Mormons/polygamists please help...?

Question

There is no intent to be offensive with this question. It is a simple matter of curiosity. Please don't use this thread to bash others who feel differently than you.

I am a viewer (not sure if I'm a fan yet) of the HBO series Big Love. First off, I am interested in the perspective of a true Mormon. Is it accurate? Offensive? Or maybe just too off the wall? I would love to hear all of your opinions.

Second, I also need your help with some issues brought up in the show. I don't understand why the folks at the compound are always so scared of being "outed" to the police. I know that pologomy is illegal in all states. But what is to stop people from living that lifestyle? Legally, I could have one wife, but have several other women with whom I shared my home. I know this would offend many people, but I just don't see how I would be breaking the law?

Answer 1

Just admit it....your interest is not at all in the religion; it is in the number of women you could potentially have sex with.

Answer 2

First, TAN MAN, stop your rediculious answers and questions!!! We are all sick of hearing from you!!

K.. now that I've said that, let me answer your question. I have only seen Big Love once, and from what I saw, I was offended by it. But, that's just me. It is not even close to a real portrayal of how it would work. It really is off the wall, and not at all what the church believes.

I know many people have said that we don't practice polygamy anymore, and they are very right! The groups that do have no affiliation with the church. They are totally separate and in no way reflect any of the things we stand for.

If the law found out about someone practicing polygamy, they would be in big trouble. There was a story here not long ago, about a polygamist family. It was found out that the father was abusing the children, and the mother was allowing it. They had a ton of kids, and they weren't being properly cared for. I'm trying to find the story now, so I can post it for you. Can't find the one I want.. oh well. I'll post other things for you to read.

We don't believe in living with someone and having sex with them outside of marriage, so to me, having more then one person you are sleeping or living with is wrong. But that's just my opinion. You can do what you want.

If you were just living with them, and you hadn't gone through a marriage ceremony, then it wouldn't be illegal. But, if you went through a ceremony, with a signed, legal marriage certificate for them, then it would be illegal.

Answer 3

The show Big Love is off in a lot of ways, but true in some others. First of all, make sure you understand that it is in no way supposed to represent how the LDS (Mormon) church views polygamy. The LDS church does not practice that anymore, but there are many break offs from the church who do practice it. Big Love is supposed to be based on one or more of those groups.

Most polygamists live in fear of being found out for other reasons other than the mere fact they are polygamists. There are thousands of polygamists in the US and even Canada and many of them live it very openly. If they are in fear of the police, it's for another reason.

Big Love is a show for ratings and in many ways, it's so inaccurate, it's funny (at least to me, but I know more about it than some people--we won't go there). Don't base your opinion on a group of people because of what a TV show says.

Answer 4

The VAST MAJORITY of Mormons do not believe in, condone, or practice polygamy. Period. .

I am a Big Love fan! The Compound is a fictional place based on real compounds. There are factions of Mormons who consider themselves "orthodox" or "fundamentalist" who still believe polygamy is the lifestyle God has ordained through the prophecies. A federal raid on a compound would result in casualties by the seperation of families. Children would be taken into state custody. I can understand their fear.

There are MANY polygamist households across the country - most of them are NOT Mormon. Most of them are just like you say - one man married to one woman with other women (or men) sharing the home with no legal marriage.

I really do think it is accurate in some ways - Big Love - that is. What they are trying to portray is a poly family living the normal life as a family. From everything I have read about the show, they go to great lengths to make sure what they portray is not insulting to the Mormon faith - but that they portray if with respect.

To me, Big Love is an amazing show - and it is one that I hope gets a few more seasons.

Answer 5

I am not Mormon, however I have done a lot of study on the matter. Mormons do not associate with polygamists. They are a separate section. I have seen the show once and it is different. If they are "married" then it is illegal because of all kinds of mess ups can occur, but I don't think that they are just all living together or else there would be no need to be "outed" by the cops.

Answer 6

Someone responded that they wished you would get more Mormons answering this question, but I think the reason there aren't more is because most Mormons haven't a clue if the show Big Love is anything like real polygamist life. This is because they don't practice it, haven't had any exposure to it, and haven't thought about it. The real desire would be that actual polygamists respond, but I doubt that will be happenng.

As to just living together, you are right, no issues if they do that. It does get complicated when children enter the picture.

Answer 7

I'm not a regular watcher of Big Love, but I am LDS (Mormon). Mainstream LDS people do not practice polygamy, and haven't since the 1800's. It's a very common misconception that present-day Mormons still have multiple wives. I think a lot of people see the show Big Love, and they automatically think "Mormons", but as I said, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hasn't allowed polygamy since the 1800's and anyone found doing so today is excommunicated.

There is a splinter group that practices polygamy, but they are not recognized as members of the LDS church, and the two groups shouldn't be associated with one another.

So to answer your question, I don't think the family from Big Love is meant to portray a Mormon family (at least, it shouldn't). Just a polygamous one.

Answer 8

Have no idea about that show,and don't care to see it either. Polygamy is practiced by all sorts of persons, even like your self,what ever religion one may be.It is a choice one makes.So because one sees the word polygamy,the definition is Not LDS,it goes for the persons practicing it.If you can't understand from so many answers given in many of these questions (Polygamy is no longer practiced by the LDS Mormons) than you have a problem.No one is saying it didn't happen but everyone is telling you it is NOT practiced anymore.Now if hear that it is practiced,you need to get correct information and direct your question to those people if you want answers from them.If you want accurate info go to their church sites and attend church too.You will get your questions personally answered.

Answer 9

I'm Mormon. I've never seen the show. But true Mormons, aka members of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints do not practice polygamy, and haven't for over a hundred years. Those who do are promptly excommunicated. It is not tolerated - period.
Sorry, this is a very sensitive subject for most Mormons, as it is just something we don't do anymore. When we did, it wasn't against the law to do so. When it became against the law, we stopped. Those who were already in plural marriages expected that they could continue being married to their wives, but just not take any more, and no one who wasn't already in a plural marriage could begin. But the federal government didn't think so and the Mormon War broke out, and many of our dear leaders of the time went into hiding because they didn't want to leave their families.
I am offended by Big Love even though I've never seen it, because I've heard the way the story was introduced it was as if these people were members of our church, and they just never would be. We have enough image problems right now without the help of HBO.

Second issue.
While you're right that a man could marry one and live with as many as he/they wanted to. That's not how it works. Or at least that's not how I would think it would work. The man believes with every fiber of his being that God Himself wants him to MARRY these women. There is a sacredness associated with marriage. It's not like it is in the world, where people get married at the drop of a hat, and by the time that hat hits the floor they want a divorce. Having sexual relations with a woman who is not your wife is wrong, morally, and in the sight of God. When God is at the forefront of your life, to the extent it is with Mormons, and especially Mormons who back in the day were in plural marriages, to do anything that can be ordained by God but isn't or wasn't is tantamount to leaving your faith. It is taken EXTREMELY serious. So the fear of being "outed" would be very real. It was very real when polygamy was ruled illegal and those who were already in plural marriages were told to not only stop, but pick which wife they wanted to be married to and stop caring for the physical and emotional needs of their other wives and families and formally divorce themselves from the others. Think about it, here you are doing what you believe is right, and ordained of God, and there is no law against it. Then one day you learn that a law was passed and you could either go into hiding but visit your families in secret and stay true to your word to care and love and provide for them, or you could turn your back on them in every since of the word, divorce the Mother's of your children, never have anything to do with them, even though you still loved them dearly, and stay in the same town as your now divorced families. It was an excruciatingly difficult decision for them to make. And in some states there is a thing called Common Law Marriage, where if you say you are married to Jill to anyone (including Jill) then you are married to them, in which case if you say that to more than one woman, you are a polygamist and the police can hunt you down as they did the Mormon polygamists of old.

EDIT: One more thing. Our Prophet recently said that those who call non-members Mormon Fundamentalists are incorrect. There are no Mormon Fundamentalists. The name of the church these people belong to has no affiliation with our church which is commonly called the Mormon church (which he also expressed disdain in it being called that by popular culture).

Answer 10

You wouldn't be breaking the law if you had other women simply living with you and doing what you all wanted behind closed doors. The illegal part comes when they have actual weddings for each one and different "mothers" go to pta meetings and there are multiple marriage certificates and such. The fact is that they are not simply living together. Another major point of contention is forced marriages and underage marriages. These are some of the "old ways" that some mormons continue to live by and the government is trying to cull.

Answer 11

It's just a television show. It's designed wholly to 'tantalize' viewers into thinking they're going to watch something immoral and naughty. "Sex and the City" has a similar theme, and the "Sopranos" glorifies the mob.

The bottom line isn't that it's an expose' of anything, or even a semi-documentary, it's simply about getting you to watch advertising with 'entertainment' thrown between commercial breaks