So i like this guy, he likes me. But i just met him last week and we've been on dates. I feel like i know him, but not enough. He asked me if i would want him and me to be a couple but i'm still confused from my last relationship & i have no idea if i'm even dating the guy from my last relationship or not. He treats me like crap though & i'm really over him. I think the new guy would be much better for me. Do you think i should just tell him i'd rather be friends and get to know him for a while until we become a couple until i get things worked out with the other guy ? Or what should i do ? I don't wanna seem like i'm leading him on or anything ya know ?
2007-06-27 02:28:28 · 15 answers · asked by hottie<3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Start the relationship out open-minded, and not convey to him that you may have "issues"
2007-06-27 02:31:24 · answer #1 · answered by proofofignorance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to ask yourself..."are you ready to move on from your other relationship"? If the answer is either "no" or "undecided", then you should NOT start with new relationship until you are ready to move on. No need to make the problem worse, by dragging another innocent person into dramatics of being "the rebound guy". It rarely works out for the new person. Secondly, you shouldn't EVER settle for less when it comes to trying to find a mate. If your partner is not treating the way you want to be treated, then why bother. Chances are they won't change their habits for good; maybe temporarily, buy not for good. Most of us men, are simplistic beings. Pretty much "what you see is what you get". Women tend to think into the situation way more than they need to. So, if your current/ex-boyfriend is treating you like used rubbish, then odds are he is "used" to treating you that way, and will likely continue to do so. There is no such thing as "changing a person into what you'd like them to be". There are some instances where people have done this, and the person changed... but "someone" in that relationship is not completely happy. That's not worth it. You have to find someone that is close to what you are looking for, and work at it from there. Relationship require hard work from both parties. Overall, you have to decide what is BEST for YOU. My opinion is that the new guy may be what is best for you, but just be friends with him until you are emotionally ready for a new relationship. The two statements that are the best advice in dating is "do not try to rush to find love, let love rush to find you".... and ..."No one is PERFECT when being compared to the world's population. You have to find one who is PERFECT FOR YOU". There is a perfect mate for you out there, they just haven't found you yet. Work on improving yourself first (career, finances, self-love, family life, etc.), then all of the love stuff will fall into place. I hope my opion helps you. Good luck! =)
2007-06-27 10:03:49 · answer #2 · answered by The E-man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him like it is. Don't beat around the bush! Just as you said "i'd rather be friends and get to know him for a while until we become a couple until i get things woked out the other guy" That is what you should do if thats how you feel. Never do anything you don't want to do or feel comfortable doing! Its your life...make of it what you will! Its good of you to want to get to know him first...thats a very good thing! As for the other guy, it sounds like things are already worked out! You said you over him... so, what is there to work out? Just take some time and get to know this guy to see if he is someone you'd like to spend more time with! GL
2007-06-27 09:33:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the other guy is treating you like crap, is there really a question of what to do? Everyone deserves happiness and to be treated with respect. And if you are over him..don't give him another thought. Just tell the new guy that you like him but you want to get to know him better.
2007-06-27 09:32:06 · answer #4 · answered by Shellie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you want to be friend's just for awhile just so you can get the issue's between you and the other guy worked out and then once you do , get to know a little about the knew guy and tell him a little about you. It is an exchange. So therefore you two will both know a little about each other, then you can let him know you will go out with him.
2007-06-27 09:34:34 · answer #5 · answered by calltoperservence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to be with the dude that treats u like crap? Do u like the constant thoughts about it?? I doubt it. He'll learn what he HAD when you bounce on him, then you'll see him wondering back slowly but surely. You watch. Go for the new guy and make the other guy off his rocker
2007-06-27 09:32:06 · answer #6 · answered by ShaunC#14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
awww, how cute. i had the same problem. take my advise. tell him you would eventually like to be a couple, but you need a little time to learn about him. DONT tell him about your bf tho, cuz he might think you are still with him and then leave the whole idea of you two. ask him if he will wait for you. trust me...it worked with my boyfriend, and now...we are tight
2007-06-27 09:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by Daisy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly? It doesn't matter if you date him or not. That is your choice. Do what YOU want to do, and otherwise just make sure you are honest about it. You can start dating someone before you get to know them. It is not like you are making a lifetime commitment to him or anything. Do what is right for YOU, and make sure you are upfront and honest about what you decide. You do that, and you'll be fine.
2007-06-27 09:31:58 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you should do is stay by yourself for a while and learn to live without a man. You don't need a man in your life to be happy. actually you need to be happy with yourself before anybody else can make you happy. So take some time off and just read, go shopping and go out but not with another guy.
You need to take care of yourself first.
Good luck
2007-06-27 09:32:50 · answer #9 · answered by johanne 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you should tell the new guy that you just want to be friends with him because you are not readyfor someoen else yet, and if he accpets that then i bet he really likes you and will wait for you. for the other guy, if you dont like him, then you shouldnt be with him. but i think you and the new guy should just be friends until you want to be with him
2007-06-27 09:32:52 · answer #10 · answered by amsker 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋