why aren't we in control of who we "love"?

Question

i like someone i don't want to like. why are we not in control of who we have feelings for?!

i just want it to be clear that i am NOT pursuing it - i am married and a mom and would not do anything to compromise that, marriage is holy and sacred and i am just frustrated that i am so attracted to someone else. but i would not act on it!!! i'm just sad that we can not just stop that feeling is all...

Answer 1

Well I wouldn't worry about it till I saw your screen name.
Sounds like you need to focus on the guy you walked that isle with.

Love is weird, sometimes. The heart is unpredictable, but I suggest self-control in these matters. True love is rare, and don't do anything you'll regret.

-B

Answer 2

I completly understand you. I don't know why this happens. Even if you fight with yourself for months to deny those feelings, everything come up that you just can't, we can't control ourselves and that sucks, even if the person one fell for is the greatest person in the world, someone worthly to fall in love with. However; the situation, the confuse time, guessing if the person wants you too but gives no hope... maybe because the person can't, or is just too shy can you feel like driving crazy and make you feel blue. Love is beautiful but it can turn painful and change you.. for good and change your moods too. Try your best to think about other things, try to concentrate in school, job, family, friends, etc... music is a great relief too! Well, good luck and remember that everything happens for a reason.... sometimes the reason can be a little wack, lol. Email me ^_^

Answer 3

It is tough. It has always been that way...since the beginning of time, I think.

Many say that it is 'chemistry'...I guess that means the whole package. We love the way they look, walk, talk, their humor, then there's the physical side...on and on. No one shines in a room like they do. (sigh)

You sound like you are not too happy that this has happened to you. If the feelings aren't returned, it's the worst. It is so perfect when two people feel the same way!

If your love is not returned, give your heart time to heal, and keep looking. There is the perfect match for you...just give yourself some time,

Answer 4

Love is more than just feelings. I think that right now you are infatuated with this new man. Does he seem charming, good looking? You're probably just very attracted to him but I don't think its love. Just concentrate on your marriage and try to make each other happy. You do have control! That infatuation will eventually fade away and your marriage will be stronger :)

Answer 5

God had a plan for us and that includes all our crushes now and the ones in the future. The Big Guy knows what he's doing just have faith in Him and stand by him. Let Him know you accept the plan you have been given and learn from the experience. Just follow the Lord and all will be well.
Praying is the number one communication with God maybe you should ask him what is going to come from this situation. Just have faith, and God Bless.

Answer 6

Do you think Love is feelings? Love is a choice, we have infactuations and they are feelings of excitement and something new... We need to leave well alone when we feel these (particularly married and a mother)... so we can continue to have a great family and work on making it feel new and exciting again with your own husband.

Answer 7

I like someone that I really really DO want to like and I sure wish that we could control who we develop feelings for ..but I am very weak. Obviously I am not the only one

Answer 8

LOL
I am why aren't you.

We absolutely are every one of us is the problem is that we are not in control of who loves us back...

I don't know you but I would bet lots of money that you are young. This is what happens when people get married too young. How is that working out for you?

]-)

..

Answer 9

you are infatuated and you feel you are not in love with your husband because it's not how it used to be and the butterflies arn't there anymore, well sweetie you need to work on your marriage and try to spice it up. you and hubby slipped into a routine and you need to pump it up, get out of the routine. trust me all the feelings you had in the beginning of your marriage will come flowing back.
)0( mystic )0(

Answer 10

you're already married thats why just focus for being a good mother for your children and be a good model mom... just control that feeling or it can destroy you're family