In a nutshell, i was with my boss and antoher coworker. we were supposed to have a celebration on monday and we then decided we would do it on tuesday. He kept asking this other coworker if he thought people would mind (the other coworker (like myself) should his head like 'ofcourse not' b/c it really wasn't a big deal. So I said with a smile and very professoinal "Why would you imagine they would mind?" Well, it was a genuine question, then he looked at me and said "Its a consensus, Mary, it's called a consnensus." He said it in such a condescending tone i felt red and embarrased. What would you do. Thanks to everyone for their guidance.
2007-06-26 07:21:16 · 22 answers · asked by Hope 4 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment ➔ Other - Careers & Employment
Tinderno - "borderline"...you must be on medication. I have EVERY right to ask legitimate questions without being spoken to disrespectfully. PS - No one is 'ABOVE' me except for God so save your wiki articles for someone doing a research paper!
2007-06-26 08:01:57 · update #1
I'm sorry your employer embarrassed you. I have had this happen to me on occasion. I work for a doctor and once he pulled us all aside and started telling us about a new product that could help us all loose our "belly fat." We were all so embarrassed. None of us look like Nicole Ritchie, but we are by no means obese!
I would ignore the comment and move on. Or, if you are comfortable enough, confront him. Tell him you were not sure why anyone would mind and were even more confused as to why he was so rude to you.
Take care, and keep your head held high. I find your question completely legitimate!
As a final note, DO NOT listen to these other people telling you to apologize. You are a human being and have just as much right to freedom of speech as the highest paid CEO! You have an even bigger right to hold on to your dignity! DO NOT apologize for being who you are!!!!! You are NOT some 1950's secretary snapping gum behind a typewriter. You are a strong, bright, modern woman who can hold her own!
Gosh, Sparkles, you have p*ssed me off!!!!!!
2007-06-26 07:29:44 · answer #1 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
The next time you are alone with the boss, tell him that his reaction to you hurt your feelings, and you were wondering what set him off because you didn't know your question was offensive, you were genuinely was asking a question.
Also you can just drop it.
Also you can tell him in private that you are sorry because you didn't know he would respond that way and maybe this will spark a conversation about the situation and then you can ask him why he responded in this way.
In any case pre plan what you will do so you don't provoke any other undesired behavior, because you don't want this to explode into something else. If you make a big deal about it, you boss might not like you and that can create a hostile work invironment. I was not there so I can only give you options. If it wasn't that big of a deal, you might want to be the better person and forget about it. Sometimes in business, you have to let things roll off your back, because it is a learning environment as well as a work invironment. Also work should limit social events for this simple reason, you are only to be friendly with them, you cannot be friends with them. Keep it professional.
2007-06-26 07:32:27 · answer #2 · answered by NANCY J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Refusing to actually state what your complaint is about is juvenile and passive-aggressive. What did this guy actually say to you? If it was legitimate criticism (pointing out a misspelling, asking you to redo a report or commenting on you being late) then you have no right to get this upset, even if he said it in front of coworkers. Honestly, from the tone of this post, I suspect you are over-reacting to legitimate criticism. Even if it was genuinely out of line, you need to explain why it bothers you, not just assume he knows. Maybe he doesn't see anything wrong with his behavior- even if it was something clearly out of line, like commenting on your appearance in an inappropriate way, he might have thought it was a compliment or a joke. You need to be a little more upfront about things and not play mind-games. He's your boss, not your boyfriend, there's no reason to play "If you don't know why I'm upset I'm not going to tell you".
2016-04-01 05:34:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you didn't properly understand the conversation to me. Either that, or you didn't put enough detail in. Because for him to have said 'it was a consensus' he must have mentioned earlier that everybody seemed to mind. Did you jump into the middle of the conversation, or were you distracted? He was probably feeling insecure anyway, because people were upset about having the celebration moved, and then you would go in and ask a question, which he would've taken as smart-assed. He may have assumed that you were insulting him. *shrug* Without the exact wording, or a better, more concise and clear description, this is all I can give you.
2007-06-26 07:42:33 · answer #4 · answered by gilgamesh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have borderline personality disorder? For real, I am not being an jerk. No one else would go there.
Also, do you think you should have your bosses job? or do you think you are the one who should have been in charge?
Also, when you boss doesn't like you, you really need to consider making some changes in the workplace. Start with you perspective it will help you change you attitude, then give everyone above you more respect than you have been giving them.
You have to get out of the hole with him right now, start filling it in.
Or just quit and bad mouth the company. That is what most borderline people do.
2007-06-26 07:41:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if this has not happened before I would brush it off. Bosses have bad days too and sometimes we do not know how we sound or come off to others. You don't want to broach the subject with the boss if it has not happened before b.c you would come out sounding "over sensitive" and even "unprofessional" ..it sounds like a minor incident. However, do document everything and keep it with you (a safe place) if it's a recurring thing.
2007-06-26 07:26:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
A boss that needs to knock employees down in front of others......
has just opened the door for the same treatment, by me, and hes not going to like the timing, or subject.....
nor the lasting effects, everytime I get the urge............even w/ no backbone,
he'll want to fight one day.......
2007-06-26 07:45:17 · answer #7 · answered by DennistheMenace 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he did DOESN'T reflect upon you, but upon HIM. He was the rude one. You simply asked a question. He showed himself to be a condescending idiot. People like him are too dumb to realize they make themselves look bad by such behavior.
2007-06-26 07:30:10 · answer #8 · answered by clarity 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take a note from the book of George Costanza and slip your boss a Mickey during the celebration party. Then have all the fun you want.
2007-06-26 07:25:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Personally I think that is one of the "Fake" things bosses do. Act like they are interrested in your feelings. They aren't interrested in how the workers feel. They neccessarilly have to be interrested in how the business is running. But I think all the call me by my first name stuff and I care about your feelings is a bunch of *****.
2007-06-26 07:27:48 · answer #10 · answered by stick man 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋