A question about expensive weddings?

Question

Any thoughts on why so many newly married folks run up the bills early on by having very expensive ceremonies? They are beautiful, to be sure, and I have been fortunate to have been invited to a few of them - great times, every one of them. But wouldn't it be better to save that money for a house down payment, a beautiful honeymoon, a second car that will be needed, a little savings account for those inevitable emergencies? Sincerely, I'm not trying to take away from the beauty of the ceremony nor underrate its importance. Also, a gathering of special friends and relatives is a wonderful way to celebrate this lovely event. BUT, it can be done a lot cheaper. Whaddya' think?

Answer 1

I think you have to take into account that some people CAN afford it. Secondly, I want to have a big wedding; in fact, I'd sacrifice a honeymoon for one. I've never been a vacation person. I have my own car and so does my Fi. We have money in the bank for a down payment.

You shouldn't judge. It's not your place. If in 5 years, they are drive one car and renting an apartment; why do you care. You were at the wedding, sucking up the free booze and food.

No offense and not to sound elitist. But, I find some people on here live in a bubble. I don't understand that some of you people have never met successful, young people who already have a home, 2 cars and can still afford a 25K wedding. It's possible I've seen it.

Answer 2

Let's face it, there are a lot of people getting married who just aren't responsible. If the money wasn't used for a wedding it would be used for something silly, like a big screen TV. Your question goes beyond wedding expenses and asks the question of why aren't people mature with their finances?

Having a wedding with our friends and family in a nice location where they can witness our union and celebrate afterwards is very important to us and eloping is NOT an option, but we're not about to go broke over it. We are cutting every corner possible to stay within budget and still have the wedding we want. Also, in order to stay within a reasonable budget, we are taking our honeymoon next year, when we have enough miles for a free plane ticket to Europe.

We both make decent money, each have a car, and we're saving towards a down payment on a house (I live in Southern California where the average home price is $500,000. Even though the housing market is crashing, we still need to wait for prices to drop further in order to live in a decent area). So there are people like me who can do both.

Also, there are a lot of people who don't know that weddings could be a great deal cheaper. There are a lot of resources out there that saves people a ton of money, but because the industry is about scamming people daily, it's hard to find these things out.

Answer 3

I agree, why spend all that money?
My wedding was small and I do mean small. We both come form large families. We kept it simple though. 100 guests and this was including some of out very close personal friends and excluding family memners which we don't even see or talk to very much. I know it must be strange for soem people but that what we wanted. Why invite people who haven't shered with you your joys and sorrows thoughout your courtship. WHY invite part of your family who doesn't even know the bride or the groom. That is just a waste of time and money I don't need to be spending on people I hardly know. One other thing NO KIDS!!!!!!!!!!
A wedding is not for kids. Although there are couples that are getting married who havechildren and that is perfectly aceptable but other people's kis HELL NO.
1) They start screaming and hoolering during the ceremony or just when you're about to say your vows some kid starts screaming.
2) they're running around in the reception and during the toast or anytime.
3) either they break soemthing or they distroy the wedding cake.
I don't know I just hate kids at parties.
That is not the place for them. It's and adult event not a circus!

Answer 4

Well, a couple getting married is usually mature and independent, and these days pay for their own wedding. So they decide the type of wedding they want according to what they want and can afford. For us, we wanted all our family and friends to be there to witness our vows, and celebrate with us, so we hosted 200 guests - for a traditional ceremony, dinner, dance and full open bar.
Dude, it's not the ceremony which costs lots, just the opposite. It's not even the booze, which actually surprised us how inexpensive it really was, we thought it would be more. It's the catering costs, gratuities and corkage which add up to be the priciest.
However, it's all worth it, because we wanted to just be surrounded by everyone who loved and cared for us - a great start for our wonderful marriage together. We chose not to have a honeymoon, because we wanted to put that money toward the wedding celebration itself. We just wanted to start the MARRIAGE!!!

Answer 5

I agree, we are getting married in a few weeks; and though we didn't spend tens of thousands...I feel it was difficult not to spend more than we should have. We really cut corners w/ a lot of things, and I know we haven't spent half as much as our friends did last year (open bar, country club reception, 5 course meal, lots of extras I can't remember lol;)...but I am sure we are going to have just as good a time. Maybe even better because it will be more laid back. At the end of our wedding planning run, however, it is hard not to try and do what you want w/in budget, but you are right many times it can be too much.

Answer 6

I totally agree with you. There is no need to go to so much extravagance for one day. There are ways to have a beautiful wedding and reception without it costing a fortune. I think there are just too many brides, and yes it is usually the bride who wants all the formality, who dont think about the fact that they might need money for some emergency after they get married. I wonder how many brides have spent so much money and then later had an emergency and regretted spending so much. I am having a nice wedding and reception and spending less than $3000. Even if I had unlimited funds, I could not bring myself to spend an exhorbitant amount of money for one day.

Answer 7

I am in total agreement with you. I have been married twice. My first wedding was outrageously extravagant. My parents wanted to go all out, they even put a second mortgage on their home. It was a one year engagement and it all just went out of control. In the end it was an absolutely beautiful wedding. But after the honeymoon my new husband and I were in debt up to our you know whats. We could barely pay the rent and the rest of the bills. And for all that expense the marriage did not even work out. My second wedding was by the justice of the piece with friends and family by our side. We had a potluck dinner at the park. And it was much less stressful. We went on two have two kids and eventually bought a modest home and two cars.

Answer 8

I don't get this one, either. I mean, the only thing I can think of is that a big, fancy wedding is a status symbol. It gets built up as the most important day of your life, and of course this society places such a huge emphasis on money, so the more lavish and expensive the occasion, the more "important" it is.

For me, the single most important thing about my wedding day was the fact that I was marrying the love of my life. Everything else was just details. If the cake wasn't there, or the weather didn't cooperate, or the food items didn't work out, or the photographer snapped lousy pictures, that didn't matter one little bit to me. I wish more couples could learn to embrace that attitude - it would help them stay a LOT more sane...

Answer 9

I agree, it would be better to save money for a house downpayment etc. However, people in American culture have been conditioned to buy on credit and pay later. They feel *entitled* to the big house, expensive car, cool electronics, and "dream wedding" NOW. Many people lack the financial sophistication to see the outrageous compounding of credit card debt. Not to mention we live in such a "me culture" as in "it's my day, I'll do whatever I want to do."

Combine that with young women as a group being conditioned to believe they *need* a dream wedding. This conditioning comes from the media reporting on celebrity weddings, all the bridal magazines, pushy wedding consultants, and weddings of friends and relatives. It's no wonder the average wedding cost these days is ~ $28,000.

Answer 10

My wedding wasn't super expensive but it was huge...part of it was that we both have huge families and its sort of always been an unspoken rule in both of our families that we'll have big weddings...family is a huge part of our lives and that tradition was important.

Additionally, we are both savers. My now husband bought a house a year before we got married (he was 24 at that time), we both had vehicles, we went on an amazing honeymoon...so sometimes its just because young people actually do have the money (or maybe the family pays for or helps with costs).