ARIES
You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a **** about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.
TAURUS
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.
GEMINI
Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real ******* weirdo, the type of person who'd kill them self to win a bet.
CANCER
You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.
LEO
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.
VIRGO
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.
LIBRA
You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.
SCORPIO
You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You should become a stunt performer with no helmet.
SAGITTARIUS
You are gorgeous and divine and everybody wants to be like you. However other jealous signs will say that you are the romantic mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless In Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.
CAPRICORN
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered **** and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.
AQUARIUS
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.
PISCES
You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick.
2007-06-26 20:18:02 · 9 answers · asked by goryrory1986 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I dont believe in horoscope
2007-06-30 20:09:51 · answer #1 · answered by Oops 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rude Horoscopes
2016-11-14 23:54:17 · answer #2 · answered by paukner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
Your real horoscope ( rude)?
ARIES
You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a **** about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.
TAURUS
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics....
2015-08-18 02:18:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank God I don't give a $h!t for Horoscopes...I call them 'Horror Scopes' and you just proved I am right! Here's a star!!!
2007-06-26 22:05:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Altar boys are't that bad!
2007-06-26 20:28:19 · answer #5 · answered by jasemay71 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like it. You get a star lol
2007-06-26 20:33:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats some serious bullshit.....im an aries and that shi* is the complete opposite of me.
2007-06-26 21:13:23 · answer #7 · answered by Lora 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it must be accurate as im an aries
2007-06-26 20:32:37 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmao,,,,, wish i could get welfare,,,,, guess i'm to stupid ,,,,, never will amount to anything not weighting abit under 120 lbs...
2007-06-26 20:51:21 · answer #9 · answered by joyfulone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha! yeah pretty good.
2007-06-26 22:18:01 · answer #10 · answered by antipodean22 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋