When is the right time to visit a new baby?

Question

My brother and his wife have just had first child (3 days ago), but they are not allowing visitors just yet. I feel a bit upset.

Answer 1

They probably are a wee bit germophobic, which is quite natural for first time parents. It's silly, but it's normal. If this is the case, then just make a point of washing your hands when they finally allow visitors.
On a more somber note, there is a very small chance (quite small) that there is something "abnormal" with their baby that they are trying to adjust to. I doubt it, but give them the benefit of the doubt. Not all babies are born perfectly healthy and perfectly formed.
No matter the reason, try to be patient and understanding. Everyone is different; I wanted my husband, mom, sister, and mother-in-law in the delivery room for both of my daughters' births. My sister-in-law just wanted her husband, but was quick to show everyone her babies. My sister wanted her entire family to be there right after each child was born (but just her husband with her for the birth). And some people want family bonding time before they show off their bundle.

Answer 2

We didn't allow anyone at our home (they came to visit in the hospital though) for a week after our kids were born. We used the week to "get acquainted" with our new kids, we turned the ringer off on the phone, didn't answer the door, etc. After that, they were free to come and go as they pleased (assuming they called first).

With my second son, it wasn't such a big deal because we'd already had his brother and knew more about parenting, but with our first son, he was born during the winter (cold and flu season--and something as simple as a cold could potentiall kill a newborn) and were terrified of people not washing their hands, etc.

I'd say to respect the wishes of your brother and sister-in-law--especially if this is their first child. First time (and second time too, lol) parents have a HUGE adjustment to make, are scared for the safety and health of their baby, etc., and just want some bonding/alone time to get adjusted.

You'll have the rest of your life to play with your little neice or nephew... Will a few weeks really make that much difference in the grand scheme of things? :)

Answer 3

Don't be upset. As your sister in law is a new mum, she may take a bit of time to adjust to things. Don't take it personally, besides you have all the years to come to be the world's greatest aunty.

Our 4th child was 8 weeks old yesterday and we had visitors straight away when he was born, but that was just because of any easy birth and a quick exit from hospital for my wife. With one of my other sons there were complications and when he came home we didn't want to see anyone for ages. It just depends on the individual circumstances.

Answer 4

I didn't allow anyone to really visit for the first two weeks after my 3 children were born. It wasn't anything personal toward our family or friends, we just needed to get in a good routeine and get used to the new baby. I also didn't want a lot of germs brought into our home to be exposed to the babys until their immune systems had a chnce to kick in. There is nothing worse than a sick infant. I also just needed some time to rest, and get back to normal, child birthis a VERY exausing thing and can take the energy out of you for days. I wouldn't take it personal they just need an adjustment period. Give them a week or two to settle in with their new little one and you can go visit. They still love you, they just need a little bit of time and you need to respect that so they don't feel bad about their decision. It could cause unnecessary stress, I know personally.

Answer 5

Simply call and ask when they will be accepting family to visit. I think that they are rather intelligent to do this. First, it's best for the baby's health not to be exposed to a lot of other people when they are first born. Second, it gives them time to bond as the family unit that they are. It would have been nice if they'd told family members up front that they were going to do this, but they didn't. Just tell him that you would love to come and visit, that you aren't ill, and that you'll make your visit short to make it more comfortable for everyone.

Answer 6

Dear London,
If you are close to the mother and father, which you are as the father is your brother, it is normal to visit the baby that night or even the day after, but parents can feel uncomfortable and stressed, so may not wish for others to visit. They just need some time.

Elizabeth I x

Answer 7

Parents may need a while with a new baby before they let people visit. Remember, it is not easy on Mommy to have that child, especially the first one. She may need recovery time. Physical, and emotional recovery.
Besides, they probably feel very protective of that precious tiny one. Not easy to allow all sorts of people to hold it, and pass on germs from their hands, sneezes, coughing, etc.
Things will settle down soon.

Answer 8

I did not see by best friends baby for about 10 days, I am phobic of hospitals so that visit was out of the question and I thought that when they arrived home they would need time to settle as a family and to adjust.
My friend said that she loved me for it, she is not the kind of person to say no, so she put up with all the family and friends visits, but they were all unwelcome and rushed. When I got to see the new arrival I was welcome and had as much time as I wanted to spend with him - Also helped to hoover, wash up, load washing machine, etc. It is not all about the baby!

Answer 9

When the couple is ready for visitors. Not a moment sooner. They'll let you know, hon.
I didn't have visitors for 2 weeks after the birth of both my kids.

Answer 10

Why wouldn't they be allowed visitors? My daughter was only 20 minutes old when the family started arriving! As for the fear of germs, a breastfed baby should instantly be resistant to all the same things the mother is resistant to, and a "germfree" life is not a good idea.