Should I compromise my wedding to suit others?

Question

I have a color scheme planned for my wedding, and in it, I want the guys to wear chocolate brown suits. Is it wrong of me to want them to wear brown and not be willing to settle for them in black? Or should I just alter my plans to accommodate the fact that no one owns a brown suit and it's an expense they can't all afford?

My colors are Chocolate Brown, Latte & Royal Blue.... just the fyi and it's a night wedding (7pm)

I can find appropriate suits to BUY for $150 or less

Answer 1

If you and your fiance have your hearts set on those colours then why change them? They are really nice together, it's certainly not wrong of you to have a "vision" of what you want your day to look like. Stick with the plan, if you cannot get suits in brown then think of an alternative, but only change the colours because you and your fiance want to, not for anything else.

Answer 2

It depends. I notice there are a lot of women here who say it's your day so do what you want. BAD ANSWER. It's NOT just YOUR day. Don't make the mistake of thinking that you are somehow entitled to have your wedding exactly your way. Your wedding is not all about you -- it's also about the man you're marrying, so both of you have to work together and be reasonable.

The big question is: What's available? Is there a tuxedo rental shop or men's clothier near you where the guys could rent the suits or get them at a decent price? If not, is there another way that the guys could incorporate that chocolate brown color (maybe white tuxedos and chocolate brown bow ties and cummerbunds?)

You indicated a new suit is an expense they can't all afford, so bear in mind if you stick to your guns you may have a guy or two that bow out of the wedding because of it. I'm betting that won't go over well with your hubby-to-be. So unless you're willing to stump up the cash for the guys who can't afford that chocolate brown suit, you should try to come up with something else that everyone can live with.

Trust me on this one -- you need to be flexible. If you insist that everything be "just so" you're going to be disappointed because I can chisel it in stone for you that SOMETHING is not going to go exactly right. Don't put so much emphasis on the nuts and bolts of the wedding ceremony and reception that you forget why you're doing this in the first place. The wedding is one day. The marriage is for the rest of your life.

Answer 3

I recently changed my colors from chocolate brown and light blue to black and light blue, sorta for the same reason, except that I realized that I didn't want the guys in brown suits...I just don't like the idea...I'd rather they wear a charcoal or black suit...I don't know if that helps, and i also don't know how far along in the planning you are to make such a change a reality. I had just started looking for bridesmaid dresses when I made this change....I know the original colors are very pretty and "in" right now, but in the end, i thought brown suits were sorta yucky.
Also, do you have a fashion/clothing district downtown in the city you live in? ( I live in Los Angeles) and we do- point = less expensive suits....
Good Luck with your decision!!

Answer 4

This is just my experience, but my husband and I bought him a suit for our wedding and we also purchased the groomsmens suits. They were less than $200 at JC Penney and they can easily be worn again since they are classic but basic black suits (we both hated the idea of tuxes- they seem to Prom like to me). Brown might be pushing it. I have never seen anyone in this day and age wear a brown suit. I don't recall even seeing them when we went suit shopping.

Why not have the guys rent tuxes with the blue color you mentioned as the accents for the vest and tie.

Have the girls wear brown dresses (I know they make those I saw them at Davids Bridal) with a latte colored accent like a ribbon around the waste or something.

If you know they can't afford it and it isn't practical to have them purchase a $200 brown suit they will never wear again, then yes you are being a little unfair. Just because it is your wedding doesn't mean you have the right to have people flush their money. You have the right to request certain things, but don't expect everyone to give in to your wants.

Answer 5

Although the color scheme sounds beautiful, you should take into account the fact that no one will be able to afford a new suit. If it is really something you want to do, you should think about offsetting the cost by paying for 1/2 or 3/4 of the price ... I'm sure they would be more willing to work with you if you offered to pay a portion.

Answer 6

The solution to this question will depend on many things. What are their budgets? Most groomsmen know that if they're asked to be in a wedding, they're going to have to rent a tux. If they can't afford it, then maybe you can compromise and ask them to rent a brown vest and tie. I compromised a lot of things in my wedding to accomodate other people. I didn't think much of it until the day of the wedding and I saw that almost nothing was exactly how I wanted it. It's your day and everyone knows that.

Oh and I've seen chocolate brown and blue together. It will be beautiful.

Answer 7

OK - I am going to throw out a few things to ponder:
It's your wedding! It's your special day - and it should be the way you want it.
Having said that, most big weddings are filled with compromises. You may have to change many of your plans and ideas, unless you have an unlimited budget.
Depending on the number of male attendants, perhaps you could pay for them to rent chocolate brown tuxedos.
A good way to decide if this is something you can't do without, is to picture yourself looking at your wedding pictures 20 years from now. Will it be important to you then that their suits were brown, or that they were all with you on your special day?
Congratulations on your wedding, and I wish you and your groom-to-be every happiness.

Answer 8

Brown suits are not things you can rent. I am assuming you are just talking about the wedding party.

Maybe do some legwork and find the suits, and give some money towards it. This way you know they will all match. I know it is different for women but men usually do not pay more than $100 to rent a tux.

Also you need to consider the shoes.

It is an unusual request so it will require more work.

Answer 9

Most of the time, I would say NEVER compromise your wedding to please other people but, in this case I think maybe you should.

Even if they already had a brown suit [I think I've seen like two in my entire life], the browns wouldn't match each other and it'd look back Why don't you put the boys in black and your girls in brown? It's easier to find brown dresses that don't cost a ton of money and I've been told that black matches anything.... But, I'm not sure how the black and brown would go together.

Answer 10

Dress suits can be rented just as tuxes can.

Also, every man should own a decent suit - and suits are on sale right now - not terribly expensive.

I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful.

That said, just because it's your wedding doesn't give you license to become ugly - what is now called a bridezilla. You really don't want your fiance to see what you can be like under pressure - and decide that he doesn't want to be chained to a monster. He could decide that you might not be the girl for him after all.

Ease up a little.