my fiance hates my family and doesn't want to have anything to do with them but they are my family and in my life forever and now he is in my life and forever as well..i am torn can anyone help and why do i have to choose??
2007-06-26 11:43:39 · 34 answers · asked by alwyswaiting107 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
the reason tht my fiance hates my family is that he see's through them..my mother steals my pain medication, my sister is selfish and gets whatever she wants and my grandmother dosen't listem to me and what I want to make a long story short. he dosen't want me to get hurt by people I love or taken advantage of..not to mention the fact that my mother almost had me thrown in jail.
2007-06-26 13:07:59 · update #1
It sounds to me like he's got a good head on his shoulders and loves and respects you which is a lot more than your family does. Doing the things they are doing is not showing one ounce of love or respect for you, so why do you bother giving it to them. Your marriage can still work even if he doesnt like your family, but there will be times you'll have to attend family functions together. He might go with you in the beginning, but the more your family continues to do these things the less he'll want to spend any time with them. My father's family was like this and I had an aunt by marriage and she saw right through the family too so she quit going around them. Once in a great while she might make an appearance, but it was very seldom. They have been married for almost 35 years, because he respected her choice not to be involved with any of them. If anything ever comes up about why your husband isnt there, be honest and tell them he doesnt like the way they treat you. Maybe eventually they'll be ashamed enough to change their ways. If not you will need to learn that your husband is your family and his wishes should come before their's do. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage and I sincerely wish you years of happiness.
2007-06-26 13:15:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
i know exactly how you feel... Sick & tired of being pregnant but at the same time you feel bad feeling this way as you know a baby is a miracle! I'm going in to be induced tomorrow. Since i have been on maternity leave i have felt the same as you. I've tried to keep myself busy by going on-line, watching tv, phoning friends, getting any last minute things for the baby & trying to rest. Thats all i can suggest i'm affraid but good luck. I wish you all the best & i'm sure you'll figure out something to do to kill the time! Congrats!♥ღ♥
2016-05-21 03:06:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am big on families but sounds like to me you need to take a break from them,especially if you get treated like that.However be aware he does sound a little prossesive and that is NEVER a good thing.You are in a hard spot give some time and think things over clearly,go somewhere for a weekend BY YOURSELF and just think things through.You shouldn't have to choose You may be surprised what you discover,luck to you.
2007-06-26 14:56:24 · answer #3 · answered by peppersham 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn’t have to choose between the two even if he doesn't like them he still has to respect them. If he really wants to be with you he needs to accept your family they are a part of you that never really go away. You have to do some soul searching as well do you rally want to be with a man who would make you chose between you and your family.
Another question is why does he “hate” your family? How do they treat him? You’ll need to talk to them and get them to understand you really love this guy and they need to accept him. They might not like him but they also need to respect him.
2007-06-26 12:20:06 · answer #4 · answered by always_sweet_b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family is your family - a part of YOU. You have to deal with his family and his friends so he should do the same for you.
Marrying a man that hates your family isn't going to work. Think hard about the situation before you say 'I do'. Do you really want to spend forever with somebody that wants nothing to do with the people that matter to you most?
2007-06-26 11:47:39 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's a bad sign, babe. It will only get worse. Think very clearly and honestly about why he feels that way. Is he justified? Should he have forgiven them? Did they deserve it. Is it possible for him to forgive them and be cordial to them for the sake of your relationship - if he could be but he's too bitter then leave him. You will be miserable with him and love cam be found again but you cannot trade in your family. Someone else may be a better person to be in a relationship with.
Good luck.
2007-06-26 11:49:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should have to choose either. Have they done anything that he feels so strongly about them? Hate is a strong word. I know many husbands that really don't care for there relatives, but put up with and are nice to a few times a year. What is the story?
2007-06-26 11:46:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
will if hes going to come between your family then its not worth marring this person family will always be there forever its a insult to u and i know my sister inlaw broke up my two brothers she hated my younger brother always bad mouthing etc anyways if thats the case u need to let your fiance know there important to u and if he cant understand that then hes not the man for u he has to love all of u including your family or fake it around them
2007-06-26 11:51:02 · answer #8 · answered by dvcgurl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats going to be a serious thorn in your side throughout your whole relationship.
Maybe you should reconsider the marriage or at least push it off for a while until he can get to know your folks better. If he dosent get to know and care for your parents almost as well as you do then your headed for disaster in your marriage.
Sorry, just telling you the truth.
2007-06-26 11:48:12 · answer #9 · answered by milkman24_99 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very true, he married you not the family. He should be able to put up with them for YOU. I've been doing it for years and it works out easily. When he's there with your family you should keep him by your side at all times so he can remember why he agreed to it. It's all about you and him only. No one else...until you have kids.
2007-06-26 12:20:17 · answer #10 · answered by Fili 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋