And now she is 4 mths pregnant. Last night on her way home from work she was hit by a drunk driver and lost the baby. She don't know about the baby yet. My wife was awake fore about 10 minutes this morning and went back to sleep again the Dr. says she will be fine. But how do I tell her or should I let the Dr. tell we lost the baby? I came home for a shower and stilll have no idea what to say to her when she wakes up.
2007-06-26 00:57:33 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I asked about the baby last night and all the DR. said was I am sorry but the baby didn't make it.
2007-06-26 01:10:23 · update #1
I am very sorry for your lose. You should be the one to tell her, not the Doctor. Just make sure the DR. is close by just in case he is needed. Just be honest with her. And you both may need family counseling to help you get though this ordeal. Talking about the baby may help as well, and help with depression. When my sister lose her baby she blamed herself and became suicidal. My prayers are with you and your family. From the way it sounds when you do tell her you must expect the worst. She may completely lose it.
2007-06-26 06:19:44 · answer #1 · answered by sue h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is it that she doesn't know about the baby and you do? Did the doctor's tell you while she was unconsious..? I would let the Dr. tell her about the baby, that might be easier and then maybe see a therapist about the accident/baby? Just be supportive and help her... She's lucky to be alive and just think that she is able to get pregnant. That's wonderful and should help ease things! * I know that this isn't easy, but there's a reason this happened- work through it together and hopefully soon you will have the baby you've always wanted ! I hope this helps.. I'm sorry for your loss, but happy your wife is going to ok.. Take care and be well....
2007-06-26 08:07:16 · answer #2 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow, I am so sorry for you loss. My Mom miscarried after waiting 18 years to conceive, and while a loss is traumatic for anyone, it is even more so for someone who has waited so long.
I know personally I would rather hear about the loss from my husband, make sure the Dr. is near and that she can be sedated for the shock.
Hopefully in your state the driver will be charged with manslaughter, it won't make it easier for you now, but later will give you a sense of justice.
Before talking to your wife, ask her ob-gyn the chances of conceiving again, usually once you finally do get pregnant it is easier the next try..find a support group in your area, she will need someone who understands when she comes home...((hugs)) and prayers go out to you both.
PS..chances are when she is more aware the first thing she will ask about is the baby, try to do this as soon as possible before she is able to ask..
2007-06-26 08:07:13 · answer #3 · answered by kat k 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry for your loss. I would want to hear that type of news from my husband, not the doctor. Please tell her, tell her as soon as possible. She needs to grieve, you need to grieve.
My husband and I lost a baby boy when I was 20 weeks along, it was very hard. It took me a long time to realize that this happened to him as well. I was very dependent on my Mom for a lot of things. I felt as though I was like 5 years old again. I just knew that she would give the comfort that I needed. Not that my husband didn't, he just worked away all week.
So, please tell her. Let her know that you are hurting too. That you are there for her no matter what.
One thing that you may need to stress to her is it was not her fault. I felt for the longest time that it was my fault that our baby died. It took awhile for me to realize that God had his reasons and I was very mad for a long time. But with the love of family and friends and my Husband I came to realize that there was no one to be mad at.
You may also want to check if your hospital has a bereavement group for families that have lost babies. This helped me a lot with the emotions that I felt during that peroid.
Just remember to be there for her, love each other and never let each other forget that. Love is what is going to hold you together during this hardship.
I will pray for you and your family. May God Bless You. Take care.
2007-06-26 09:47:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your lost. I believe the news should come from you, only you and your wife know who it feels to be trying for 13 yrs. to have a baby. Your wife might shut down for a while, she will probably need someone to talk to. Both of ya'll need to be there for each other. Remember God does thing we don't understand at that moment, later on you and your wife will understand why your baby went to heaven early. I will keep your wife, you and your baby in my prayers. Good luck!!!!
2007-06-26 09:55:12 · answer #5 · answered by slickrick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. Personally if i was in your position i would want to hear it from you not the Dr. It will be hard, with many tears. But it will start the grieving process. Make sure you two keep open talk going, it is to easy to close up and deal with it your self, that leads to depression. I'll pray for your family.
2007-06-26 08:53:29 · answer #6 · answered by norielorie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry for your loss. It makes me sick that people drink and drive without so much as a passing thought of who they might hurt with their carelessness.
I would personally want to hear the devastating news from my husband. The doctor should be nearby though to help console and sedate if needed. You and your wife have already been through so much together..she needs to hear the news from you.
My sincerest condolences to you and your wife. God bless you both.
2007-06-26 10:09:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God Bless You. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Just know that all things happen for a reason. God has something in store for you just be patient.
You should tell your wife. I think it will help her to hear it from you and to have you by her side when she gets the news.
If it's too hard for you to tell her just make sure you're right at her side when she gets the news.
Again God Bless You and you are in my prayes.
2007-06-26 09:51:30 · answer #8 · answered by CHAE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth. Tell her as soon as she is ready for it (out of intensive care), but tell her soon. The longer you wait, the harder it will be (not that this will in any way be easy). Be there for her to grieve with. Eventually she will remember that you lost a baby too.
2007-06-26 08:07:50 · answer #9 · answered by taliswoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am SO sorry. God works in mysterious ways that i just don't understant sometimes. i guess it's not my place to understand some things.
she might be fine physically ; what about emotionally? OMG im so sorry for your loss. i can almost feel the emptiness and numbness (about to cry...........yup, here come the tears........)
you need to be the one to tell her. not the doctor. put yourself in her position. she wanted a child with YOU not the doctor. this is a time for the 2 of you to be alone and feel what needs to be felt and deal with it YOUR way. the doctor can't get too emotionally involved.
2007-06-26 08:07:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋