What can she do?

Question

My mother wants to get a divorce from my father. My father and his family for the past 14 years have been verbally and emotionally abusive towards me and my mother. Recently my mother went and spoke to a lawyer about how she can go about with a divorce. The lawyer told her that if she did plan on getting one,then she might end up with no money. See, my mother has no college education and her income is much lower than what my father makes. There is still a mortgage on the house, so she wouldnt be able to afford that. She says the whole process of divorce also costs a lot of money and she would be stuck and end up with nothing. I told her that I'd split the rent with her if she got an apart.but she said no.I'm moving out for college, and my father is planing on moving in to my room. I dont see why money is such a big deal and why she cant just start over. She's still young and she has plenty of time to build a happy life. I know if she stays here with my father, then his family and him

will continue to torture her. I'm not so sure if my mother is making a fake excuse about the money?or is that she is too weak and manipulated by my dad? Anyone know anything about divorces and what you end up with? Is it that bad to start all over again? I feel like my mother is gonna get old and waist a good 10yrs of her life to be happy before she's too old. I dunno know anymore... any advice? And I dont speak to my father bc I been put thru 10 years of abuse from him and he's not a good father.

I think you guys are right. She's scared of actually getting a divorce because she's been in this abusive relationship for 25yrs. Its sad to say and watch how my mom gets treated, but i guess she's accustomed to it. I have begged her so many times to leave him but she always falls back. She's weak! and i guess I'm moving out bc this whole process is making me very angry and emotionally drowning. I guess I have to move on with my life and let my mom fall on her own and realise her own mistake. I can't help someone if she is so weak herself. I just hope she opens her eyes before she's too old and its too late.

Answer 1

Of course you don't understand, someone has always paid your bills.

Your mother is afraid of the future, of the unknown. As awful as her life is, its a known awful.

She needs to talk to a better lawyer, a good one would have told her that the house can be sold and the mortgage paid off. She should contact an abused women's shelter and see if they have recommendations or some sort of support for her. You might be able to do that for her. Many abused women cannot help themselves.

Her greatest fear is that she can't support herself. She should see if her job has educational benefits and take advantage of them. In the long run she needs to decide if life would be better with or without him. No amount of financial security is worth living a life that is a living hell.

Answer 2

your mother does need to get a divorce and she can sell the house and split the money with your father and tell her to get a different lawyer ,this one did not give her good advice . Being as she is unemployed your father would have to pay court costs and for her lawyer as well . first off ,after the divorce she could still get a job if she looks. I know it is not easy but I have done it . I had two little boys and was not working either but I learned how to take care of myself and your mom will too . she needs to see a different lawyer . good luck and please relay this info to her .

Answer 3

yes, divorce is expensive. but, with the right attorney it should goe fairly smooth. if she does decide to divorce him they will put the house up for sale and split the amount it is sold for. does she have minor children in the home? if she does she would get support for them. also, if your mother did not work for a while she may be able to get spousal support until she can get back on her feet again. i think the 1st thing she should do to gain back some of her Independence is seek a therapist to help her get her self esteem up. good luck.

Answer 4

if ur mom is getting a divorce then she would get 50% of everythign, the sale of the house, all possessions, he would pay alimony and child support to her. ur mom can afford a dvicore she just seems not strong enough to go through it and be on her own for good. when she is ready to stop being abused she will do it.t here are plenty of men out there who would take good care of her.

Answer 5

she needs to get a divorce. perhaps she can enroll herself in a community college and get an associates degree and then get a good job and continue school to get a bachelors. the sky is the limit for her as long as she dedicates herself to making a change for the better. she need not stay in an abusive relationship for the sake of money.

Answer 6

Honey, you need to pray and seek Jesus! I've been through that same thing but when we all finally gave in and invited Jesus in to our lives, my mother and father worked things out. We are all now an extremely happy family. We go to church, spend quality time together and there's no abuse. Trust me, I know how you feel, but there's a way around a divorce if they're willing at all to try. Just pray really hard and get focused on Jesus, He'll take care of you! God Bless!