Should I let this bother me so much?........My GF is white...?

Question

my parents love her and we love eachother. However her parents dont feel the same about me. She didnt grow up near any black ppl and when we first met she had no intention of dating me, I dont think she had seen many black people that weren't on TV. It was love at firt sight for me but she was shy around me at first, then she got to know me and we became good friends, then after about a year of close friendship she told me she had fallen in love w/ me and we started dating.

Now when we were friends, her parents were fine around me. But since we dated its changed, theyre reserved and dont like to communicate with me alot, I dont get invted to things that I used to. When my GF asked them about it, they said it was because im black. My GF doesnt care what they think, and her aunts and her other family members tell me not to worry about it and that they'll come around.

this is really bothering me because we are deeply in love, but i dont want to alienate her from her parents

I asked this before, just looking for more opinions

Answer 1

Talk to them. You're gonna have to win them over the same way you did their daughter. Don't marry right away. Give them a chance to get to know you better. Tell them that you are holding off getting married because you want their support. They will respect you for that. Give them time to get used to the idea and that you are a good, respectable, honest man.

Answer 2

It *is* bothersome that we live in a society that isn't totally colorblind yet, and her parents either uphold those judgements, or fear for their daughter's future from others with similar judgements. I would be bothered by this, too.

Nonetheless, it's not something you can do much about, so you might as well just be as polite and nice to them as possible, and if they are decent people, eventually they should come around. If it is any consolation, there are plenty of people who don't like each other, and the reasons can range from the usual prejudices (race, gender, religion), to the downright silly (don't like their accent, share the same tastes in music, etc.).

There will *always* be some people who like you, and some who don't, and even politicians (whose occupation is essentially Professional Butt Smoocher) rarely get more than ~%50 approval ratings. So don't worry too much if only 1 of 2 people like you.... that's still pretty good!

Answer 3

Well, I can honestly say I know what you mean. I was disowned by my parents when I married a black man. I was 23. My older brother walked me down the aisle. A year or so later when I had my daughter they gave in. It will be tough for sometime. Some people never come around. Just remember to do whatever makes you happy!

Answer 4

Give it some time they will come around. A parent always has expatiation's for their children... schooling, a good living, type of person they marry etc. Almost never are all of there expiation's met but with time they will come around , when they see you love her and treat her well. The thing a parent wants most for their child is to be loved.

Answer 5

My opinion is that you stay with your girlfriend because you love her. Point blank. That's it!

Don't keep her away from her family. Later on down the road she will resent you and blame you. Let her do her own thing with her folks if you don't want to be involved and when she's done with her family time, she will come to you for you all's time.
I know it's hard (my husband is African American) and I've been there. We've been together for five years married four and we don't have any problems from family anymore. Once the "initial shock" is over, they may warm up to you again. Until then, don't be pushy and possesive and keep her away from her family.

Answer 6

It *is* bothersome that we live in a society that may no longer completely colorblind yet, and her mothers and fathers the two uphold those judgements, or concern for his or her daughter's destiny from others with comparable judgements. i could be stricken by utilising this, too. in spite of the reality that, it is not some thing you're able to do a lot approximately, which you're able to as properly in simple terms be as well mannered and constructive to them as possible, and in the event that they're first rate human beings, ultimately they could come around. whether that's any convenience, there are an outstanding form of human beings who do unlike one yet another, and the excuses can variety from the common prejudices (race, gender, faith), to the downright stupid (do unlike their accessory, share the comparable tastes in track, etc.). there'll *continuously* be some people who such as you, and a few who do no longer, or perhaps politicians (whose occupation is basically expert Butt Smoocher) not often get extra beneficial than ~%50 approval scores. So do no longer hardship too a lot if basically one million of two human beings such as you.... it continues to be distinctly good!

Answer 7

While most white people don't think their prejudice, it still affects them in many ways. If you want to continue with this relationship you will have many extra difficulties like it or not. While somethings may have changed many people haven't and you will always face people that will not except your relationship. I recommend that you watch the movie "guess who's coming to dinner" it's a little dated but it's a very good movie about the subject. May be it will help.

Answer 8

Her parents will get used to it... that's how the parents of my brothers girlfriend were she is white and we are Salvadorian and it was a big deal cause my brother is illegal and all plus with the MS 13 gang that derives from El Salvador they saw my bother as a bad guy but later on they got married and had kids it just takes time they'll get used to ya!

Answer 9

theyre racist, dude. who cares about them. [well you should CARE about them, but not what they think or believe.] there is nothing wrong with you, even though you are black, and thats the same thing that your girlfriend thinks too. she doesnt care, and neither should you. never think you should break up with her because of her color difference or parents. i mean, do you like it when people make decisions about you because of your color? no. and thats what you would be doing to her. unless she says something, then dont change. keep your head up, and be nice to the parents. let them know you like them too.

if you want, you could also try talking to the parents. in person, alone. not with your gf because it could get confusing that way.

Answer 10

The easiest way to get in good with her dad is to have a good job and a plan for your future...college, career, home, etc.

The easiest way to get in good with her mom, is to treat your GF like a queen, be respectful, open the door for her, giver her gifts, etc.

You probably won't win their hearts overnight, but don't get deterred or impatient. They will come around once you prove yourself to be an outstanding gentleman and a hard working citizen.

I'm white and my wife is black. It took a while for our families to come around, especially the older generation. There is still a lot of hard feelings with them that are not going to be erased overnight.

Good luck.