well.. .i just got a new bf. we havent even been going out for a month. i already love him sooo much. he is always makeing me smile, and most of the time i feel pretty good around him.
we are always hanging out, and his little sisteer and brother love me, and i love them too. there seems to be nothing wrong right? well...there i one little thing...his friend and him are always jokeing around about me, and like pretending to "rape " me. and it makes me feel uncomfortable. he, my bf connor is always jokeing around about other girls in his life... i no its a joke, but it worries me.
how am i to know what is the truth, and what is a lie. i know what most of you are going to tell me, but i need something different from "tell him how you feel, if he truly cares he'll listen" i really need something different. thank you so much
♥ me ♥
2007-06-26 14:24:54 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dear connor,
Let me just say while you may like this guy,I would think twice as hard. I am 34 years old and i have been put trough the ringer of life.I have been raped by people who you like said they like to play raped or just their playing,until it really happends.It is nothing about playing.They will make you think as much and as soon as you are off your guard it will happend.Then they will say that you liked it and think nothing of your feelings afterwards..
If it makes you feel uncomfortiable let them know and if they care anything about you they will stop and repect your wishes.If not leave as fast as you can and don't look back.
Call the cops tell someone about.
P.s. please don't think I'm mean but I've been where your at and it all turn out wrong.I send you my best wishes.I hope things workout for the best.May the Godds and Goddess be with you.
Peace and love: Pixiegirl
2007-06-26 14:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by pixiegirl424 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let's see here... I am kind of wondering why he would include his friend in any sexual innuendo with you, his girlfriend, since that seems to be such a private matter between you and him. I would wonder if he were trying to include his friend, and if so, why, and then you might just be wasting your time.
Overall, it seems like there are some fundamental respect issues that if he is going to be dating you he should primarily focus on respecting you which would mean not to do silly things like "raping" you and having his friend "rape" you too! That just does not seem at all right and I would wonder why you would ever allow such a thing and think that you need to elevate your self-esteem by knowing your own worth - and it's a lot more than that sister! If you were my little sister I would probably be really pissed right about now!
When focusing on relationships that you have with people, whether it be as a boyfriend or just simply as a friend, the most fundamental idea of any relationship is that which is formed on trust and respect. If you think of those key words and look at your relationship you might see that something is missing, and then using critical thinking, you would know how to analyze the relationship and take your next move from there.
Don't ever forget that people out there truly care about you and you are worth so much more than some idiot who is going to play around like that and include his friend! You are not a little toy to be passed around from boy to boy! Now - having said that, I think I will call my little sister and make sure she is doing okay!
Good luck!
2007-06-26 21:39:05 · answer #2 · answered by John H. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joking around about rape is not a joke! That is a serious character flaw. True love and respect is something that is gained and earned over time. Your body is sacred. Period!The longer you two are together, the more comfortable he will feel about touching you. He will then begin to feel he has the "right" to touch you however and whenever he wants.
If he really values you as more that something he can"play rape", then he should respect you and stop it immediately! I recommend you get away and stay away from your new bf and find someone else who can make you smile without him or his buddy getting a free feel.
It makes you feel uncomfortable because it is wrong. Go with your feelings and be true to yourself. There are plenty of very respectable fish in the sea.
2007-06-26 21:36:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get too caught up in the relationship in such a short amount of time. This is from experience, it takes time and going through a lot of crap to really know if you love someone or not. His friend does not need to pretend to "rape" you, nor should your boyfriend allow it, because rape is a serious and sad thing, not to be joked about. Joking about other girls and letting you know it's a joke may not be a joke, it all depends on your perspective, but if you're worried you need to sit down and chat about it with him. It'll clear things up and keep worries off your mind, or show who he really is. You just need to talk with him. And as bad as this sounds, if he has any online accounts, such as myspace, keep up on them. If he's flirting with some girl, keep an eye on her, and ask him about her.
If you're really having this many problems this early on in the relationship, consider that he isn't for you, and be happy on your own!
2007-06-26 21:31:02 · answer #4 · answered by pisceschica3589 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What does you "gut" tell you to do? It's not funny to pretend to rape someone. Think about how you would feel if they really did that to you. It wouldn't be so funny then. I don't know if you can truly "love" someone in a months time. You don't really know who they are in that time. You might like the idea of being in "love" with someone, but I don't forsee that being the case here. Do yourself a favor and get out while the getting is good.
2007-06-26 21:43:23 · answer #5 · answered by lanora C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.k I don't even no what to say about the whole "I love him sooooo much" when you haven't even been going out for a month??. that sounds like infatuation to me and not love. I'm assuming your a teen, that probably explains a lot.
Tell him point blank that you don't like him making rape advances towards you nor do you like his friend doing the same, tell him you get scared when he does that, most guys will back off once you say it frightens you, boyz need you to be blunt cos they are not good at reading between the lines. He doesn't know that it upsets yo cos you haven't told him he can't read your mind.
2007-06-26 21:39:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that him talking of rape gives you discomfort which questions you whether you are going to continue loving him or not. And also tell him that it make you feel kinda insecure around him yet you are suppose to be feeling secure wheh he is talking about with his friend making lame jokes. Hope this works because its gonna question him whether he wants you to feel secure around him or not. Take care.
2007-06-28 09:32:04 · answer #7 · answered by The Love Hormone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His jokeing around is not a joke...he is acting out what he is thinking....you need to get rid of him NOW...before he goes past the acting and to the doing stage.....you also need to warn the other girls about him not to be alone with him.....it would be wise to also tell a parent about this as it is serious.
2007-06-26 21:30:00 · answer #8 · answered by pugetsound1973 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plain and simple, if he respected you he would not allow his friend to treat you like that. Move on, if he loves you he will figure out what he did wrong. He should know anyway but regardless move on before something aweful happens. Your right to be questioning it, go with your gut.
2007-06-26 21:32:50 · answer #9 · answered by Karmakitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oooo hes one of those, well I can tell you this, he doesnt care about you that much, but i can also say that you must be hot, and thats no lie, I know its strange, why would i think i know that? but hey friends pretending to rape you, thats a sign they WISH they could turn you out, but know they can't so thats as close as they can get.
Dont let em do it though, get rough
2007-06-26 21:30:43 · answer #10 · answered by chazzzko 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋