15-20 per person (at least that's close to what I'm paying for my sister's party) You don't need to explain why you don't want to have it at your house... just say "I'd really rather not have it at my house...what about (whatever restaurant/cafe/ you find)?"
2007-06-27 05:39:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
look you can just say that you dont feel like hosting a party at your home because of the mess and the planning. tell her that by the end of the day you will be a mess and that its better to do it somewhere else like a banquet hall or a pavillion because you want to enjoy the shower too. that way you dont have to say that you are afraid that your husband might get mad or that something might happen to your house/ property.
2007-06-27 03:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by cosita 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Say sorry you don't have enough room or you do not want a bunch of people over you do not know.
Offer up other ideas for a place to have a bridal shower.
2007-06-27 03:55:34 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her ur husband is already having a gathering of his own.
I'm telling u... lying is the best way to go. Some people just don't get the hint.
2007-06-27 04:13:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT'S UP TO THE MAID OF HONOR TO HAVE THE SHOWER. JUST TELL HER NO
2007-06-27 03:57:40 · answer #8 · answered by Clueless 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you cannot and find a cheap hall to have the shower (vfw or something like that) and have pot luck.
2007-06-27 04:09:27 · answer #9 · answered by Kabu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since the bride is a "good friend" of yours I suggest that you host the shower, keep it very short and hide the silver!
2007-06-27 03:59:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋