no more breastfeeding please!!?

Question

ok ive been breastfeeding my son since he was born. nw hes 19 months and he wont let go. i try to stop night feedings which by the way he wakes up about 4 times.i cant even lay down in bed without him wanting to breastfeed..i just need some advise.. i stay at home with him, i dont really have friends and i still havnet slept for hours straight . im about to have a breakdown.. the minute he sees im trying to cut it off. hes gluued to me...pleae! anything. advise?

Answer 1

Having nursed two kids to 22 months (the youngest is still going strong), I understand where you're coming from. It sounds like your son is going through a clingy phase, which can be so frustrating! We recently night-weaned my little one, and we did have some crying fits for a few nights. My husband cuddled and rocked her when she woke in the night - the key was for her not to see me. Now she just knows we don't nurse at night. Also, remember that you don't have to nurse him every time he asks. 19 months is old enough to understand "No, Mommy is too tired to nurse now." He won't like it, you will probably get a tantrum, but I'm sure you're used to those by now. Distraction, redirection, and bribery are all acceptable alternatives in our house when I've just had enough. Also, by this age your son should be learning good nursing behavior - he needs to treat you gently, no biting, no pulling on the other breast, ask politely to nurse, etc. Don't be afraid to end the nursing session and put him down if he's being rough with you.

It's hard to find support and understanding of extended breastfeeding, which you can see from some of the answers here. I'd highly recommend checking out the La Leche League or Kellymom.com for advice on gentle weaning techniques, and for support of extended breastfeeding if you want to continue.

Answer 2

Gir, l you are just going to have to say no and stand firm. This will only be the first of many times you are going to have to deny your son something he wants. And this sounds like it is necessary for your health. Change your bra (maybe a back clasp) and wear clothing that makes breast feeding more difficult. I know it is hard, I had to do the same thing. It will only take a few days though and then life will be so much better for you. The same with the waking up at nite. You have to let him cry. Sorry to say it and it will break your heart but it's got to be done.
NOW, I see others saying give him a bottle or formula. He needs neither at almost 2 he should be on a cup and drinking whole milk. You also need to find some friends, for your mental health. Go to church, a local park, I have even met other mother's at McDonalds. If you have any reliable relatives (even the father) you need to get at least 1 good nites sleep. If the dad is going to keep him in your home I would suggest a hotel if you can afford it.

Answer 3

I know what the problem is, you need to quit letting your son talk with the World Health Organization who advocates to breastfeed for a minimum of 2 years.

Seriously, though, I think a lot of these answerers sound pretty ignorant about breastfeeding. First, it is completely natural and normal for your son to still want to breastfeed. It is just not commonly done in our society. He doesn't magically stop wanting it at one. Don't feel ashamed, you didn't do anything wrong, quite the contrary.

Second of all, he is not "addicted". That is so silly. Comparing breastfeeding a toddler to smoking! That woman should be ashamed of herself. Have you ever seen a grown man, cracked out on the side of the street moaning, "give me more breast milk, I need it!" It is a developmental stage that all children grow out of.

It is supposed to be a mutual agreement, however. If you desperately want to discontinue, I would reccomend you start by discouraging it. When out and about say "no" and then distract. Offer juice/snack instead. Don't offer bottles/formula, as others have suggested. The busier they are, the less they think to bf. Keep access to the breasts minimal. Try having daddy put your son to bed. Say things like, "lets just snuggle" when laying down. It will be hard, and one day in the near future you will realize that it has been days since his last feeding, and it will be over.

Good Luck

Answer 4

You know you want to stop and why. Sounds like he doesn't know this, yet. You can tell him "Mommy's owie, so you can't have any mommy milk, now." or "Mommy's busy, so you can't have any mommy milk, now" (or whatever your reason is for wanting him to not nurse at that moment).

And, help him break the habit. It is a habit for him. Something he enjoys doing, makes him feel safe, loved & secure. Offer him an alternative (much like a smoker has a carrot instead of another cigarette when they're trying to quit). He has a need that he wants filled when he nurses - hunger, love, security. Help him learn how to deal with that need in a different way. Give him a toy, a sippy cup, a bottle, a drink of water, a snack, a hug, whatever.

Answer 5

try with one feed a day to start with. before my son goes to bed he has 30 minutes wind down time, we either watch tv or read a story and have a cuddle, he would either have breastmilk or milk in a beaker when he was weaning. try a warm glass of milk and may be put a spoon of hot chocolate in it. then i would try the morning feed. if you can get him to leave those two then the nighht time ones will be easier, thats how we did it, i know it sounds back to front but it worked. dont make a big deal of it, just make the night time feed different, just pick one a day when hes accepted that move on to the next one etc etc. plus doing it slowly will help with engorgement too. make sure he isnt hungry when he goes bed . it is just comfort. cut out any day time naps, hell be too tired to wake for milk honestly!

Answer 6

I sympathize with you. Your child has in a way become addicted and must go through withdrawl. It will not be easy on either of you for the next several days, but you know you can't breastfeed forever and it will have to stop sometime. You are doing what you need to do for your child...what is best for him. That should help you refuse giving him the breast even though he cries for it. It will only be bad until he finally realizes no means no and it should get better in a few days. Make sure you still take time to cuddle with him so he gets the closeness that comes along with breastfeeding. The longer you wait the harder it will be. Best of luck.

Answer 7

Has your son even TRIED something other than your breast milk? Typically if you can get them to try something like chocolate milk or juice, he will probably like that more than your breast milk.

STOP with the night feedings, you are coddling him. Also, during the day, don't let him milk off of you. He'll get hungry soon enough and should eat what you put in front of him. A bottle nipple is similar to yours, why not pump for a while and get him used to drinking out of a bottle. After he is weaned off of you, stop pumping, and put something else in the bottle.

Also, you could have your husband get up in the middle of the night and go to him. Your child will eventually learn that he is not going to get fed anymore. So, he loses some sleep. Eventually he'll get through it.

The biggest thing is, you just have to put your foot down. Be strong and get it done.

Answer 8

My mother told me something once that made me very
angry. She told me that my son was not getting enough
nutrient from nursing. I had breast fed my children and never
had this problem. But she was right. He was always hungry.
I had nursed for a year and a half and that was enough. I
was becoming a rag and was tired all of the time. time to
wean. A reccomended formula is a good start, and a little later a little rice cereal in it is good , if his appitite has not
abated. Like any child, he will not want to. But you are the
parent, A firm and loving wean is a good thing. Remember
nursing is Not supposed to be a negative experience.

Answer 9

Wow..1st of all I have to congratulate you for nursing that long. Is he only nursing at night or through the day too? I'd break the day feeding before night ones. Then gradually reduce the nighttime ones. At that age he can't be that hungry that many times during the night. It's more of a comfort issue and he knows you'll give in to it. It probably won't be easy and lots of tears involved but if you don't give into it at night he'll get the idea eventually. I would just do it slowly but be firm about it.

Answer 10

there are a few things you can try...

breast feed him and half way through try giving the bottle, especially if he's sleepy!

try just going straight to a cup, and breastfeed just at night, then after he's used to the cup you can stop the night feeds!

this one's a bit harsh, i never did it myself but my friend who's daughter refused anything but breast feeding at 18 months put marmite on her boob - bit wierd and messy but it did work, not sure if you should try that one though!

try expressing at first, he may not like the taste of formular or cow's milk and that could be the reason why he wont take it, offer him brest milk in a cup or bottle!

also i found the dr. Brown's bottles were the best when weaning, try using one of them when you try the swap half way through breastfeeding.

hold him close to you, the same as when you breastfeed him so he doesn't feel like your rejecting him! but wear lots of layers of clothes so a. he won't smell the milk and b. he can't get to it as easy!

good luck, i hope one of these works