I am moving in a couple of days. And I have barley seen my boyfriend outside of work. Right now I have a lot going on, but I am constantly pushing everything aside so I can make time for him. He keeps making plans with his other friends, completely ignoring the fact that he already made plans with me or that I only have 2 days left to spend with him. Could this be his way of coping with me leaving? Or does he not see a big deal about me moving, and doesn't care that he wont see me for months at a time when I get a chance to visit?
2007-06-26 16:41:09 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He more than likely IS acting this way because you are moving. Men tend to cope much differently than women do. A lot of men don't like to address what's bothering them whereas women want to discuss how they're feeling. By hanging out with his friends he's probably trying to take his mind off the sadness that he's enduring. I would tell him that you're hurt that he's not spending the last couple of days with you. He probably already knows this, but vocalizing your feelings will better convey that you're upset. I pray that you both are able to communicate what's bother each of you and that the outcome is positive. God Bless!
2007-06-26 16:57:09 · answer #1 · answered by Kori spelled backwards is Irok 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a similar problem with my boyfriend. the only solution is to calmly confront him and tell him how you feel. try not to accuse him, but say something along the lines of "I feel unimportant because we aren't spending time together on my last few days. i would really love if you could make some time to see me at least once before i leave. what do you think?" see what he says. try not to say the word "you" in a negative way... such as "i feel like you are ignoring me"... that sounds like you are attacking him. if you want his response to be calm, you have to speak about how YOU feel, not what he is doing wrong. explain that you feel neglected and you want him to share some ideas with you about what you guys can do to make this transition easier. if he gives you a hard time, tell him that this is difficult for you and you just want to communicate with him. stay very calm. it helps if you hold him while you talk to him. play with his hair or something so he knows you aren't angry.
i guarantee he'll come forward with whats bothering him if you are soothing and you put your feelings aside for a minute to hold him. if he attaches to you and gets emotional, then yes... he can't deal with you leaving. if he doesn't care to even be near you... well... then you guys really need to talk.
2007-06-26 23:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by leigh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to him about it, but don't accuse anybody, because your not sure about it. If you can't contact him, explain how you feel on email or phone message. I have a Long Distance relationship for alittle over 1 year, and I made some mistakes, however I corrected my mistakes of getting needy and overprotective and saying hurting words. I never wanted any of those things, but you don't know how you are acting when you feel neglected because your emotions try to control you. We are doing well now, because I promise myself that I would never hurt the people I love for my own selfishness. So be understanding instead of selfish. Nothing comes from negativity, be positive.
2007-06-26 23:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's his way of coping with the betrayal he feels from you. He feels cheated that your moving away, and does not like it. So in his mind you are already gone. Why would he want to waste his time with someone who won't be around? He might as well spend it with his friends, they will still be there 3 days from now.
2007-06-26 23:47:04 · answer #4 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What part of "Yay, she's leaving" don't you get? I hope you're not planning on spending a lot of money coming back to "visit him" and his new girlfriends. Girl, you need to get a clue book.
You come off as overly demanding and controlling anyway. He's probably celebrating the fact that he's finally free of you. He deserves better.
2007-06-26 23:44:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
he might be very sad and is trying to move on by ignoring u. dump him cuz hes not man enuff to see u.
2007-06-26 23:48:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lindsey Loo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its called he is moving on with his life hon
2007-06-26 23:44:45 · answer #7 · answered by shorty28 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋