im getting married at september. we been dating for about 5 years now. she is my most prized possession. i love her so much. but amid happiness, im having lots of doubts. "what if" comes to my thought and think about the negatives more often then before. i'm afraid i will be the first one to be "runaway groom". is this normal or should i take some time off and call off the wedding for now?
2007-06-26 09:20:57 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would say stop and think what are the what ifs are they a ma jar problem if so talk to someone you can trust you shouldn't get married with ifs its not fair to you are the other person.
2007-06-26 10:28:35 · answer #1 · answered by akkarpks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends. Sit down and think about this. Are your worries based on FACTS? If so, then you've got something to worry about. Maybe you DO need to call it off for now until you work through your problems. Get some couples' counseling or something. BUT... if your worries are just feelings and concern, then it is just normal. It is a big step, so naturally you will be nervous. But think of it. Nothing is going to change if you have been with this person for five years and she is REALLY your most prized possession. You're just making it official and protection one another legally. You back out now, and that "prized possession" might be lost forever. Think carefully and make sure you have REAL and CONCRETE reasons to be afraid of this before you foolishly wimp out and wait. But if you really DO have reasons, then contend with those reasons BEFORE you get married. Good luck!
2007-06-26 16:31:35 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, she's not your possession. Now that that's out of the way, you need to deal with your doubts. Pay lots of attention to your inner voice and your gut feeling about your upcoming marriage. Deep down inside, do you truly want to be married to this woman? Do you want to be married at all?
I suggest listing all the negatives. How major or minor is each one? For each negative, is this something solvable or something you can live with? Is there anything on the list that's a bonafide dealbreaker? Are they specific negatives or just a general feeling of "what if someone better comes along?"
You need to be 100% committed to your marriage. If you have to, cancel or postpone the wedding until you've worked thru all your issues. What you DON'T want to do is to get married yet not be fully committed to your marriage.
2007-06-26 16:33:40 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love her get a grip.
But some advice here. If you think she is a possession (prized or otherwise) you are off on the wrong track to start with, let her go and find love, not ownership.
If you would do anything for her to be content, safe, secure, healthy; and if possible, happy - to hell with the "what if's". Get on with it. Marry and go onto find true love. Along the way you will (both together I do hope) cry, dispair, worry, frustrate, laugh, wonder and live.
It's all well worth every moment, I promise.
2007-06-26 16:39:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,
it is just a day that is all, it is more for the people who come to see the two of you get married. and to be a simile of the day that you decided that you marry the one that you love. but in reality it is just a big party, with food drink and cake.
the doubt that you are having are just that doubt you are worried if you will be a good husband and someday father, weather you will be able to do what is expected of you. don't let the negativity's of the stress make you make a mistake. if you love her and you know that she loves you and the two of you want to get married then think of it as a big party and have fun on that day.love her and love the life that you wish to make with her. remember it is just a party. if you feel that you may need time to think thing over tell your girlfriend and explain to her how you feel she will understand if she loves you like you love her.
2007-06-26 16:43:00 · answer #5 · answered by Sonya K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's called cold feet, my friend. Happens to everyone, and it's perfectly normal. You're about to make a pretty major life change, so it's natural to feel apprehensive about it. If there's nothing concrete to base your apprehensions about your wedding, then chalk it up to nerves, and have a great life! However, if something's happened within your relationship that's causing you to seriously re-think the marriage, then by all means postpone the wedding until you're sure.
Most of the time though, it's simply pre-wedding jitters. You'll be fine! Congrats and good luck!
2007-06-26 16:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jitters are normal you've been with her for five years now and you yourself just said she is your prized possession. What if that, What if this, youll never know if you dont get married with the person you love. But sure if you feel that in your heart that their might be the slightest doubt then you should take some time off and contemplate, but if you feel their just jitters then shake them off and give it a whirl. Good luck and I send you my best wishes.
2007-06-26 16:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by D S♦T♦A♦R♦S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"What if" what? What are you so afraid of? If you can't accept that "sh1t happens", then you will NEVER be ready to get married, or take ANY responsibility whatsoever. When you look for work, do you think "what if" you lose the job you're about to get? I mean, sure, you might lose your job, but isn't it nice to be working? Sure, something might happen and you will no longer be able to get along with your spouse sometime down the road... but wouldn't the good life that you two shared be worth it? Remember, at the end we are all dead. Enjoy what life has to offer, and don't focus on the "what if's" - focus on the benefits.
2007-06-26 17:08:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having doubts before taking such a big step in your life is normal. Try doing something positive like reading 'The Secret' or talking to someone who just got married. You have three months... make the best of it by planning for your new life with positivity.
2007-06-26 16:26:39 · answer #9 · answered by Carlotta B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normal thoughts. I had the same feelings before I married and have no regrets. My husband and I have married a happy 5 years.
2007-06-26 16:25:19 · answer #10 · answered by Kiki Joy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what if's are nothing to worry about. that's just part of cold feet. getting married is a big step. i called off a wedding twice with 2 months before the wedding both times. it wasn't a question of what if for me, i knew deep down in my heart that we were not going to make it.
2007-06-26 16:24:21 · answer #11 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋