How do you handle a step child 7 years old that doesn't talk to you much or listens to you?

Answer 1

You need to take the initiative to find some sort of a connection between the two of you. It is perfectly normal for her to have some issues with you - especially if the relationship is fairly new or if she is not with you regularly. She probably sees you as a threat or an infringement. From a 7 year old's perspective, this is understandable.

It often takes time to build a relationship. But as the adult, you are the one who is going to have to put forth the major effort in making it happen. Find a common interest (even if it means you being creative in finding it), use humor to share some inside joke between the two of you, make sure that you give her attention as a person - not just as a kid you are stuck dealing with. The main thing is that you need to go above and beyond in showing her that you are willing. It may not happen overnight, but if she sees that you are taking a genuine interest and that you aren't trying to to be a threat, then she will come around.

Answer 2

Sensitively. I had a hard time with my youngest stepson in our first few years. He was around the same age, which I think may have a lot to do with it. Give it time, you never know what they are going through. Love them, try and have a good time with them, find some mutual interests or just take interest in them and their stuff. Don't just ignore them that will never make anything better which is obviously what you want to do or you wouldn't be asking this question. I have reprimanded my stepchildren (with the approval of my husband) when I felt it was necessary but not over every little thing, I had to choose my battles. On the other hand their mother's boyfriend was the type that just ignored them and let her deal with it all and consequently they had no respect for him. I am proud to be able to say that I have a wonderful relationship with both of my stepsons, we get along very well and have a great time together.

Answer 3

I am in the same situation with my 10 year old step daughter. She comes everything other weekend, I get her home and she runs to her room and that's where she hides til she goes home, watches her tv all the time. I have had countless conversations with her and it has lasted for a day and then she goes back to the way she was. (she comes out to eat and go to the bathroom) I have just gotten fed up, I let her be, I make her go outside when we are outside(she still doesn't talk to any of us), I tell her the tv stays off when she can be outside playing and doing stuff with us. She will stay in her room and listen to headphones and read a book,. I gave up on the long conversations, they don't do any good anyway. She's old enough to talk to us when she is here, if she doesn't want to, then so be it , can't force her too.

Answer 4

If there is no medical reason for behavior then you probably just have to give time a chance. Depending on gender find out what the little one's likes and dislikes are, then try to arrange time for a one on one to site of interest or whatever. If they have an interest in cars visit a car lot or showroom or parts store or something related. If they have an interest in boats, ditto. You can share the interest with them and also make it known to them that you are in individual and have interests too. Museums are fun to roam around in and can also identify an area of interest for you to develop. You have to find a middle ground; not be a rug nor a dictator. Remember one of my favorite sayings, "Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill".

Answer 5

You need to talk to your spouse and explain what is going on and the two of you need to sit this child down and establish some ground rules. Just make sure that you and your spouse are using the same rules!

Answer 6

Take time to get to know him/her better. Find out what s/he likes to do. Find things that you have in common, things you can talk & laugh about.

You & your spouse need to work together to let your stepchild know that dad/mom respects you as an parental partner in your stepchild's life -and- fully expects the stepchild to listen to you as a parental/authority figure.

Answer 7

I think dad should get into the situation and talk to his child and tell him that you are an adult and he or she needs to respect you, but unless it comes from dad, I dont' think anything you do will do much good.

Answer 8

Actually, I would just ignore them. That will make them more likely to want to talk to you and when they start talking to you then and trying to attract your attention, then you can do something nice with them ( like painting). If they know you care about what you think they are more likely to play up.

Answer 9

One on one bonding. Games, stories, go to the park, ply with this child. Takes two to break ice here.

Answer 10

Try to do things together he/she may like. Talk to your spouse about different ideas. You don't know what the ex is telling him/her. Stay cool no matter what. He/she, will hopefully come around.