a question to ask....just cuz i want to hear someone else´s opinion.?

Question

I am 20 years old, have been married for almost a year now, he is everything i have ever wanted and i couldnt ask for anyone better than him. we´ve known each other for 2 years now, i know to some people it may not sound long. i really want a baby, i know i am mature enough to have one, and all my friends around me are pregnant, and i look at their current situation, and its just horrible and i cant believe they are bringing a child into this life, without the babies dad to be there,not being financially stable..etc. my husband is 24 and he has a good paying, job. (college degree)he´s been working there since he was 21. we have a new car (it´d be safe for a baby). we are financially ver stable. he said he would much rather wait, but if its what i truly want a baby with him, then he wouldnt mind. i have tons of experience with babies since i have 3 young siblings. one is 9 months, the other are 4 years, and 7 years, that i practically raised, or at least help to raise.what do u think?

Answer 1

Ask him why he wants to wait.
Also, sit down and figure things like meoney, even if you know you have it, so you wont be suprised. Get estimates of monthly costs (I can help with these if you like) and also money to put into savings, both for you and for baby. Also, are you planning on buying a house or moving? Do you want to go to college yourself? Consider all of these things, figure when you can have everything in order (Including your health, any planned pregnancy should start with an ob/gyn visit and a good diet) and then pick time to start trying, or to look again at your life situation. Perhaps even just seeing everything on paper, seeing how possible it is, will make your husband decide there is no reason to wait.
Good luck and have fun! =)

Answer 2

Personally I see no reason why you shouldn't have a baby. However, I don't personally know you so this is just based on the facts above. I had my first child young and never regretted it. My husband and I have been together almost 10 years now. We were married after knowing each other a little over a year. Our sons birth soon followed.
If you think you are financially and emotionally ready to be a parent, and you think your spouse would be a good parent as well. Go for it. Not that you need my nor anyone else's permission. Good Luck.

Answer 3

You sound very mature for your age and confident enough to raise a baby, but I would say wait a year or two. Not for any other reason except that you are still young enough to enjoy things, like going out with your husband and doing stuff. This will not be an option when toting along a baby. Sure you will have a sitter here and there, but going away for a weekend? Not happening. Enjoy your marriage, your husband, live, have fun, love each other. You can only grow closer. There is plenty of time for you to have children. Don't rush.

Answer 4

I think that you should wait until you are married longer. Some milestones I would wait for (if you aren't there yet):

1. Buy a house.
2. 2 reliable cars
3. A good job (not just your husband but you too!)
4. A good education (not just your husband, but you should finish college)
5. Financially stable: able to start a college fund (prepaid tuition costs about $80 a month right now), able to put away for the baby (we are putting away $100 for baby expenses while I am pregnant), able to afford an emergency (can you pay for a broken down car AND a doctors visit for the baby?)
6. Out of debt. No maxed out credit cards, minimal loans, etc
7. Stable marriage. I would suggest marriage counseling to make sure you are on the same path in your beliefs.

Answer 5

You have definitely given this a lot of thought and I can tell that you see how difficult raising a child can be. It sounds like you are ready. From experience, I think you need to make sure your husband is also ready, not just saying yes to make you happy. It may only take a few months for him to be ready, it make take a few years. Five years from now, he may become resentful and decide that marriage just isn't worth it anymore. Possibly going to a parenting class together will help you make the decision to have children now or wait a little while. Good luck. Children are such a blessing and make your life so much fun!

Answer 6

You want him to be happy when you announce your pregnancy, so don't conceive until he's ready. Talk to him, he probably has really good reasons why he doesn't feel ready. They may be something you can help him achieve, or maybe he just needs time to pass. My hubby was always saying how he wanted to be a dad by the time he was 30, but when I actually told him I was ready to become a mum, he freaked out and made me wait another 6 months! (He's now 31 and our daughter is 11 weeks old :)
He might just want to enjoy life a bit before making such a huge commitment. So, go along and enjoy yourselves. Eat at cafes, sleep in, go on holidays and do the things you probably won't after you have kids. You've got quite a few years before you need to worry about your biological clock. Read books about the negative side of motherhood and see if it can put you off (studying childbed fever at uni really cured my cluckiness for a good few months!) If it doesn't, use your time to improve your skills so you'll be even more prepared with life skills to teach your future children. I'm learning to sew and grow my own veggies so I'll be able to teach my daughter. Collect children's storybooks. That way you'll feel like you're working towards your goal, even if your hubby needs you to wait a while.

Answer 7

I think you both have to want a baby! Just because he is willing to compromise and give you what you want doesn't mean HE really is ready or wanting...I am sure he just wants to spend more time with just you, before you have children, which is more than full time, its forever everyday, all day!!!

We had our first son after only being married a year...(living together for 2 years and knowing each other/dating 6 years...) at ages 23 and myself 22! Though I do not regret having my son I do wish that I had not been so hasty, and could have taken a few more romantic vacations with my hubby alone...Like you my hubby was just compromising for my want of a baby...I wish he had wanted it as bad as I did, it would have made the whole process more fun... Now he is the one bugging me for more kids!! We can't wait to begin TTC this fall.

To let strangers on the internet make your decisions or to value their opinions higher than your hubby's or your own gut feelings, isn't what you need to be doing...Instead of worrying what everyone else is doing or what their opinion is what do you think is best for your relationship??? Would waiting another year or so be so bad? Maybe you only want a baby right now because of your friend’s situations??? Maybe you feel the need to prove that you could do it better?

It sounds like you are on your way to being a good mom, but you are still first and foremost a wife, who's duty it is to honor her husband! Just keep talking with him and you will know when the time is right without caring what we here think!

Good luck!

Answer 8

I think since u see our friend having a baby u want one to it happend to all women and I fetl the same way when i got married. i got pregnant 3 month after we got married and we now know each other for 13 years now but the thing is u feel really and want a baby. it should be up to u and our husband and u dont need some person that u dont know tell u want to do with our life u do what feel right in our heart and our man.and when u do it will be perfect . if may have it's up and down but it is wroth it in the end so good luck

Answer 9

that is a question for your spouse and you to decide. Not a bunch of strangers who know nothing about you. A word of advice from a dad, A baby changes everything in a relationship. No more spontaneous traveling or nights out, everything will have to be planned around the baby. Sleepless nights,sick babies, poor sex life. All need to be considered. At 20, you have plenty of time. Enjoy your life for a few more years, give things time to see what your relationship is going to do. Just cuz your friends make the decision too young, doesn't mean you have too. When you and your spouse are traveling, camping and doing things that they no longer can, just smile and be happy. The baby can wait for a while.
Good luck

Answer 10

You're still young, you have time - a child is a big responsibility, and while you may be ready for it - it can be a lot of work. I have a 4 year old son, and while he is autistic, he is the joy of my life. My wife wants to have another one, but I'm not sure we're ready for another child mentally, physically, or financially.

Having a child is a big decision - it might not be a bad idea to wait just another year or so to make sure you and your husband are not going to run into any major life style changes, and to make sure you have enough money set aside in case of emergencies.

Take some time to buy all the items you need for a baby, get it all together, and then go ahead if you're ready. It never hurts to be prepared ahead of time (my wife and I have bought all new baby stuff ourselves, still in boxes and ready to go once she becomes pregnant again).