Why don't some mothers teach their sons to respect women?

Question

I work in a truck stop and yesterday I had a very bad experience with a customer. Some old redneck jerk made some very lewd remarks to me, and when I got rude with him, he acted as though he had done nothing wrong and that I should have taken whatever he dished out at me. Unfortunately, this isn't the only time some man has thought that he had the right to sexually harass me. It makes me wonder, though, what kind of mothers these men had. I don't wish to blame everything on the parents, since adults are responsible for their own behavior, regardless of their upbringing. However, it seems to me that as women, mothers in particular would make it a point to try to teach their sons to have respect for women. Apparently, though, this isn't always the case. What gives?

Answer 1

I would think all women would try to get their son's to respect women. That's where the father comes into play. If a son was raised in a home where the father abused [physically, sexually, or emotionally] the mother or clearly disrespected her then the child will do the same. I would say that is somewhat the mother's fault for staying with the man but sometimes the mother's father didn't respect her mother and the cycle continues.

It has a whole heck of a lot to do with the father though. I think women can try and try to explain to their kids that you don't whistle at women, you don't treat women like animals, you don't hit others, but if Dad does those things then it shows that it IS okay.

Sometimes mothers AREN'T respectable to begin with. If your mother dressed in whorish clothes, didn't give a care in the world about you, or slept around with other men then that gives the example that all women are like that. If she allowed men to treat her without any respect then that is what the son will learn.

I hope this helps.

Answer 2

There are a number of reasons they could be that way. It could be anything from how the mothers were treated or how they treated their sons. Sometimes the mothers don't have any respect for themselves, and the boys learn by example. But then again you can't always blame someone else's behavior on their upbringing. When it comes down to it, a person is ultimately responsible for their own actions. You can only ride the "I didn't know any better, that is not how I was brought up" train for so long. I think people just use that as an excuse to act in socially unacceptable ways and project the blame elsewhere.

Answer 3

Bravo for sticking up for yourself. I used to be a waitress at a truck stop and I'll tell you what. Everything from being smacked on the rear to flowers folded out of napkins. For the most part, people have respect inside of them, it just doesn't always prevail. I still work in the trucking industry today (in an office though) and I must say you have to learn how to deal with people like that in general. My boys have been taught to say thank you, please, yes ma'am, no ma'am etc. That's the way I was taught. I think it goes by how much respect a mother has for herself too. I guarantee you my boys would regret the day they were rude to a lady. (and please don't think I beat them..I don't) Unfortunately I do believe it's becoming more of an exception than a rule. Hang in there. Just to let you know a stranger, who's mother apparently taught to respect women, reported the man who slapped me on the behind and he lost his job. I didn't even know about it until several yrs later.

Answer 4

It may not be the parents... Nurture is not the only influence on a person... Peers and other friends have a significant impact on how people behave... Otherwise teenagers would follow their parents guidence without question... The problem with this generation is no one wants to take responsibility for their own decisions... Everyone wants to blame someone else for their own actions... You question follow along this train of thought... You are finding someone else to blame because you do not recognize that people have the ability to make decisions on their own.... Someone had to cause this person to be rude... That is not the case... The bottom line is he saw someone do this and he decided to give it a try since no one corrected that person... He has probably done it for years and perhaps without his parents knowledge.... You were the first to confront him and hold him accountable, even though you quickly slipped back into the blame game...

Answer 5

I have a seven year old son, and I have taught him these same values. Ladies first, open the door, etc. Whether society expects it or not, I do and I teach my son that it is the way to treat women (for the sake of myself as his mother, his two sisters, and his future wife and daughters). I also get the amazed reaction from people. They think it is wonderful. It should not and need not be something so unordinary. I wish everyone would teach their sons these behaviors.

Answer 6

Actually ive heard this 1st hand from a mother at a support group.... she said she wanted a girl and didnt really care what her sons did b/c she was upset b/c she didnt get a girl!

Not saying all parents are like this but what in the world kind of parenting is that? You get what you get and you should treat them to be respectful to both genders and all races.

sorry that u was harassed some men are that way.

Answer 7

Only to a certain extent can mothers teach sons respect for women. Men and women learned more by example. How do the men in their lives treat women in general and in different settings? In my opinion, fathers and other male figures are the major influences in how males learn to treat women.

Answer 8

Hi Tangerine,

I can't speak for mothers. But I am teaching my son to respect women. Each day he thanks his teachers for the "great day" and if I have an incident report on him, he is to walk up to the teacher and personally apologize for his behavior. There are other examples of all the ways a parent needs t/b conscious of the way their child interacts and speaks with people of all ages.

It starts in the home, but also needs reinforcement in school and in the overall community. In fact, by your standing up and speaking up to this rude person, maybe his eyes were opened and he finally realized how his behavior looks to other people.

Good luck in the food industry. You are going to run into people from all walks of life and will encounter people whose parents did a great job all the way down to no job at all.

Good luck to you ~

Answer 9

Excellent question-
Sometimes though you may find that the women that
are raising their sons and daughters do not even have
respect for themselves. The children are raised with
seeing how in some cases that they take abuse
(verbal/physical) either from their husbands or their
boyfriends, and their children in turn will mimic
that type of behavior. Note ( 2Timothy 3:1-5)

Answer 10

All I can say is that there alot of ill-mannered men and women. Idon't know what makes some men think they aren't out of line making lewd cmments in public and with someone they don't even know. He should have apologized even if he meant it as a joke.