raped or ......not...?

Question

ok my girlfriend says she was drunk and some guy raped her.....what do you consider rape?..cuz honestly i consider it cheating.....she says she was drunk and she didnt know what was going on ......she says she didnt enjoy it........she wont tell me who it is....i think its a friend of hers.....what should i do?

Answer 1

It was raped !

Answer 2

If she was drunk and did not know what was going on, then yes, it definitely was rape. I can see why she wouldn't want to call the cops... There really is no way to prove whether or not it was rape in this kind of circumstance so punishing the guy would be difficult if not impossible. If she doesn't want to tell you who it is, then you should respect her decision.
It's only cheating if she consented, in which case it's not rape.
So either she cheated and she's lying about being drunk, or she was raped and it's not cheating.
I would say, stick by her side if she's a good lady. She's probably telling the truth. This stuff happens all the time.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, it's very difficult in this situation to tell what the truth is but it's a very sensitive thing to accuse a rape victim of lying. If they ARE telling the truth, then you've just betrayed their trust at a time when they've already been victimized. During this time, they need all the love and support they can get. On the other hand, if she's lying and is just trying to come up w/ an excuse b/c she actually cheated on you, then that's horrible. She should be ashamed b/c there ARE women who are raped every day and her telling a lie like that is unforgiveable.

I'm not sure how you can know if she's telling the truth or not but without proof that she's lying, you have no choice but to believe her and try to support her.

Answer 4

She could be lying about the didn't enjoy it part. But if she got drunk she could have been raped. Or she could have just been drunk and had sex with the guy. And normally she would tell you just because she would want the guy arrested if he did rape her.

And even if she was drunk I have a hard time believing she didn't know what was going on. If a guy is sticking his d i c k in you it's kind of hard not to notice that.

Answer 5

I'm gonna toss in my $.02 and agree with ghost. If some time has passed, and she's taken a shower or 2, any hopes of a solid case against the supposed rapist went down the drain with the shower water. In light of the Duke lacrosse scandal, I think that many prosecutors won't be as susceptible to the "Boo hoo he raped me!" line.

In regards to those who stated "If the person's drunk it's rape." I ask you this: if both parties were drunk, who raped who? The fella can easily say she came on to him and took advantage. Personally, I'd advise against taking your girlfriend at her word, OP. Gather facts, ask questions, seek legal counseling, then move forward.

Answer 6

I'd say if she did nothing to protest, it wasn't rape. It was cheating. Unless she was literally forced to consume the alcohol. Not pressured, forced. As in, someone held her mouth open and poured alcohol down it, or put a gun to her head and told her to drink it. Otherwise, being drunk is no excuse. (How about, don't drink enough to impair your senses/judgement?) Rape is sex without consent.

Added: Honestly, don't listen to the people shouting "Rape!", here. You're not being a prick. If she's being honest, the guy who screwed her is a thoughtless jackass for taking advantage of a drunk woman, but getting drunk in the first place is just plain stupid. It allows that kind of thing to happen. She is by no means without blame in the situation.

Skizzle: It's not like you coming over and taking money from him. It's like him living in a bad neighborhood, getting drunk off his @$$, and passing out with his front door open. Yeah, anyone who steals from his house is immoral, but he brought it on himself. Sounds like this guy didn't exactly force his way in, ya know?

Answer 7

I don't know if it is a national law but in Kansas it is not considered consent if either person is drunk. However, it sounds like it has been a couple of days. I don't think she could have him charged with rape unless there were witnesses that saw her drunk. It is hard to prove after the fact.

Answer 8

Its not cheating as she was drunk and she cant go to the police as that will escalate the matter and bring more shame. This is a very hard time for her so plz b with her and make her happy. Once she sees how much u love her, she will tel u the truth of what really happened.

Answer 9

DID SHE TAKE IT TO THE POLICE????

LOL!!!

If she didn't . . .then she coudln't have "hated" it and it CERTAINLY can't be called "RAPE".

She wont' tell you who it his, probably because she LIKED it and wants to do it again. Either that or she would rather you didn't know, so that he can't tell you how much she really enjoyed it.

Women LOVE to blame MEN for their mistakes. And they will LIE if they have to to make it "believable".

But lemme ask you . . . .

If she was "too drunk to know what was going on" . . . how can she possibly know it was "rape"?

If I were you . . . I wouldn't "consider" it at all.
Show her the door IMMEDIATELY.
Because if you came home and tried to tell
her the same thing, she wouldn't buy it for a second.

;)

Answer 10

being drunk i would say more it was a "willing" thing, unless she has someone who was with her and can say otherwise. plus, if she didn't file a report, than i wouldn't trust her. i think if it was a real rape case, than she would tell you who it was so that the person could go to jail. we don't need people like that on the streets. She's totall y keeping something from you.

Answer 11

rape is any time someone say no and the other person does not stop or when some one don't have the ability to say no and somone takes advantage of that. sorry you have to ask a question like this when ever your dealing with stuff like this it can be hard to get through. rape or aomeone cheating so good luck man follow your heart on it though.