Can you blame ?

Question

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.



Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."



I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"



So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads
to hear...



"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."



She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"



Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went
to sleep.



The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her.



We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several different very expensive outfits.



She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just
buy them all.



She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said,
"Lets get a pair for each outfit."



We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a
pair of diamond earrings.



Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I
was one wave short of a shipwreck.



I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.



I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,
honey."



She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement.



Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think
this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."



I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."



Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, "WHAT?"



I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."



And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,
I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?"



Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.... but at least
that b***h knows I'm smarter than her.

Answer 1

Oh my goodness!! I am a female and that was really funny!!
Just satisfy both of your needs and everyone will be happy

Answer 2

I'll tell you what, I'm at work and that was much needed laugh, props go out to you my friend. Damn good job, keep up the good work

Answer 3

I read this the last time you posted it too but I still love it!

Answer 4

I read this joke online a couple years ago.
Funny!

Answer 5

Your a glutton for punishment ~~

Answer 6

This is hilarious!
Good joke!!

Answer 7

Hilarious : ) (and I'm female!)