Husband woes?

Question

I have a 2yr old, a 1yr old and another on the way in Sept. I am in danger of going into preterm labor and was told by my Dr. to take it easy. My 2yr old just started daycare. This means I have to get up, feed the kids, make make my husband breakfast, get my daughter dressed and ready to go by 8:00am.Now mind you my husband stays in bed until 7:40 am while I am doing all of this...then has the nerve to ask me to iron his clothes for work. He doesn't understand why I am angry about all of this. how can I make him "get it"? NICELY! He turns into a mute when I start to yell.

Answer 1

I agree with the person who said have the doctor talk to him. Schedule an appt and make him take the time off to go. Men just don't get it. I was in the exact situation... I had hubby go to doctor and when he saw the seriousness of the doctor, then it was 'Oh baby, let me get that for you, let me do that for you, you stay on the couch' by then it was too much and I wanted him to leave me alone!!!

You have two younger ones though, you'll still be busy. But he should AT LEAST be taking care of himself. Do you have family who can also stop by to help with dinners or whatever?

Get your man to the doctors or have the doctor call your hubby.

Good luck and congrats on your baby! If you feel crampy, sit down right away and drink a glass of water and don't get up for at least 30 mintues!

Answer 2

A) Don't yell. Do not get angry-YOU did this. He is a clueless baby-that YOU spoiled.
B) Sit down with him and explain that he has to pick up some slack. Tell him exactly what you need him to do, and start with making his OWN breakfast. Tell him you need his help, you are carrying his child and you are not his maid-although you have been up until today.
C) Tell him what you are willing to do, while he is sleeping, which is nothing. YOU need to be sleeping.unless he wants you to lose your baby. Take him to the doctor visit next time so he can HEAR what the DR has to say.
D)Do not back down
All that said, Do you work full or part-time? If not, then get up and shut up. Iron his shirts during the day, and lay on you backside the rest of the day and wait for your baby to come.
He works full time and lets you sit home and have babies--you need to kiss his butt. It is what most women dream of.
Consider every morning how you can make his life better, easier, and more smoothly run. Consider you could be doing all that, and having to work 40+ hours a week.
Be grateful for what you have.
You think it is a pain,NOW, keep having babies with this guy.
He needs to be thinking how he can make your life better, too.But he's not. You need to work that out NOW!

Answer 3

When you yell, he shuts down. If you want to vent, keep yelling. If you want him to get it, talk to him gently and lovingly. Remind him what the doctor said. Ask him if he can help. Ask him to get the kids going, to make breakfast, and to do his ironing the night beffore. Offer to show him how. Remind him - gently and lovingly - as often as necessary. If he burns the toast o his shirt, DON'T jump in, and don't roll your eyes or give him a hard time. Give him positive reinforcement for his efforts. Say thank you a lot and mean it. Tell him what a wonderful husband he is for helping you, and how much you love him.

Think of this as practice for the arrival of your new baby and the rest of your life. You and your husband both need to learn some new habits. Be patient.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Your hormones are probably going crazy. Just try to make the best in the mornings. If the 2 year old is going to day care, you can rest for a few hours during the day when the little one is napping. Appreciate the fact that your husband is working. Alot of pregnant women have to take care of little ones and go off to work. Besides most men don't get it. Visit a friend on his day off and let him take care of the kids. He'll get it then. He probably doesn't understand why you don't get it. he has to get up and go to work everyday. Work together. Love and appreciate him and your family. This too shall pass

Answer 5

Pregnancy is not a get out of jail free card. Life goes on no matter how swollen your feet are. That said, I still think your husband is a lazy tool and you should neither make him breakfast nor launder his clothes. This is the real world, so I wouldn't expect him to pitch in to get the kids off to daycare, but he can certainly mind his own daily necessities without your help. Let him sleep as late as he wants, just make sure he knows his shirt will still be in a pile where he left it and breakfast might just come in the form of lunch. the only way for him to "get it" is for him to "do it"

Answer 6

i think you should talk to him, that you need help around the house and taking care of your kids.
Because you can be stressful and it lead to bed rest.
I am expecting too.. My husband understand little stuff like help out around the house and know i am not suppose to be stress or lifting anything. He would do all his stuff in the morning and if wanted good breakfast like egg and toast. he would wake me up to cook for him :) if he wanted cereal he would just make him self. See i am not really good iron person my husband would iron his work clothing. sometime when he ran late i would do it.

So i think you should talk to your husband On how you feel. And other things that you keep inside of you before you blow up on him and start crying. Especially you have two other kids to take care of.
He should understand. Explain to him. seat him down.
I hope you not stress
Try to Relax.
Take easy. R you can do this take care of your kids without taking care of your husband breakfast and clothing.

Answer 7

Oh Honey! I was unloading 6 ft by 8ft wooden fence panels at 5 1/2 months, with our first! Men don't get it. They can't! Just try to ease some of the troubles by ironing the clothes YOU pick out for him a day early. If he gets upset then he should have picked them out earlier and ironed them himself. You might consider leaving him at home alone with both kids and make him do all your work along with it. Otherwise talk to your mother in law, she should be able to motivate him in the right direction. Good luck!

Answer 8

you absolutely have to stop -- right now, today -- doing things for your husband such as laundry, cooking, cleaning. He has abso0lutely no clue what you are going through and no clue what you do all day and no clue how hard you work and of course, no clue about what it means to be pregnant. Does your husband know that you are in danger of going into preterm labor? If he doesn't know, he should know and he should be told by the doctor. He needs to be made aware, by you, about what's going on in your pregnancy for at least two reasons -- 1) so he can support you and be there for you and help you in any way he can and certaily in any way that you need him to 2) so he can keep the interest of his unborn child in mind. If he doesn't know this then he needs to be told by you and the doctor. He should be doing everything possible to be sure that your unborn child in given every possible chance to be healthy and right now that means taking extroadinary care of you. That includes being completely willing to take care of the two children and relieve you so you can be free to focus on what you need to do to be healthy. Your husband should be getting up in the morning and feeding the kids and making and eating his own breakfast and getting the kids dressed and taking the older one to day care for you. Then he should be available to help you with the other child as much as you need him to in order to be sure you can take care of yourself appropriately as your doctor has told you to do.
I know about men who space out and clam up or act innocent when theya re yelled at. I yell too much but, sometimes it's all I can do. It sounds like you could really use some martial counseling, just so you can learn how to be heard. It's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or to avoid -- a good marriage counselor (don't bother with someone you don't like) can make a huge difference.
For now, immediately, you need to completely stop taking care of your husband. He is a big boy and can take care of himself and if he can't then he needs to learn how to today.

Answer 9

Have your Dr. talk to him. Have him watch a show on premature babies. Don't yell! Refuse to make him breakfast because you can't handle it all alone right now. Let him iron his own clothes.

If you keep this up you will end up on bed rest or worse and what will happen then.

I took my husband to the doctors with me and they talked for 5 minutes and his whole attitude changed. I still delivered early but not as early as it could have been. Try to avoid a preemie at all costs.

Answer 10

Let me first start by saying that i have a lot of respect for you... you are in a position that is one that demands patience and control. I have sons... 3 of them and their ages are 16,11 and 9. I do remember a time when they were small however...never with the age category as yours and when they were smaller... i felt like I was going to have a melt down. i was a singled parent as well. My theory has and will always remain... that 1. if you have to do it ALL by yourself, then be by yourself. 2. you will only get done to you what you allow people to do. When you have had enough or have no choice but to be placed in the hospital because you have to.... then what will he do? and 3. if he lacks compassion for your pregnancy and what you are dealing with.... this might be a time when you consider not having anymore children....
I pray that you find the Strength and the backbone to not allow your health to be jepordized.