My girlfriend is slowly gaining weight. I don't like it. She has gained 50 pounds over two years. I have told her a few times we need to work out together and we need to get in shape together but she is not improving, she is getting worse. What do I do?
2007-06-26 01:27:19 · 28 answers · asked by HoboJones 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do you love her?
You can't make her exercise she has to want to do that on her own.. Go ahead and exercise and when she sees that you are feeling better she might join you. Really play it up on how you feel and how much you like the way you are looking. May be she'll join you when she sees the benefits of exercising. What ever you do don't tell her that you want her to exercise because she is getting fat. That will make her mad and not want to do it at all.
2007-06-26 01:34:27 · answer #1 · answered by SAS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I don't like it". "I told her a few times". "She is not improving". "She is getting worse".
So far, I have not read anything that would support the fact that you are approaching this weight issue positively. It sounds self-centered on you and your wants and needs.
Awwwww. You don't like it. BIG DEAL! It does not matter what YOU like...it is her body! If she feels there is no need, leave her alone!
You don't mention her age. You don't mention her frame size or her height. You don't mention if she is taking medications. All these are factors that need to be addressed, as they can contribute to the problem.
What does her doctor say? What do her parents or her best friends say? Most importantly, what does SHE say? Maybe she does not see a problem.
Just because YOU think she is too heavy doesn't nessisarily mean that there should be a concern. Society is too obsessed with weight and what people look like on the outside.
She has to want to loose weight for herself, not because some rude boyfriend is body image obessed and wants her to loose weight for HIS ego trip.
If you were anything of a man, you would stop barking at her, and be more encouraging. Me, Me, ME. We know what you want...what does she want?
Maybe she does not want to work out! Not everyone is into the gym thing. Besides, if she is as heavy as you say she is, maybe she does not want to draw attention to herself in a gym setting.
Have you tried to encourage (NOT ORDER) her into trying new, active things together? Are you even willing to try something new that interest her and would promote weight loss?
There are other things you should discuss with her as a partener (instead of thinking about what pleases you). Are there any underlying issues? Is she having health concerns? Is she depressed? Is her life going the way she wants? Is she unhappy with the relationship or work?
IS she actually trying and the weight is not coming off fast enough for YOU?
Unless it is affecting her health and HER OWN self esteme, back off dude!
If I read your post wrong, then please forgive me and disregard what I have written.
If the fat/skinny issue is really a hinderence to your position in the relationship, either figure a way to think outside of yourself to actually help your girlfriend -or- get yourself another girlfriend whose body image will support your ego, and let your current girlfriend find a supporting guy that can accept her the way she is (or at least encourage her to seek help) and see her for the beautiful creature she is inside!
2007-06-26 01:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are ther any stressors that have brought on the weight gain? What changed in her life? If she is facing the smae problems she will have a tough time dealing with taking the weight off. She has probably noticed the change herself. She might be embarassed or unsure of how to change things. I would say to you that you need to be understanding. If you push to hard she might not listen. Instead lead by example, talk about health vs weight loss, take romantic walks together. Make it your thing. Get a dog. Start home cooking healthy foods. Just be sensative and supportive.
2007-06-26 01:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by amber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
50 lbs in two years sends up a red flag...what is wrong? She definitely needs to see her physician and see what's going on. Maybe it's her thyroid or something else. Women hate gaining weight so I would definitely be wondering what has changed. Please encourage her to go get a physical and let the doctor find out what's going on. Once that's corrected then you can start by taking walks, and as she starts building alittle stamina then she may be willing to start doing more exercise.
2007-06-26 01:35:29 · answer #4 · answered by LAL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do, until she decides that it is a problem it will remain a problem that she can not even see. She has to be the one to do something about it, just love and support her, keep encouraging her, ask her to go for a walk about 7:30 p.m after your last meal for the night, every night and keep asking till she one day says yes and go and go without her she will eventually join you -maybe not everynight but she will you could also buy her a Jenny Creg memebership only if you know in your heart she really does want to loss weight other wise she will be offended.
2007-06-26 01:34:34 · answer #5 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either love her for what she is, or you don't. Talk to her about health issues that can come from weight gain and try to talk her into working out with you again. If it doesn't work, you need to either decide that it's irrelevant, or move on before you break her heart over this.
2007-06-26 01:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you both gone to the gym ?
if so is she gaining as in gaining fat or gaining
muscle weight ?
perhaps she needs to change her eating habits , maybe what she needs is weight watchers
but you should love her no matter what weight she is , just warn her that it's NOT healthy to be overweight & do it in a nice & caring way so that she does not get mad & walk out on you
good luck
2007-06-26 01:31:16 · answer #7 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothings bad about gaining weight. But overweight is not good for her health. If your concern about her health just talk to her about this problem and ask her why she wants to gain her weight. But be careful because it's a sensitive thing for women. If you say it because you just don't like it and not because of you worry about her health, she'll think that you don't really love her. GOOD LUCK^^
2007-06-26 01:47:59 · answer #8 · answered by g1rL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Making rude comments is not going to help, but you have a right to express yourself in a constructive way. Maybe go on walks together, do you eat healthy? I had a bf that made me food that was really fattening all of the time, and I put on aabout 15 pounds, but he never said anything about it - I just couldn't stand it anymore myself. Good luck, please stay positive, though!
2007-06-26 01:32:50 · answer #9 · answered by so Fresh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, tough. If she lives with you I'd start buying better foods in the house. I'd start working out without her as well. If she still hasn't gotten the hint I'd flat out tell her. Honey, I've notice a slight increase in you weight, either the food or me. If she doesn't like that then oh well, move on, because obviously you don't love her. When I first met my husband I didn't even notice he was over weight, now that he's lost 45lbs because of diabetes I was like wow you were kinda fat honey. So love IS blind. So since you don't love her, tell her the food or you. If she wants to make it work longer she'll chose you.
2007-06-26 01:33:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋