Is it disrespectful to take pictures of the deceased at a funeral?

Question

My grandmother passed away and I was absolutely appalled when my aunt pulled out her camera and told her kids to pose at the casket. How much more distasteful does it get than that? Am I overreacting or is that appalling to you too?

Answer 1

My condolonces to you and the family of the berieved. Sometimes to take pictures is to remember the person who has passed on. For few people they'd like to remember the person who passed away in the form of picture.

As long as it is okay with the family members, it is okay to take pictures. Some traditions, religions bans the taking of pictures. I understand why it is appaling to you, as I feel one should put a closure to the person who has passed on, instead of holding their picture of their earthly body. Instead they should be focussed on the good things, good feelings they've left in everyone's heart.

If I were you, if it is that disturbing, please talk to your aunt about it. It is better to approach the person of concern first than to talk with other people(then it becomes a Gossip), Let us focus to solve the situation, rather than escalate the situation.

Hope this helps. My prayers for your Grandmother's soul to be in the Kingdom of God and benevolent Spirits. Let everyone in your family be healed and put a closure to the Godly event.

Answer 2

Some people do this, some family's do this, and think it is fine. I think it is macabre, but that is my opinion. And, I remember my Parents and Grandparents funeral's well enough, I did not need a picture.
The person wishing to do this should get permission from the chief mourner, and do this discretely, possibly before of after the visitation, perhaps of the flowers, or a shot of the casket with the flowers behind. And maybe if there are out of town family that could not come, and wanted something like that. To line up the kids and snap a pick, eewwwwww.
I just don't think a funeral with an open casket should be treated as a photo op.
There are exceptions. My Uncle was career military, and was buried at Arlington National Cemetery, with full military honors. The widow not only OK'd the pictures of the cortege and the burial rights, but asked if the family could see she got some of the pics.The family had asked if she wanted the pictures, and could they take them, and that it was alright, first, too. But no one was lining up the kids in front of the casket, and the widow had asked the people at Arlington if it was alright, first. My Mom got a good one of the horse carrying the reversed boots acting frisky. The family went about it quietly, and did not disturb or interfere with the procession.
Those pictures were treasured by my Mom until the day she was too sick to remember them anymore.
My Dad was buried with military honors, too. No one took a picture, or asked to. And I will not forget. I have his flag, that is all I need.
My question to aunty with the kids, will those kids treasure that picture, or squirm and look away everytime they see it. I pick option #2!

Answer 3

For some people, it is appalling. For others, they think it is OK because they want one last picture of Grandma with the family. It is a tough situation. The best thing would have been to ask others if they minded if a picture was taken. But, if they really wanted a picture, and if they thought there would have been an objection, chances are that they would have taken the picture, anyway.

Try not to let it hamper your relations with your aunt, as insensitive as it might have been to you. Funerals are always very hard times and, under such circumstances, sometimes people do not think as clearly as they should, so try to forgive and forget. Otherwise, it might be a source of resentment. Losing your grandmother was hard enough, without having other hard feelings come into play and lingering.

Answer 4

Depends if you're one the closest relatives or not. If you're one of the closest relatives, it is up to *you* and your personal opinion, and the others who were very close. As someone stated, the deceased isn't going to care, and everyone grieves in their own way.

I took pictures of my dad in his casket, not at the funeral but at the funeral home. I wanted to have pictures and remember how he was laying there, and I discussed it with my mom who agreed; since we have a very small family there were no others, we didn't discuss it with friends or take pictures at the public viewing or the funeral itself, only when just my mom & me where there.

If there are more family members, and some do want to take pictures while others think it's tacky, well I guess that's a bit more difficult... maybe she could've been more considerate to take a picture at the funeral home before the actual funeral or something, or discuss her intentions with the rest of the family so it wouldn't have come as such a shock.

Answer 5

Taking pictures at funerals used to be quite common because, obviously, a funeral is a major family happening. Copies of the pictures were mailed to people close to the deceased who couldn't make the trip. However, few people were asked to pose next to the casket.

If you want to take a picture of a dear departed, do so when alone with the deceased, not during the service. And, don't go shoving the pictures in faces of people who don't want to see them. Finally, don't have kids posing with their grandparents. Saying good-bye is hard enough.

Answer 6

That is quite horrible! You're not over-reacting at all...it is my reaction too. If the casket was closed...then maybe it would be alright...still a bit creepy, but if it was open...then yuck! Why would you even want to look back at those types of memories? She could have waited and took a picture of her kids standing next to the head stone or something like that.

Thistle

Answer 7

This is a tough scenario. It is perfectly fine with some groups. But I gotta tell you, it is something that should be approached with respect and dignity - a tough act.

When my 16 year old son died, my father-in-law brought a camera to the funeral home. I don't know whether he took photos or not. I hope not. My wife told him bluntly that if he took photos she did not want to know about them, hear about them, or see them, EVER.

Answer 8

I'm not sure what proper etiquette in this situation is, but my heart tells me it's bizarre. When my mother died, the last thing I would have wanted is a picture of her dead. I myself took pictures at the funeral home, but only of the living.

Answer 9

I have heard people do this, but I think I would try to be a little more quiet about it because some people might be offended. I think it is strange, personally but not completely disrespectful.

Answer 10

You are overreacting this is common practice all over the world