He didn't even bother to tell me til last ngiht and the party is in a week, there will be several stripper and I am very uncomfortable with that.. I used to work with strippers when I was a waitress so I know what goes on and I know its not just with the groom either... I think its wrong to allow a stranger to rub her nude body all over you (and thats just the mild stuff) if you are in a relationship with someone else... He says I'm overreacting but it bothers me that he just blows off my feelings about it..
2007-06-26 05:18:08 · 18 answers · asked by angeleyes94070 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
to the question of whether I have asked him not to go... NO I have not , first the bachelor party is out of state, and second I know he has to be there , but I told him I was uncomfortable with it and he blew me off as having "ISSUES" I dont' care if he goes to the party but I think he can dismiss himself when she arrives or show up after she is done... He feels that because he's friends fiance is ok with it I'm being unreasonable..
2007-06-26 05:34:14 · update #1
To the girl who thinks that all they do is strip and only for the groom I know for a fact that at most parties it goes alot further than that there are games that involves lots of very sexually compromising positions I used to work with these girls at their second job and they had no problem telling me what they did...
2007-06-26 05:37:08 · update #2
I don't think you are overreacting at all, and frankly whoever thinks you are is in poor taste to think that ever man deserves some strange woman stripping for him before he ties the knot. It's the epitome of bad taste and completely blows etiquette out the window. I'm afraid that there won't be much you can do to change his mind. Just have a serious talk about how it makes you feel. Trust only goes so far. I love my boyfriend and I know he would never touch another woman, but that doesn't mean I want him around a stripper... that kind of undermines a healthy relationship... Tell him how you feel, and don't let it go til he understands. If he brushes you off, perhaps you should reevaluate your relationship. It IS a big deal (especially from the experiences you've mentioned).
2007-06-26 06:21:21 · answer #1 · answered by dolce 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think the issue is really that he didn't tell you about it, knowing all along (apparently accurately) that you would be as upset as you are. That indicates greater problems at work, also that he is disregarding how you feel.
Do NOT make this an issue about a bachelor party itself. It's his friend that is getting married, and whether YOU think it's wrong to have strippers there or not, that is an issue between him and his fiance. Not you.
You can suggest that he not host the party at his place, but rather hold it elsewhere. That would bring more luck than asking him not to go at all or change the plans.
I've been to a few parties where there have been strippers. Would I get upset if my fiance were going to a bachelorette party where there would be male strippers? No, I don't believe I would, because I trust her. It's as easy as that.
Just because he's attending the party does not mean he has no chances to refuse a dance either; try asking him not to participate in anything involving inappropriate contact.
2007-06-26 05:35:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I might be dissatisfied for certain however fully grasp why he's going. This men bachelor celebration will handiest occur as soon as and also you men will likely be equipped to spend years of anniversarys in combination someday! He is taking you out the weekend earlier than so it isn't as despite the fact that he forgot or is not doing whatever for you in any respect. Show him that you're cool with it and he's going to feel you're the finest!!!
2016-09-05 08:41:09 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that if he goes to that party then he can forget about me. If he really cared for you then he would not want to have other nude girls dancing all over him. Thats so uncalled for. Or you can play it 2 ways-- Give the bride a bachlorette party and make it twice as big as theyrs. Have male and female strippers there( I know it sounds funny but it will work) then theyr little party won't have anything on yours becuz a man had rather see female strippers at a bachlorette party than anything. When him and his friends find out they will definitly be at your party just to see the show. Good luck.
2007-06-26 05:39:01 · answer #4 · answered by Kimberly M 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You ARE overreacting. I don't mean to be harsh, but it's true. Those strippers are there to entertain....that's USUALLY it, and they are generally staples at a bachelor party, and focus most on the groom. Don't be so insecure about it. It's really just harmless fun. I've never been to a bachelorette party where there weren't male strippers, and my fiance doesn't mind, as long as he doesn't have to see the pictures.
I said "Usually" all they do is strip....most dancers have some morals you know. And, it seems like this is more of a trust and insecurity issue than one of morals. So what if a dancer comes on to your guy? Don't you trust him to push her away?
2007-06-26 05:31:15 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You have every reason to be upset about it. He should have told you before to make sure that you two didn't have any plans together. Also he should be a little respectful of your feelings. Are you asking him to not go or are you just wanting him to respect you and not doing anything with the strippers?
2007-06-26 05:30:06 · answer #6 · answered by Just some chick 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you're absolutely in the right. To your boyfriend, I offer this quote from the very wise Phoebe Buffay: "A stripper at a bachelor party...That's so cliche...You should hire a magician!!!"
You don't want him to want to see another girl naked, and he should be able to understand that. If it's his best friend and he absolutely has to be the one to host the party, he should at least be apologetic to you and be telling you that it's not something he wants to do, but something he has to do. And that should be the truth :)
Good luck :)
p.s. I'll own up to giving the thumbs down to Joe, since when I came back to see the other answers we all had thumbs down except for him, so I figure he must have done it. But even if he didn't, it's clear he didn't even bother reading the question.
2007-06-26 05:25:10 · answer #7 · answered by Lea A 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. How would he feel if you hosted a party with naked men rubbing themselves all over you? Somehow, I doubt he'd think that was fine. Just explain how you feel and hopefully, he will respect that. If not, you might need to rethink your relationship with him.
2007-06-26 05:31:55 · answer #8 · answered by Shelley L 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if something is important to you and he cannot understand it, thats a problem. whats more of a problem is that something bothers you and he apparently doesnt respect you and your feelings enough to do something about it. if he did respect you, he 1, would have planned a party minus the strippers and 2, would have changed plans once he realized how upset you are about it. if hes this unconcerned/uncaring/disrespectful/etc about something like this, what will he be like when something even more 'important' comes along? will he be any different or will he do what he wants anyway, since apparently your thoughts and feelings matter very little?
2007-06-26 05:29:43 · answer #9 · answered by jen 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think you need to learn to trust your boyfriend. a bachelor party is a rite of passage. if you are so uptight over this.....
I think you have insecurity, jealously issues.
"pick and chose morality" is difficult.
"I can have sex w/o marriage BUT my boyfriend should not attend a bachelor party where there will be strippers"
some would state emphatically that one should not be undressed in front of anyone else at any time unless they are married
2007-06-26 05:36:25 · answer #10 · answered by creole lady 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋