I mean seriously, I'm the kind of guy that gets girls heads turning but I never seem to find the right kind of girl to have a decent relationship. I know I am intelligent, kind, talented, attractive, funny, wealthy and everything the right girl looks for in a guy. But, for some reason, I just end up having a lot of beautiful female friends, but none I am able to go that extra inch to be more than just friends. I've been told it's because I am nice. Why is that a problem? After all, I'm the one they go to when their boyfriends treat them horribly. I take them out to dinner and a movie and I make them feel better. I tell them beautiful things about themselves. Is that why I don't get anywhere? Should I stop doing that? And I've also been told I should at least act like I'm a jerk so the ladies would think I'm attractive? What is the whole deal behind that? I don't want to do that because that would mean I'm just being fake. I hope someone can give me a good explanation.
2007-06-26 00:30:24 · 16 answers · asked by Joe T 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
admittedly girls do like the bad boys who can keep them on their toes, but this only lasts for so long before they get hurt, then they look for a nice guy cos they realise they can get treated better so be patient the right girl will come looking for you.
2007-06-26 00:39:30 · answer #1 · answered by Invincible! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One possibility: You keep going for unavailable women. Not unavailable to anyone. Unavailable to you. And you pick them out because of this. You have issues with intimacy and rejection. You like to be the great guy contrasted to the jerks your female friends are going out with. You can keep the dream alive of how great your relationship will be one day when you can finally connect. This is preferable to trying a real relationship and finding out some things about yourself that you don't want to see. You are just as good a guy as any one out there. But no better and no worse. You want to be better but a part of you believes you're worse. And going into a real relationship and finding this out is too terrifying. So this is the solution. Have relationships with girls that are, on the surface, not romantic. You can get some of your intimacy needs filled by hanging out with these women and you can't get rejected because your not dating. But the problem is you get rejected all the time. You just don't admitt it. You hang out, you get hopefull, and then you're painfully reminded that she's sexual with someone else. But that doesn't matter right? Because you're just friends. It's a terrible thing to do to yourself over and over again.
The idea that girls don't go for you becuase you treat them well is just not true. There are plenty of girls out there who value themselves enough to be comfortable with guys who treat them with respect. You just don't seem to be attracted to any of those girls. You need to find out why.
I would recommend therapy to start dealing with your intimacy issues. This is what I did. I'm not making the stuff up that I just told you. I lived it. It takes a long time to heal these things but it's better than just being stuck where you're at.
2007-06-26 07:46:11 · answer #2 · answered by LG 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Immature women want a guy that is mean and treats them bad. But a mature women will know a good man is and will do anything to keep a good man. So continue to be a good man and you will get you just reward.
As for taking them out and buing them dinner and a movie, just stay at home and talk it over watch a movie at your place and pop popcorn there. Trust me when you stop looking for Miss right she will appear.
2007-06-26 00:43:34 · answer #3 · answered by maverick29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well buddy you have two options here: a. just keep on doing what you're doing and never have gfs' except for the ones you're not interested in, or b. BE A JERK, don't be so kind, and you'll have girls falling at your feet. REMEMBER: people always want what they can't have. even girls.
It's true, bc i had a bf once that sounded identical to you, (the way he acted, the things he did and what not) and i was just not attracted or into him at all; so i left him for a guy who likes to treat me like ****, but he was also the love of my life bc he put up that bad-boy, jerk-like attitude and it made me want him that much more.
2007-06-26 00:42:40 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Chick 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We are you just have to find the right one. Girls go through the same phases as guys where they dont' know what they want and they're trying everything but the obvious choice. Just be patient you'll find a good one.
2007-06-26 01:58:52 · answer #5 · answered by urstruly8604 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sailing in the same boat. However someone said you can be cocky without being bad. A little arrogance may look good. Shows your confidence.
My problem is i m being hit by wrong girls -married women. Now my morals are not so low. They certainly are off limits.
Good luck to you
2007-06-26 00:54:51 · answer #6 · answered by bebe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont no
but girls do go for the bad one and i have no idea y
wht u can do is instead of being nice be more flirty
u no tease um
and that is not being bad but will get u around some where cheers
2007-06-26 00:38:42 · answer #7 · answered by ghost13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sup Joe!
You indeed are a nice guy.
Number one, instead of just being funny, you have to be cocky and funny.
Go to google and search David D'angelo. He will send you regular emails. But, please, do not take any negative advantage of any lady, after going thru David's school.
2007-06-26 00:40:27 · answer #8 · answered by J_humor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know why but ladies are always attracted to bad guys who will hurt them and make them cry, i dont think its because u r nice, i believe they r not right and i believe again the right girl will come ur way very soon.
2007-06-26 00:41:29 · answer #9 · answered by pOOhPhAT 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you just havent found the right girl come to tennessee there are girlsslooking for a nice guy like you, guy shortage here especially nice ones, jdo not be fake wait till one comes along ,
2007-06-26 00:38:34 · answer #10 · answered by freeflow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋