You kind of have to feel sorry for those poor bastards riding around in 110 degree weather in long pants, shirt and tie.
2007-06-26 16:15:07 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
They never seem to come around to our place, for some reason.
2007-06-26 16:20:24 · update #1
You ask them if they would like to have dinner. Don't serve anything with caffeine.
2007-06-26 16:18:11 · answer #1 · answered by llselva4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If Joseph Smith had the Internet.....
Helen Mar Kimball sits on her bed, computer in her lap.
sweetiepie14 (online)
Suddenly a pop-up message appears on her computer screen: nastyboyJS wants to chat ~ ACCEPT/DENY ~ She accepts.
nastyboyJS: hi. got your address from heber.
sweetiepie14: my dad?? who is this?
nastyboyJS: brother joseph
sweetiepie14: oh! hi!!! wow!
nastyboy14: how RU?
sweetiepie14: ur a nastyboy???
nastyboyJS: j/k - a joke i made up LOL
sweetiepie14: lol
nastyboyJS: R u alone?
sweetiepie14: yes. why?
nastyboyJS: ur sweet
sweetiepie14: LOL
nastyboyJS: and pretty
sweetiepie14: lol
nastyboyJS: when ur dad talks 2 u tonite, listen 2 him
sweetiepie14: what RU talking about?
nastyboyJS: just remember i talk with god, K?
sweetiepie14: k
nastyboyJS: & god tells me what to say
sweetiepie14: k
nastyboyJS: ur perfect
sweetiepie14: ROFL - no
nastyboyJS: i saw you last week in your white dress
sweetiepie14: oh
nastyboyJS: you looked so pure and innocent
sweetiepie14: thx i think ur cute!
nastyboyJS: thats good. real good.
sweetiepie14: gotta help mom - ttyl
nastyboyJS: listen 2 ur dad - a commandment by God
sweetiepie14: k cya
Joseph Smith sits at his computer in a hidden location (for his safety).
fanny4U has signed in
nastyboyJS: hi F
fanny4U: hi lover
nastyboyJS: where RU?
fanny4U: @ ur house w/ Emma
nastyboyJS: WTF!
fanny4U: she asked me 2 help her
nastyboyJS: RU OK?
fanny4U: yes - we R BFF again
nastyboyJS: don't trust Emma!!
fanny4U: why?
nastyboyJS: get outa there now! don't say anything!
fanny4U: K - she's coming - brb
nastyboyJS: GET OUT NOW
fanny4U: xoxo ttfn
fanny4U has signed out
OrsonHide has signed in
ZinaBaby has signed in
elizaRsnow has signed in
OrsonHide: hi Joe
nastyboyJS: Orson! guess what?
OrsonHide: what?
nastyboyJS: ur going to jerusalem!
OrsonHide: WTF? A mission?
nastyboyJS: as revealed to me by god
OrsonHide: but what about Marinda?!
nastyboyJS: ur wife'll be taken care of. TRUST ME.
OrsonHide: i guess if god wills it.....
nastyboyJS: oh he does, he does.
nastyboyJS: Zina! Hi!
ZinaBaby: Hi
nastyboyJS: whatcha doin?
ZinaBaby: chatting w/ Henry
nastyboyJS: U should chat w/ me only
ZinaBaby: but he's my husband
nastyboyJS: about that.....
ZinaBaby: ?
nastyboyJS: I dont WANT plural marriage
ZinaBaby: I know, me neither! lol
nastyboyJS: BUT...
nastyboyJS: an angel came 2 me with flaming sword last nite. if i don't do this i'll lose my position and my life!
ZinaBaby: Wow! RU serious??
nastyboyJS: Lord made known to me UR 2B my celestial wife
ZinaBaby: i'll have to pray about this
nastyboyJS: good idea, then you'll know the truth i speak
ZinaBaby: what will Henry say if god wills it?
nastyboyJS: he follows god 2 - all will be well
ZinaBaby: i better go pray
nastyboyJS: lemme know asap
ZinaBaby: brb (praying)
elizaRsnow: hi babe
nastyboyJS: hi e
elizaRsnow: i wrote you another poem
nastyboyJS: kewl
elizaRsnow: inspired by last nite
nastyboyJS: u rawked my world! lol
elizaRsnow: i may be old, but i've got skilz LOL
nastyboyJS: can't wait to see poem
elizaRsnow: i can't believe emma didn't catch us!
nastyboyJS: we can't let that happen
elizaRsnow: i made ur bed this morning and thought of u
nastyboyJS: thx for helping emma at home
elizaRsnow: if it means i'm closer to u, then its all good
nastyboyJS: gotta run
elizaRsnow: luv u
elizaRsnow has signed out
OrsonHide: RU sure??? jerusalem is so far....
nastyboyJS: god wills it
OrsonHide: Y not Chicago?
nastyboyJS: god wills it
OrsonHide: Marinda is scared
nastyboyJS: i'll personally take care of her
OrsonHide: k...i guess if god wills it...
nastyboyJS: never fear u will be blessed
OrsonHide has signed out
EmmaHS has signed in
HeberC has signed in
HeberC: i talked 2 her like u said
nastyboyJS: and?
HeberC: she didn't want 2 @ 1st
nastyboyJS: did u tell her like i told you 2?
HeberC: yes - salvation 4 all of us if she will
nastyboyJS: and?
HeberC: i told her 2 think on it for 24 hrs
nastyboyJS: lemme know ASAP
HeberC: she's a good girl - she'll say yes
nastyboyJS: i hope so as god wills it
HeberC: i know - and i wanna be saved!
nastyboyJS: it depends
HeberC: gonna go talk 2 her again
nastyboyJS: u do that
HeberC has signed out
EmmaHS: hi babe
nastyboyJS: hi u sexy thang
EmmaHS: u know it!
nastyboyJS: gonna B gone 2nite
EmmaHS: not again! Y?
nastyboyJS: more of lords work
EmmaHS: :(
nastyboyJS: i may B gone 3 nites
EmmaHS: im not 2 happy
nastyboyJS: b strong
EmmaHS: its hard
nastyboyJS: ur my light, my life
EmmaHS: i know
nastyboyJS: god will bless u
EmmaHS: fanny was here
nastyboyJS: oh?
EmmaHS: we R friens again
nastyboyJS: b nice!
EmmaHS: Y should i?
nastyboyJS: i told you 2 thats Y
EmmaHS: u better stay away from her
nastyboyJS: of course lol
EmmaHS: im not lol
nastyboyJS: k i promise 2 stay away
EmmaHS: gotta run
nastyboyJS: luv u - cya in 3 days
EmmaHS: as u should
EmmaHS has signed out
sweetiepie14: u still here?
nastyboyJS: HI!!!
sweetiepie14: my dad told me
nastyboyJS: and?
sweetiepie14: Y do u want me??
nastyboyJS: god wills it
sweetiepie14: will it save my kindred?
nastyboyJS: oh yes - salvation for all
sweetiepie14: im scared
nastyboyJS: god will provide - ur a good daughter of god
sweetiepie14: if it will save my family.....
nastyboyJS: say yes and be saved
sweetiepie14: and my family 2 right?
nastyboyJS: its the only way
sweetiepie14: i guess i will then
nastyboyJS: ur a good girl
nastyboyJS: u will be saved now
nastyboyJS: 2morrow nite we will b sealed 4ever
sweetiepie14: 2morrow nite!
nastyboyJS: god says it has to be 2morrow nite
nastyboyJS: ill take good care of you my sweet
nastyboyJS: i promise u eternal salvation
sweetiepie14: im scared!
nastyboyJS: im a prophet of god - b not afraid
sweetiepie14: k i guess
nastyboyJS: follow the prophet and b saved
sweetiepie14: 4 my family
nastyboyJS: oh 1 more thing
sweetiepie14: ?
nastyboyJS: cant tell Emma - god said 2 keep us a secret
sweetiepie14: y?
nastyboyJS: its gods will u keep it secret 4 my safety
sweetiepie14: if god says so then k
nastyboyJS: i look forward 2 us 2morrow
sweetiepie14: cya
sweetiepie14 has signed out
ZinaBaby: back
nastyboyJS: did u pray?
ZinaBaby: yes
nastyboyJS: and?
ZinaBaby: i was told its true
nastyboyJS: came from god
ZinaBaby: this is hard
nastyboyJS: im not about 2 make that angel mad! r u?
ZinaBaby: but I luv henry
nastyboyJS: me 2 - but god wills it
ZinaBaby: henry knows god wills it
nastyboyJS: R u sure?
ZinaBaby: yes
nastyboyJS: k - i'll be there 2morrow a.m.
ZinaBaby: so soon?!
nastyboyJS: u didn't c that angel
ZinaBaby: k
nastyboyJS: i cant wait 2B sealed 2 u
ZinaBaby: god wills it
nastyboyJS: and im a prophet of god - follow me n b saved
ZinaBaby: k ttyl
nastyboyJS: oh - god said dont tell Emma
ZinaBaby: k i promise cya
ZinaBaby has signed out
Joseph logs out and prepares to depart.
2007-06-30 09:30:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just invite them, and serve whole wheat bread and drinks without caffeine.
The reason they do that sacrificial work in 110 degree weather is they feel sorry for poor atheistic &#@$!S, and want to offer them something better.
That is why I invite athiests to read the Bible code at http://abiblecode.tripod.com
There is a wealth of information and benefits awaiting the redeemed.
Blessings, Balaam
2007-06-26 16:24:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't find any for some reason, then you can go to www.mormon.org. Click on ask a question and then on the link "have missionaries contact me." Then you put in your information and they should call you in a few days.
I was one of those guys in Oklahoma in 100 degree weather and 95% humidity. We were always grateful any chance we got to get off our bikes and in a house.
2007-06-27 08:52:28 · answer #4 · answered by Senator John McClain 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I actually got to be friends with a couple missionaries in my neighborhood. I told them up front my husband and I are both ordained ministers, but it was Christmas Eve afternoon, and really cold, so I invited them in. They are so young, you have to admire their commitment, but I also feel a deep sadness for them. They are so isolated when they are on their mission. They came over a few times and my kids (teens) asked them about what their mission work was like, and other non-religious stuff. I think if you don't feel threatened or insecure in your beliefs you can feel compassion for others.
2007-06-26 16:25:39 · answer #5 · answered by keri gee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just send them a note. Say Mormon missionaries come on over to dinner.
Kisses Betty B.
2007-06-26 16:18:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's a generic number for the church office building:
1-801-240-2190
Ask for the missionary department.
Tell them where you live, and ask for the name of the mission that you live in and for the phone number to the mission office.
Call that office and tell them you'd like to have the missionaries over for dinner.
....although, by your previous questions, I have a feeling you just want to harass them.
2007-06-29 02:59:03 · answer #7 · answered by Ender 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to do this is to just go up and ask them. I was once one of those poor bastards in Vegas. Trust me, offer a missionary food and they won't turn you down. Most of them are very approachable.
2007-06-26 16:18:53 · answer #8 · answered by crazysnk18 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Salt Lake has cut the missionary budget to $4/day, so there is more $$ required from their parents. I feed and water them when they show up. If I didn't have an overtaxed washer and dryer, I'd let them to their laundry too. I don't even try to tell them what I post here since they've got enough stress from trying to sell a message no one needs to hear in the first place.
These guys are teenagers with no theological training.
2007-06-26 16:26:32 · answer #9 · answered by Dances with Poultry 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
All you need to do is be a mormon, request that your name be removed, but don't do it the way that ex-mormon.org says to and they may just happen to show up, or call your local mormon churhc and ask for them to drop by. I can't seem to get rid of mine, I was to nice to tell them I was a mormopn at one time and they got my records from UT, and now they won't leave me alone.
2007-06-27 03:39:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what's the difficult part? they knock on the door, you offer them a drink of cold water and a bit of a rest in your air-conditioned house - then invite them to dinner.
2007-06-26 16:19:04 · answer #11 · answered by chieko 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋