How do I deal effectively with my persistent Christian friend?

Question

I have a Christian friend who does not respect my views on religion or the fact that I am a Catholic. She is a good friend in general but she is very persistent about inviting me to her Church and conveniently ignores the fact that I don't want to go to church with her. I don't want to hurt her feelings so I haven't directly confronted her about it but I would like to know how to get her to stop, or if I can do so. It seems that for many non-denominational Christians, persistently inviting people to church, no matter what their views or religion, is the way to go. PLEASE no smart aleck responses. I only wish for constructive advice.

Answer 1

Dear Friend,

My name is Father John Forbus. There is nothing immoral about attending her celebration and worship as long as you fulfill your obligations as a Catholic first (e.g.) attend Sunday Mass and Holy Days of Obligation. However, if you still feel uncomfortable about attending, then ask her to be patient and trust in the Holy Spirit to lead you when you are ready.
Assure her that even if you never attend her services, you and she still worship and praise the one God no matter the location or ceremony. If you choose to worship and praise in the Mass and never attend "her" church, would that decrease the worship God deserves? Ask her why it is so important for you to attend "her" church. Notice that I say "her" church. That is the difference between us Catholics and those who are not Catholics. The Catholic Church is not ours. We say this every Mass. When I am at the altar and the gifts are prepared I say, "Pray brothers and sisters that our sacrifice may be acceptable to God the Almighty Father." And the people respond, "May the Lord accept the sacrifice at your hands, for the praise and glory of His name, for our good and the good of all HIS Church." Therefore, the Church is not our own it is Christ's. But I digress.
If you attend one day, you can simply sit there and worship in your chair or pew. You can even clap your hands and sing with them. Praise and worship God with them.
However, I caution you not to do anything that would indicate you have accepted their church and beliefs (e.g.) go up for an altar call, be baptized, or receive communion from them. This is not a seperatist practice as some would think it. It is a respect of their and your beliefs. As Catholics we do not offer non-Catholics communion because it is more than consuming the body and blood of Christ. It is also a pledge to adhere and defend the Catholic Church and her teachings. To receive communion is a sign of membership of the Catholic Church. Since, they do not agree with us doctrinally or sacramentally, then we do not coerce them to receive for it would be a forced betrayal of their own faith and doctrines. If we treat them in this repectful manner, then the same should be extended to us.
However, the best you can do is to pray for her, be a good friend to her, speak with her honestly about this, and love her as Jesus loves us. If she is still persistent, then ask her if she sees you as a friend or as an opportunity to increase the numbers of her congregation. If the later then you may have to end the friendship for she never did see you as a friend, but a number for her fold. I don' t mean for this to sound mean or angry. I am not, but I do believe in saying things clearly as possible and that means cutting out all the flourishment of words. So, I have a lot of people who think I am confrontational when I am only trying to be clear. May the Lord bless and keep you. May the light of His face shine upon you.

God's and your beast of burden
Fr. john

Answer 2

Well, I believe your friend is over-zealous. But it appears that she has your best interests at heart, anyway.

If you have a mind to, you could agree to one visit.

Rather, though, if you are sure of your own faith, you should probably be direct with her. Don't fear to "confront" your friend. All that means is to be honest and direct. Some folks think this means to fight.

That is only one meaning. Another one is "to bring together for examination or comparison". I think that is the one you want to do.

Ask her why she wants you to visit her church, and what she thinks you will get out of it that you don't already have in your current situation.

If you are not swayed, tell her directly so, and that you would rather not have to discuss this situation again. Period.

Any further persistance can be given a silent treatment or a talk-to-the-hand if you like. You have made your request clear once already.

Further pushing of her ideas may indicate that she is not truly a friend at all, and perhaps you may wish to distance youself some.

Answer 3

Tell her that all that really matters is that you're Christian, that you'll go to heaven. Tell her when every person on this earth is Christian, then we'll worry about little details. There's so many unreached people out in the world and we're sitting here worrying about whether our church leader is called a pastor or a priest.

A lot of my friends are Catholic, and this reasoning has worked pretty well.

Good Luck
&
God Bless. :)

Answer 4

Some evangelical pastors and Bible study leaders are very big on getting Catholics to come to their church; they've been told that we aren't saved, so they get persistent about it because they truly mean well. I must also tell you from having been on the other side of the fence at one time, converting a Catholic is considered quite a feather in one's cap in some churches.

I agree that it does no harm for you to go to her church with her; I worship with my evangelical relatives when I visit them, just don't participate in any communion service, and make sure to also go to Mass. But if you'd just rather she didn't do this, you could explain to her that you are a born-again, Bible-believing Christian. (You are born again through your baptismal regeneration, and of course you believe the Bible, right?.) This phrase works well for total strangers who approach you, too: "Are you saved? Do you know Jesus?" "Yes I do! I'm a born-again, Bible-believing Christian, my brother. The peace of Christ be with you." Say "Yes, I'm Catholic", and immediately they see a big fish to reel in. (I have heard it expressed in just those words.)

I know this sounds a little snide, though it's not intended to be. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but like I said -- I've been there, and I know what evangelicals say among themselves about Catholics.

Answer 5

As they say "persistence pays off".
Why not just go with her once. Make her happy. When she asks you to go again the next time tell her thanks but you don't really agree with "whatever", and that maybe it's just better for her to believe it the way she wants and you can believe it the way you want. Then maybe have a conversation about the similarities and some of the diffrences and just maybe she'll find out that your beliefs are "close enough".
Does this make sense, is it helpful?

Answer 6

My advice: Go once. Carefully consider what is being taught and double check it by the study of the scriptures mentioned and the subject. Compare both Catholics beliefs and non-denominational beliefs by God's word. Let God's word be the final authority over people say.

Answer 7

She might just be wanting to share a part of her life with you that is important to her. She might not be trying to convert you. Go once, then ask her to go with you the next weekend. Since you both are Christians of different branches, she has no real reason to convert you. It might be interesting for you to see the different views of the two same yet different religions.

Answer 8

You could just turn the tables on her and keep inviting her to your church instead.. or, if you prefer to be more polite, simply say, "No thank you. I really like my place of worship and I wouldn't want to miss even one week."
If she persists, just say the same thing each time. She'll get tired of it.

Answer 9

I'm an atheist, and had a friend who used to invite me to his church. Every time he did, I laughed and said, "You've GOT to be joking." It was easier than explaining what he already knew.

Answer 10

that's tough.

it depends on how you feel.

because i would say, if u went at least ONCE to a meeting, u can politely say "hey, thanks a lot, it was fun but i think i want to stick to my church, but i can see why u wanted to share it w/ me".

but if u really feel annoyed and dont' want to go, just firmly say "thanks, but i already have my own home church and i want u to respect that..if u keep asking, i'm going to feel like u are disrespecting my religion".

=T good luck