Boyfriend is into drugs and been in and out of jail. He lies and doesn't care about his life.
2007-06-26 12:09:38 · 36 answers · asked by kalichick 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
He will probably never be 'normal,' but people are unique. If he changes his ways, then he can be a good person, but will never see things the same way as a person who has a different history. To answer your question, I think he can be a worthwhile person if he chooses to change and gets the support he needs to do so.
2007-06-26 12:13:45 · answer #1 · answered by the Boss 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey Kalichick, I am a recovering addict. I have gone to rehab twice. From a personal point of view life can never be the way it was before I became an addict. I have been off the drug for 11 months now, and even though I'm not using, I Still feel like an addict. Its a tough call about your boyfriend. I have my children, my husband and my church supporting me but still its soo hard. Addiction is a chronic relapsing disease. Those are the facts, you make the choice.
2007-06-26 12:22:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience you can go back to a normal life, but it all depends greatly on if that person wants to change! There have been so many that go to re-hab, jail or loose all they have ever worked for and yet still no changes then again there are others that can flip a switch and see where there life is and could be if they were to get off the drugs and they change. Just give them the benefit of the doubt at first, its a long, hard, struggling process but if that person wants to...then they will and can!
2007-06-26 12:13:40 · answer #3 · answered by BlameMe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is just like any other addiction. YES, you CAN go back to living a normal life, and a GREAT life. You can get your family back, have them tell you they love you & are glad they have you & your love again. Get a good job & good friends etc. BUT, the addict has to want it more than anything. Has to get straight & want to stay straight, join a group & work the program. I mean realize that it's life or death eventually, because that's what it's going to end up being. Be it drugs, alcohol or any other life threatening addiction. Until they reach their bottom, NOTHING/NO ONE is going to be able to do a thing about it. Only THEY can do it. Honestly, don't be around to have your heart broken time after time again. Why would you subject yourself to just getting hurt when you have to be the strong one & remove yourself from it. YOU are NOT going to change him, no matter what you say, how hard you want it, HE has to do it himself. You take control of YOUR life & go for a better life for yourself. One where you can be happy, one where you won't know what he's doing in the future. Please get out now for YOUR sake! Let him hit his bottom & don't enable him in any way. Be free for once, you deserve it & only you can make it happen for YOU. I wish you ALL the best, be strong for YOU...
2007-06-26 12:29:50 · answer #4 · answered by Sue C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello ,i am an addict staying at a veterans center i have been clean for 3 1/2 ,years a person that is an addict or alcoholic,cannot quit for; you, mom, dad, or god. The only person he can do it for himself working a balance program ,going to N.A. meetings . I am older i had to fall to my bottom, which means i fell down to my knees, I dropped down to my knees in deep pain asking god for help asking him for help with in three minutes a friend drove me to the veterans hospital ,i stayed there 28 days not enough time for a true addict the only thing a true addict that does not work a honest program gets is, JAILS / INSTITUTIONS / OR DEATH / He has to be selfish and dedicated to the program of recovery if he goes to meetings every day for one year without using that is a big start, he needs to go to counseling and even a recovery home for a while and visit you on a week end ,here are some things you might have to do, DON'T GIVE HIM MONEY , don't let HIM HAVE A PITY PARTY,TELLING YOU ABOUT HIS PAST WOES ,NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HIM ONLY YOU DO, You should go to ALA-NON MEETINGS for a little these are girlfriends,boyfriends,wives,husbands, children, of ALCOHOLICS & ADDICTS They will show you the in & outs of the addicts ways they will try to monipulate you
2007-06-26 13:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The addict has to want to change. And just because he says he wants to change doesnt mean he really does. And just because he says he wants to but cant does not mean he doesnt want to. It is a very confusing condition. If leaving him for good and moving on with your life is not an option you want to work for, than I suggest that you go to a support group for people who love addicts. Narc-anon or Alon-on. I am a recovering addict so I know it is possible to get clean and change, but it is a slow painful process and I have hurt many people In my life that I care about. So hang in there and do what you need to do for yourself, maybe you can lead by example.
2007-06-26 12:28:56 · answer #6 · answered by IamwatIam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a person truly wants to live a sober life...they can. I am doing it because I truly want it. That is the only way that they will be able to make it work.
As for their life being normal...I would say that I focus a lot on my sobriety but it has had positive effects on just about every aspect of my life. So I consider myself to be living a better than normal life.
http://www.whatwinnersdo.com is my personal addiction site, feel free to check it out.
2007-06-29 02:47:16 · answer #7 · answered by erin.savage 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless he hits rock bottom, and even then some never learn, he might be able to go back to living a normal life. Right now the way you describe him, he definitely is not on the right track. I feel for you and hope you can find someone who will be a good choice for you. I would not want you to live a life full of misery waiting. take care.
2007-06-26 12:13:45 · answer #8 · answered by kjrjekjrje 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My former sis in law just died 3 weeks ago--accidental overdose. She had lived that way for 30 years or longer--lying, conning, deceiving people in any way, losing her kids, on and on I never wished her death, but to answer your question, THAT is how long it can go on and your love and all the love in the world won't change it, only he can. Get yourself some help and go find someone who loves you and you can have a hppy life with. If he doesn't care about his life, how can he care about you?
2007-07-02 16:03:12 · answer #9 · answered by BELINDA B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him Kali... he can have a normal life yes, but he will only do that if he chooses it.
let him clean himself up - away from you, get a flat, & job, pay the rent buy food etc...be there for him if you must - but get your own life rolling now - trust me on this one... i have been there and wasted 7 yrs of my life.
if he fixes himself up then you and he can work towards a future. and know that he may well regress throughout his life, back to this level.
the best support you can be to him is to stop enabling. that means, no money otherwise you enable him to buy drugs.. if he is hungry and says thats what its for, make him a sandwich. no sleep overs... thats enabling to live at his lowest level and knwo that he can take drugs and still have a place to sleep with you.. and so on and so forth......
lots of luck
emma x
2007-07-02 08:06:21 · answer #10 · answered by emma m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋