It's not that I don't want kids inside my home. The problem is they're not disciplined. I had a gathering awhile ago and my friend's kid was jumping on my sofa. I don't want to be the one to discipline the kid, I don't feel that that's my responsibility. Is it wrong for me to not want to invite my friend's kids to my home? How do I deal with the situation if it happens again? OR what's an appropriate way to let my friends know that their kids aren't invited?
2007-06-26 12:10:01 · 12 answers · asked by wondering 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No. It's your house, take charge.
2007-06-26 12:13:14 · answer #1 · answered by ~soul*of*a*diva~ 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are punishing your own child when all you have to do is explain the rules of your house to your child's friend. Acknowledge that your rules may be different from his at home but this is the way things are at your house. The kid will actually be happier with some boundaries, since he obviously doesn't get any at home.
Unless, of course, the misbehaving child's parent(s) is present. In that case, if the parent doesn't step in, you can take the child by the arm and say "oh, you had better get down, dear. You might get hurt." A small (not painful) squeeze of the arm will get the message across about how the child might come to be hurt (no, you don't actually have to hurt the child if this tactic doesn't work, but it pretty much always works).
2007-06-26 19:16:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not your responsibility to discipline other kids, but it is your responsibility to inform them of the rules of your home. You should have told the kid to get off the couch, and politely but firmly explained to him that in this house, you don't play on the furniture, and if he can't respect your rules, he isn't allowed in your house.
Give the kid another chance. Explain to the kid (with your friend present, so they are both aware) that you have certain rules and you expect him to treat your home with respect. Leave it to your friend to decide what punishment or discipline is appropriate for the kid.
2007-06-26 19:20:34 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let them know in a nice way that their kids did not respect your home the last time they were there. I understand, all the neighbor kids love coming to my house and they have bisbehaved. I have pulled them to the side and explained to them that they will not be able to come play with my son if they make a mess. Before they go home they also have to clean up any toys that they were playing with. I have talked to the parents and we are all in agreement. I'm sure they know they have little terrors anyways and if they respond in a negative manner they are not friends anyways. Good luck.
2007-06-26 19:20:29 · answer #4 · answered by anae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's completely understandable, but YOU are the authority in your home. You just discipline them the same way you do your own kids. They will likely begin to behave for you, even if they never behave for their parents.
If not, then you just tell their parents what they did that got them uninvited.
2007-06-26 19:14:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I put a limit on how many friends are allowed over at a time and I restrict who can come here. If your at my house, I yell at you and tell your parents just as if you were my kid.
2007-06-26 19:14:12 · answer #6 · answered by Stacy R 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what worked for me in this situation is to have my child tell the guest child that (( we are not allowed to do that in the house, my mom will get upset )) and that seems to work best...rather than myself having to tell the guest child and make them feel uncomfortable.....
i always have a talk with my kids before friends come over and remind them that they know the rules in our house and if a friend is not following them it is their job to let the friend know...
good luck
2007-06-26 19:28:16 · answer #7 · answered by MOMOF3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let your friend know that if she does not parent her child in your home that YOU will parent them.
Then put your foot down and tell the kids to behave in your house.
2007-06-26 22:46:06 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not wrong. But if they are to come over, you must talk to your friend. She might get annoyed, but that's her problem. If no-one tells her, how will she ever know ?! Ask her to bring a couple of toys over with her maybe, to keep them occupied.
2007-06-26 19:16:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not. It's your home. I don't want poorly behaved children in my home either. You may have to be blunt and just tell her that unless she can control the kids, they aren't welcome.
2007-06-26 19:15:18 · answer #10 · answered by Purdey EP 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Hi (friend's name here), can you leave (kid's/kids' name[s] here) at home next time because I think they're little brats?" will usually do it.
2007-06-27 08:30:49 · answer #11 · answered by Devolution 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋