BELIEVE it or not , these are REAL 911 Calls!
Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
2007-06-25 22:48:52 · 12 answers · asked by ? 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
omg, that was just so totally hilarious!!!!!i wish i could star you a couple of times more..it was really funny..
2007-06-26 00:46:31 · answer #1 · answered by Lamya 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid
omg 2 punchlines in a row this is hilarious lol
2007-06-25 22:55:58 · answer #2 · answered by caroline 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
really good ones!!\a star for u
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.
"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'”
2007-06-25 23:09:30 · answer #3 · answered by gangrekalve k 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha, they are good. I'd just pass them off to be real. My brother always says "don't ruin a good story, by keeping to the facts'
Well done, a star for you lol
2007-06-25 22:56:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It takes all kinds. We had a girl call up the other day wanting a ride to a pharmacy.
2007-06-25 22:56:25 · answer #5 · answered by tigger 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Excellent..
2007-06-25 23:07:43 · answer #6 · answered by Because I Said So 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I love your jokes, man. LOL, I needed that.
2007-06-25 22:53:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
omg thats real?? people not that silly i hope lol haha
2007-06-25 23:08:35 · answer #8 · answered by ausblue 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
those men and/or women are dumb
2007-06-26 01:10:55 · answer #9 · answered by jamie_gundaya 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
lol that is too funny!!!!!
2007-06-25 22:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋