My girlfriend and i have a fantastic relationship and I know she reall loves me. I had an issue with her before about seeing ex bf or guys she has met before. There is one guy she knows who she told me is a friend nothing more. I sneakily found out she is meeting him tonight, and she has told me she wants to stay in tonight as we spent last 5 days togethe, which is fair enough. The reason why she will nto tell me is because she knows that i met get upset if she tells me, even though it is completly innocent. What do I do?? or what do you think? she i go spy on her?
2007-06-27 03:13:54 · 20 answers · asked by Ara B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, its a tricky situation. Coz either she cant win if she tells me or she dont tell me. I found out through her phone. I do think its innocent meeting, but i just dont feel conmfortable with it
2007-06-27 03:34:35 · update #1
yes i know that seems bad. But she never tells me when someone calls her or she starts txt'in someone. I always do, e.g. just say Im just gonna txt my mate dave or watever
2007-06-27 03:47:19 · update #2
OK! wel I kind of told her one of my friends os over in kingston tonight. So I was thinking if I spy. and I see anything untroward happening i will capture on camera. and i coud say my friend saw u and took the pic
2007-06-27 03:54:13 · update #3
jsut so u know before her i was in 2 year relationship, and she cheated on me in a one off kiss with another guy, so my insecurity prob comes from that
2007-06-27 03:58:03 · update #4
The other thing is acutally, she lives with another family (aupair) and the ladies bday is tonight, so she says she will stay for the bday prob and relax tonight. She has not mentiopned going out at all and said I can call her anytime. Coz i know she told the guy that she might be able to come out after dinner but has to be back coz she needs early night, the guy was not sure if he cud and said wud txt her back. So it could be they are not meeting.
2007-06-27 04:01:03 · update #5
At least if I go and she does not go out then I can relax and feel i do trust her with that right?
2007-06-27 04:02:08 · update #6
yes but if i tell her she is going to find out that i checked her phone
2007-06-27 04:06:08 · update #7
Just so you all now. I ended up going there to see if i can spy. But hse never left then later that evening she asked me if i wanted to come over I said yes. I checked her phone and they canneled the meeting saying they may arrnage for next week, which maybe diffuclt as I will be over at hers most of ext week. Thanks for your feedback
2007-06-28 00:56:40 · update #8
Leave her, if she can't be honest with you then theres no point in your relationship
2007-06-27 03:17:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
IF you don't trust her then why are you with her? You are obiously not happy with her meeting male friends and as her boyfriend you are allowed to have a say. I mean i am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend and he don't like me meeting up with male friends or going out with them so i don't as i would'nt like it if he done the same. As i really love him and don't care about any other guys it's not a problem.
Don't spy on her becuse that just truly means that you don't have any trust in her. And im sorry but if you don't have trust in a relationship it will never work. The best thing to do is to sit down and talk to her let her know how you feel because for al you know you could just be paranoid.
Best of luck
2007-06-27 03:38:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You answered your own question. She can't be straight with you because you get irrationally upset over a situation you have even said is innocent.
You aren't keeping the channels of communication open by being jealous. If it's innocent, then what's the problem.
Go and spy on her? Now, that's just paranoia.
How would you feel if you were in her shoes? If she got upset because you were friends with one of your exes? Would you feel comfortable being straight with you or would you feel like you have to pacify in order to keep a scene from happening.
If you've met someone who is grown-up enough to have healthy relationships with their exes, then you need to grow up as well or you are not ready for this kind of maturity.
2007-06-27 03:22:40 · answer #3 · answered by KD 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you obviously don't trust her even though she may be innocent, she probably didn't tell you that she might be meeting an old Friend as she knows it may upset you, she may not even be meeting him!
don't go spying on her, if you can't trust her then call it a day and cut her lose, she deserves better.
you know some women do have male Friends without having a physical relationship with them!
get a grip man!
2007-06-27 04:34:52 · answer #4 · answered by Missfit 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you trust her? Sounds like a no. I believe that a relationship needs to be founded on truth. If you feel she has betrayed you, i think you need to tell her so. Don't run the same old song and dance. If you really want to be with her you also have to except who she is and understand that she needs to have her friends. Male or female shouldn't matter if you truly love and trust her. I believe you have put yourself in a trap and need to re-earn her trust that you trust her to do the right things.
2007-06-27 03:24:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is no love... when trust and truth and honesty aren't present in a relationship. If there is no trust there, and too many 'secrets', something is wrong, because it sounds to me lke she has something to hide. That's bad. And me... I don't think that the love is there. It's not real. She may be just using you, and perhaps others too. A list of others.
If she can't explain herself, or won't, then I say... leave her. Just my suggestion, but f I was you, I would. But... I'm me, and you're you, and only you can decide for yourself. Your life. Good luck.
~ Jon
2007-06-27 03:54:30 · answer #6 · answered by Jonathan Rich 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm shocked at the amount of support/ advice to 'dump her' you;re getting here....Suggests to me there's a HUGE amount of immaturity evident from participants on the forum.... Obviously if you have an 'issue' about her seeing old male friends then she is not going to tell you about any such meetings. While it is not right for her to lie to you, you have brought it on yourself for trying to restrict her from seeing who she wants to see. You say you have a fantastic relationship and you 'know' she really loves you. Does that not earn her a bit of respect and trust from you???? You say you know 'it is completely innocent' so why do you have issues??? If you do not, in fact, have issues (which unless she is cheating on you and sleeping with these men), then let her know it's OK for her to go out... and TRUST her.... that should clear things up....
2007-06-27 03:21:15 · answer #7 · answered by eriverpipe 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
NO dont spy on her if she lied that's her problem and that should show you that she isnt honest and honesty is the key to a relationship
2007-06-27 03:19:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to get a new girlfriend. Why would she meet an ex boyfriend if it's "completely innocent" and not tell you or have you there with her? You shouldn't have to resort to spying on people you're suppose to love and trust. She's a jerk and a player. Drop Kick that skank to the curb. You deserve better.
2007-06-27 03:16:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Yes you should go and see whats going on. She shouldn't be meeting other lads behind your back whether you miht get upset or not. Relationships are all about trust and honesty and shes not being.
2007-06-27 03:20:01 · answer #10 · answered by hannah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
these were my words - you lied to me to be with another man, good bye. I was a good man, I had my faults Im sure, but I wasnt that bad. you lied - I didnt. I hope you have fun and take care of yourself. I hope hes more deserving of you than I.
on close observation you may find some insults in there.
interestingly people listen more to tone of voice than words.
A quote from me to my last GF.
2007-06-27 03:25:49 · answer #11 · answered by Andy C 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋