if a guy can still love his wife after she turn really fat.. why can't they accept a fat woman before marriage

Question

i always believe in if u love someone u love her everything inclusive of her looks a size...

all my guys friends make fun of fat chicks.. nasty joke..hurt them yet still find it fun..
this really make me wonders why is it when man can still love his wife after she give birth and grow really fat..but why can't they accept a fat woman before marriage?

i got this fat lady friend of mine in trouble.. i really hope u can help as well..
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Atlt.0U73oQLx7455G3Jt97sy6IX?qid=20070625224422AAmDtbh
well.. a million thanks to all that help.

Answer 1

I believe that when we first start dating that we obviously must have some physical attraction in most cases. Over time that physical attraction grows into love for that person. Once you truly fall in love with the person for who they are and not the physical attraction then things change. Same as when we are first together we are very interested in the sexual part of a relationship and eventually that dies down (not completely I hope but it is not a priority as it was in the beginning) Same goes for outside appearances. However, there are many people who prefer a little extra to hold on to. Just because you have some extra weight does not mean that you can not find someone to love you that you can fall in love with as well. Same as some people are so hung up on the outside that they will leave if you gain weight. Actually that goes both ways. I have seen people leave someone that was heavy (which they preferred) because they lost the weight. It just depends on the couple and what means the most to them in the relationship.

to: Happy go lucky.....not everyone is heavy because they "let themselves go" many health factors can be involved. I would hate to tell my mother that she let herself go....she struggles with weight due to hormonal changes, as hysterectomy and thyroid cancer. Let's be honest.....a lot of people let themselves go but just as many have reasons beyond their control that contribute to their appearance, weight etc. Just for the record....I am 30yrs old and I weigh 125lbs at 5ft 5in. I wanted you to know that I am not an overweight person just being defensive. I am however realistic an rational.

Answer 2

Because by the time the woman grew fat after giving birth or even over time as their BF/GF relationship or marriage progress, the man has already had time to develop deep connection with the woman. So even if the woman loses her "superficial" beauty, their "love bond" is already strong to withstand this test. But even before a relationship happens, there must alreay be an initial and usually, superficial attraction between the man and the woman. And since a fat woman is rarely attractive to a guy, there is no chance to develop that important connection that will withstand the test of time and weight fluctuations.

Answer 3

I've always been a guy that believes marriage is for life. that being said. legally when you put that ring on her finger, everything changes. I've seen guys get divorced and have no money to live off of after the settlement. or barely get by. I know what i want when it comes to women and i also know fitness is a lifestyle. if its not important to her then it won't be 10 yrs down the road when her metabolism is really dragging. there are also different types of love and a commitment love is different than a lust for an attractive woman. marriage is stable (for most i hope) and it is easier to please 1 woman then the whole dating field. anyways good luck, and i hope i didnt offend anyone too bad. i know this is a touchy subject. Ben

Answer 4

Not all women grow really fat as you put it after having a baby, I guess they see what we go thru to have that baby that they then cut us some slack lol. I had my baby 4 months ago and I am back to my original size but still have flab as I had a c-section, my husband still has sex with me so it cant be all that bad. Marriage is for life I guess. All people are different inside and out.

Answer 5

Well we must first have a certain amount of chemistry, and really slender is much more apealing than fat. That goes for a woman loving a man too. I would much rather a thin man than a fat one, sorry this is being honest, and we dont have to be fat. People let themselves go.

Answer 6

Generally speaking it's because when you meet someone, as in before you start talking to them and get to know them to know that they are a good person, there is usually something about them that catches your eye. A spark between you, a mutual attraction. It may be shallow, but before you get to know someone, all that you have to go off is appearances, and unfortunately most people don't give someone that is not commercially attractive a second look, therefore never get to know how great of a person that they are!

Answer 7

hey mate they are too shallow I've dated large chicks before so it's all down to the individual. your guy friends may be missing out on some great chicks by just following the pack and going with the jokes

Answer 8

cuz they got past the looks and fell for the personality. After that, the looks don't matter anymore.
But there are still guys who still wants a slim, pretty wife even when they themselves are 40+ or 50. Shame...

Answer 9

huhu..its maby they are shame..thats why the guys choose the slim woman..if they take the fat or chubby gurl to be their gurlz maby people who knowing him will lough at him walking with a fat girl..but its diffrents if the gurl who thin before married and become fat after married..the guys dont care anymore..
they could say " ah..she already have a child..no need to be slim anymore.i still love her" ..this is just my opinion towards your question..

Answer 10

i dont want to justify it by any means because those guys are jerks no matter what but i guess its that you loved her before she grew and she grew over time, not right away. so you came accustom to it over a long period. but i will tell you fat girls know how to party. they just dont care and just have a good time lol