My bf is insecure that he was married, had 2 kids. He thinks that I am not ok with that, even though i CONSTANTLY tell him that I like our relationship, even w/ his baggage. What can I do/say that'll make him believe me?
2007-06-25 21:44:57 · 11 answers · asked by smile 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I started this reply twice..I didn't want to be negative but I decided to ask you this anyway....Do you think he wants out of your relationship and could be using that as an excuse? Just wondering....some men get uptight if they have too many responsibilities. Especially if they have to pay child support.
You shouldn't have to keep telling him you accept him for what he is and his history has nothing to do with the two of you....
Does he get the children on the weekends.? You can show him you can get along with them easily and enjoy being one big family, like do something together on the weekends. That would be proof. The bottom line is to be honest with one another not to hold back what you are thinking. In this world today..people are married many times during their lifetime...so he is not alone....I wish you both luck and hopefully everything will work out for everyone concerned especially the children they are the most important in any family. Mama Jazzy Geri
2007-06-25 22:01:39 · answer #1 · answered by Mama Jazzy Geri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, stop referring to them as baggage as he may get the wrong message. Ask him WHY he thinks that, because if he's saying it he's either a little paranoid or picking up on some non-verbals. Ask him what his expectations are in terms of your relationship with them. He may be over-analysing things and by the answers to these 2 questions, you can do the math and fix the problem.
2007-06-25 21:51:45 · answer #2 · answered by Sugar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all don't call the kids *baggage.* That's usually a term for something heavy and burdensome. Next go out with him and his kids and just have a really good time. Make your *family* dates fun.
My hubby is a step parent to my 4 kids. He loves them and they have alot of fun together.
Just relax, let him air his insecurities and tell him you can understand why he feels that way.
2007-06-25 21:51:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep being supportive! That's all you can do :) Do your best to spend quality time with the kids so he can see that you are quite devoted to them. If you're thinking about marriage with this man, that means you have to fully accept those children as your own and love them like your own! Otherwise, you'll have a lot of drama to deal with... no one likes the evil step mother. Good luck!
2007-06-25 21:50:01 · answer #4 · answered by Cochy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well i would tell him look I wouldnt be dating you or even go as far as i have in this relationship if i minded that you have children.... and you wouldnt take interest in them if you didnt like children....
2007-06-25 21:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by Renee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he get the kids often? Because if so, I'd make a point of trying to get to know them. Try to make friends with them--offer to buy them ice cream or take them somewhere fun.
It'll score points with the kids and your boyfriend and show him that you are fine with his past and present.
2007-06-25 21:47:32 · answer #6 · answered by [192882] 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
love the kids don't bad mouth ex.women cant handle all that so hes in doubt about you and so am i because women are so jealous
2007-06-25 21:49:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore his whining. It's pathetic. If it continues tell him you're not okay with the whining and you're gonna kick his xss if it continues.
2007-06-25 21:48:25 · answer #8 · answered by marie s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dunno what you can do further, but do search yourself about whether you are putting out those signals in otherways. My G/F has two kids from a previous marriage and they are the most georgeous girls about. I certainly wouldn't begrudge her about them
2007-06-25 21:50:58 · answer #9 · answered by Jesk 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm I think your having second thoughts about him and his two rugrats ! You should really be sure first !
2007-06-25 21:47:30 · answer #10 · answered by wishingstar5555 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋