Does it take being a ***** to finally get a man to settle down. Now, I'm not talking about the ***** whose mean, but a woman who is elusive, independent and knows what you wants. She won't settle for less and if he tries to take advantage of her, she knows how to put him in his place.
2007-06-27 03:22:10 · 7 answers · asked by vonparis17 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No. And this is the problem.
Men can tell when a woman is more in love with getting married then with getting married to HIM. A chick wants her day, wants the dress, the party, the status, and wants to define herself by having a husband. It just happens to be that guy who's there when she gets married.
We don't like women who are in a rush to get married for the sake of it. If you love us, and want to get married to US, we're more than happy to oblige. But when it's not about our relationship, and it's about a wedding, we're not going to commit. It's all about self-esteem. Why should I marry her when she doesn't care that it's me. It's SOMEONE, and that satisfies her.
Wrong answer.
When you ask a guy where things are going, you're dooming your relationship. If you put a timeline or an ultimatum on a relationship, he's going to break up with you. Or he'll be unhappy the rest of his life.
No, we're not commitment phobes. We're just looking out for ourselves.
2007-06-27 03:27:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes that man's making up his mind to commit to the relationship he's in. He's got to make up his mind to accept the woman he's with as the woman of his life, and he's got to be the man of his own life- that is, he has to decide, not have his choice forced upon him.
Personally, I'm a commitment freak- I recently re-enlisted with the National Guard, after a seven-year break in service. I'd married while I was in the Army, and after we decided to start having kids, I got out of the service.
But the years crept by, and I still longed to serve, to do my duty with the military. I'd started my military career with the National Guard, and the commitment I feel towards my home state, towards the people of my country, is strong enough for me to have talked it over with my wife and family, and re-enlisted.
Some men may be commitment-phobes. This one is not. But that's just me talking about myself.
For your situation... Perhaps being a bit less elusive as a start- while playing hard-to-get might be a strategy for getting a man, when you're settling down and talking marriage, this ploy doesn't apply anymore.
You can still be strong, independent, and know what you want. When you're settling down with someone, you have to learn how to share those strengths with that other person. You've got to learn how to open up those qualities to that person, and share them with him.
2007-06-27 10:32:28 · answer #2 · answered by Phaedrus89 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've gotten your wires crossed...it takes exactly the opposite type of woman to make a man commit to being monogamous. First off, it's an unnatural state of being in the animal kingdom, so we follow our instincts, not 'societal norm'. Being a betch will just make us want to ride it till the wheels fall off, then drop her when she becomes too demanding or puts us in a place where we feel we can't get out if it's going in the wrong direction! It's not the excitement of the challenge or the idea of 'scaling that impossible mountain' that's appealing to men when it comes to the woman in his life; it's the one who makes us feel the most like the king of his castle and covers his azz when he's down and out that he wants, respects and reveres...contrary to all the stories those man-hating, business-suited refrigerators might spout to each other!
2007-06-27 10:29:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, we're not commitment-phobes by nature. We generally hold out until someone completely compelling comes along, then we devote ourselves to being with her with everything we can muster. She doesn't have to be a shrew(in fact we'd very much prefer that she wasn't one), but she does have a presence that's unmistakable and unlike anyone else we've ever met. Now, exactly where IS our place, and who presumes to put us there?
2007-06-27 10:33:39 · answer #4 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It took my girlfriend a long time to get me to commit to marriage. It's a long commitment and I was always worried that I'd marry someone who would become the typical cold wife you hear about and I'd resent and then be stuck in a nightmare marriage.
She pressured me into getting married, and I consented. Then after 8 years she started to become the cold unfeeling b**** of a wife and now at 12 years I'm in that nightmare marriage with kids. Yay.
2007-06-27 10:29:27 · answer #5 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not all men. Maybe you should raise your standards of what your looking for. Could be the men your choosing are too weak minded for a strong-mined woman.
2007-06-27 10:29:26 · answer #6 · answered by Just Life, Trying To Live It. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow the question is valid but the details are just ....nutzy.
Sure we don't want to be tied down .....after all "she knows how to put him in his place" this is just what a man wants to hear... Ha Ha ...Men are you ready to be whipped? How are you going to put him in his place??? Just curiuos.
2007-06-27 10:33:44 · answer #7 · answered by gassniffer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋