Cheating boyfriend?? What do i do? Help please!!?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for many mos now. We seem to have the perfect relationship. Long story short, I found out that while I was on vacation his ex bought a ticket and flew down to see him for 4 days. He swears that he never had sex with her. He says he wouldnt have anyway(sure) but that she was on her period. She says that they did have sex once, the first day. He has sworn on everything important..his life,his parents, my life he even said that as a Marine he swears he never had sex with her. He said that he is willing to take any tests to prove he didnt. To show me how much he loved and trusted me he gave me a key to his apt and called her in front of me at 3am to tell her that it was a mistake that she came down and not to do it again. The other issue is even if they didnt have sex, she still was here for 4 days,he said that she kissed him and he didnt stop her. He told me he is inlove with me and could marry me and so scared of losing me. Im in love with him.Im so Confused

Answer 1

Slept with his ex sex. insist yer bisexual and then blow his entire platoon

Answer 2

Leave him. If you stay with him he will know that all he has to do is feed you a line & you will stay with him.

There are no tests to prove that he did or did not sleep with anyone. No real man would have his ex visiting him, let alone without you actually being there. Any guy can swear on everything in the world, but if he was an honest guy he wouldn't have to! Just think of this: if he's cheating on you it wouldn't be any stretch for him to "swear" to you.

Think of this also: if he called his ex to tell her it was a mistake she came down, doesn't that kind of insinuate that he invited her down to see you? Isn't it kind of coincidental that she "somehow" knew that you were going to be out of town when she came to see him? It sounds like he's been talking to her since before the trip & they planned the visit. If she was trying to break the two of you up & lie about them having sex, I would think that she would have said that the two of them had sex the entire 4 days, not just the first day. It all sounds too fishy.

Answer 3

He's probably telling the truth. You can trust the ex a lot less than you can trust your boyfriend. You can bet that she lied. She's smart, but not smarter than I am.

We know that the boyfriend admits to the kissing, and that the ex admits to the kissing. So we can take that to be fact.

Why would she be kissing him in the first place, if it was just a friendly visit? Because she has something up her sleeve.

Enter the girlfriend, you. Your boyfriend says he didn't sleep with her, the ex says that he did.

She's trying to mess you guys up because she wants back in. And she's willing to do anything to achieve that goal. Even lie.

Answer 4

ok hi. first thing first i believe your boyfriend. because even if he did cheat i assure you he would not do it again. because for him to do all that and say that even marriage came up in the conversation it means that he does truly love you. and if it is his ex that told you that they had sex most of the time they lie because she knows that by telling you that you would not trust him that much and she can make her move on him again. ok so at least trust him and believe what he says but if u get a sign that he is cheating talk to him about your feelings and try to work things out so that you would know that he is telling the truth. and do not ever accept the fact that his ex is coming by him let that never happen again. and make sure he tells you if he spoke to her about it or not. and not because he did that call at 3am in front of you mean that that is the truth. because my boyfriend have another girlfriend and i know about her and she stays by him sometimes because she got pregnant before me and him started to deal. and he does be lying to her and telling her that me and him have nothing and that he would never talk to me again and even when i am on the phone he does be quarreling with me for her to think that there is nothing and as he leave he does apologize to me for behaving that way. i mean i know what i am doing is stupid but i am in love. but anyway don't be fooled ok. the game is crazy out there. Trust me when i say that. but all that i can really say is trust your boy friend and i can see from what your saying that he is gonna be more faithful and devoted to u from now on.

Answer 5

well of course he said he didn't have sex with her. but i could say I'm a super model but that doesn't make it true! but this doesn't sound like she just showed up on his door step and you just happened to be out of town. this sounds like they made plans knowing that you were going to be out of town. and if it was a surprise visit why didn't he call and tell you the moment she showed up? it sounds like he really messed up and now hes just trying to cover his tracks. i would make him call her with you listening in and her not knowing and have them talk about what they did when she was there. i mean go as far as make him ask her if the sex was good. even if they didn't have sex. if they didn't then her response will be along the lines of "what are you talking about?" or "yea it was great!" but you cant bring this up and then leave him time to get in contact with her to tell her that you are making him do this. she must have no idea. also tell him that he can no longer have any contact with her no calls,letters,email,etc. you may never find out the details of what went on those four days. but if he truly loves you he will have no problem with any of this. and if he does you know he has something to hide.

Answer 6

It is all about trust. If you do not trust him don't continue the relationship because this will continue to cause problems for you. You need to go with your gut feeling and your intuition on this one. Ask yourself if you had to buy a ticket to fly to see an ex-boyfriend what do you think your intentions would be? Why would he spend any time with an ex girlfriend while you are gone?

Answer 7

If you are both in love, you should find a way to work through this.

If he has learned how much this hurts you, he may never want to do it again. However, it may take a long time before you trust him again.. He will need to understand that, and live with that, and want to earn your trust.

Answer 8

You can either ditch the cheating you know what or firgive and forget and make that his only chance next time it's out the door. Stick to your guns. maybe you should get some counselling together and work through both of your insecurities way before marriage is even an option. i do know one thing you cannot forgive him and bring it up every day it just doesn't work that way its not healthy

Answer 9

You thank God its only been a few months of your life with this guy. He still has a thing for his ex, and it was more important to him than you and your feelings. What will it take? Her getting prego or you contracting an STD from this female?

p.s I've never seen a period stop a really horny guy, especially if it's the only time they had. Sorry, sweety.

Answer 10

If this guy is cheating on you DUMP HIM NOW. You or any other woman does not need to stand for that crap. Have some self respect and move on and leave that A$$-wipe. You are young and these things sound worse then they really are. Trust me and dump this fellow. If he loved you unconditionally he would have spent NO TIME with his ex.

Answer 11

I was on your boyfriend's side (innocent until proven guilty)until you wrote this: "She still was here for 4 days,he said that she kissed him and he didnt stop her."

Dump him. Even if a kiss is all that happened, I guarantee you that you can do better. If he was so in love with you, why did he even have her over at all? Why did he even think of doing it while you were away? That is ludicrous. His loss, not yours. Good luck!