He married my mom when I was 12, and had me kicked out on my own when I was 17, so I really only lived under "his" roof for 5 years. My "best" memory of him? Him always calling me a "fat, stupid failure". Even when I was on my own at 17, he hated everything I did, mocked me, refused to allow a boyfriend in "his" house (because he hated Mexicans and my bf was Mexican), etc. etc. etc. Mom divorced him 10-13 years ago. I haven't seem him or his side of the family in 17-20 years. They're having a "memorial" for him on 4th of July. I don't know his family anymore, and I don't care to drive 4 hours round-trip on the 4th to remember a man who caused me so much pain.
Am I wrong not to go? His family were all nice enough, but it's been 20 years and I really don't care.
2007-06-26 11:25:32 · 18 answers · asked by Sabine É 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
PS I'm 40 (years old) now, if that matters
2007-06-26 11:30:38 · update #1
PSS he hated ALL non-white, or non-Americans
2007-06-26 11:34:39 · update #2
No, sounds like he was a royal jerk, I do not think you have any obligation to go, in fact it would probably stir up a lot of old emotions and there is going to be someone there trying to make him sound like a good person and it will be hard to keep quiet. Save yourself the pain and frustration and don't go.
2007-06-26 13:44:14 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHY are you even INVITED to the memorial service? I don't get this AT ALL.
My dad married my stepmom when I was 6 and they divorced when h was about 17, and I didn't even HATE her, but I doubt if go to her memorial/funeral (whenever that happens).
P.s. I'm 40 now too.
This is a weird question. You were NEVER his kid. I doubt anyone would notice you WEREN'T there.
Just DON'T GO.
2015-08-20 01:11:36 · answer #2 · answered by _aw_ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's 10 and extremely unhappy. i could propose taking him for a actual with a type commonplace practitioner. Then in line with threat getting him signed up for some activities HE likes. it may take a on an identical time as to locate one. he probably has few acquaintances yet whilst he has any, artwork with that too. do no longer belittle him. he feels undesirable sufficient as that's. his dad could get entangled here too. choose for walks at the same time, rid the living house of extra junk meals. in line with threat have the commonplace practitioner call his mom. i've got faith for the guy. that's quite annoying to shed extra pounds and nutrients plan. It i harder than struggling with smoking. It must be hell for a 10 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous boy.
2016-10-03 04:46:41 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going would be a good idea, just to be sure that he was gone. And it might be a good time to say some of the things you still need to say. It's okay to hate people and it's okay to want to walk over their grave and dig your heels in. If you don't do it in person, then do it in your mind. Forgiveness is for weaklings. You were tough way back then. Be tough again.
2007-06-26 22:16:22 · answer #4 · answered by sweet_echo_fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad is the same way. I'm only 14... Although if he kicked me out of the house I would be grateful. Anyways, don;t waste your time on the jerk. If he caused you that much pain, return the favor and don't go.
Good Luck.
2007-06-26 11:54:42 · answer #5 · answered by Jordyn C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom wasnt any better than him.SHE ALLOWED HIM TO MISTREAT YOU.YOU SHOULD BE JUST AS MAD AT HER.Are you married to that wonderful mexican now? Or was your step dad right about him?here are some good ones, but not all of them.Too bad he is dead, I'm curious as to what HIS side of the story is,Usually when a step kicks a teen out it is because they wont behave.
2007-06-26 11:33:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say going to the funearal would be a good idea. But you can't control how people treat YOU. but you can control how you treat other people. Theres this person that treats me like im trashs. But any time they need help im the first one to help. It shows that im a good person. Although he is gone. It will show his family that you are a good person. And its always good to have more family.
2007-06-26 12:00:40 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I cant believe you were even thinking about going, after everything you describe. Please dont feel bad if you dont go, you owe this man nothing. Maybe all of the useless hatred that he had for all other races finally did a number to his insides. I cant imagine living my life with hatred for someone that I dont even know, for reason that they are born into. Carrying around hate like that cant be good for anyone.
2007-06-26 11:55:43 · answer #8 · answered by aud61717 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
u dont have to go. u havent been around him in 17-20 yrs. ur mom divorced him so theres no connection to him at all now. i wouldnt worry about going if i was u. enjoy ur fourth of july with ur friends and family.
2007-06-26 11:32:06 · answer #9 · answered by marieandsameverett 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it not wrong to not go after all this time has passed...
he's gonna answer for all that he said or did or thought about you during your years.......
forgive him now dont hold onto that memory:
give it away! or your will be in the same spot as him for holding on to unforgivness....if he asked for forgiveness then it is done although he should have asked you too but even if he didnt..{:-( hmmm
i cant tell you what to feel but I pray that you find comfort and peace)
2007-06-26 11:41:57 · answer #10 · answered by camero 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋