How can I stop being so afraid of death? I'm terrified!?

Question

I think maybe because I had to come to terms with my mortality at such a young age (I had a nearly fatal Asthma attack when I was 8, I was in ICU for 3 days) I think about this more than I should. Every time I think about dying, I get that cold feeling in the pit of my stomach and it spreads through my whole body. I cant shake it off. I'm absolutly terrified that I HAVE to die and there is nothing I can do about it. It has gotten worse the last couple of years. I got married, and he is a Marine. He served in Iraq and that intensified my worries. I'm so much more afraid now that I have someone who loves me, and who I love. I hate that someday I will be seperated from him, forever. I'm 21 years old, and I feel that I worry about this much more than I should. I think the word 'dread' best sums it up. Is there anything I can DO to help this? I'm not sure that I believe in heaven or hell, or even reincarnation (although that thought gives me the most comfort.) Can anyone help me?

I think one of the things that scares me most is all of the thing I am going to miss. No one knows for sure that there is consciousness after death, I like being me. I don't want to stop being me and I'm afraid that with death comes non-existance. And if there is a life after death, I'm afraid of missing all the people I leave behind. Also, please lay off the 'you're going to hell' stuff. That is in no way helpfull . I'd like other peoples views on the subject, not a lecture on why I should love God. Please respect my right to form my own opinions. I appreciate all of you who are trying to give genuine answers. I asked this question because I feel I needed help with understanding.

Answer 1

At one point in my life, I had the same fears as you did. however, as fate would have it, my fears were not to last. For the past 12 years I have been in and out of the hospital for various reasons, many of them near-death experiences. I am 18 years old and I have already seen and done more than almost anyone I know. I've nearly died at least half a dozen times. And each time I think that it's the end. But then last summer I was using a cheap inflatable raft to go rafting in Saint Augustine, Florida during a huge storm. The waves were at least a dozen feet high, sometimes closer to 2 dozen feet high. Yes, it was stupid, but I didn't care. But then my raft got caught in the tide and I was being pulled out to sea. I barely made it back to shore and I was within an inch of my life. While I was still in the water and thinking I was about to die, I realized that I wasn't afraid. It occurred to me that death isn't something to be afraid of. I realized that if I was about to die, then there was nothing I could do about it so there was no reason to panic (never worry about stuff that is unchangable since if something is unchangable, u can predict it's coming and therefore accept it as part of ur daily life). On the other hand, I knew that there was a possibility that I would survive being pulled out to sea, and if it were to happen, then so be it. There is still no need for fear. If i survived, then I survived and I would be greatful. If I didn't, well then I didn't. This realization came to me just as I completely out of energy and I couldn't hold myself above the water anymore. It was then that perhaps God intervined (though I'm not in any way religious). With the fear gone, a sudden burst of energy ran through me and I was finally able to break free of the tide and make it back to shore. I tell you this not to bring pity or awe, since there is no reason for pity or awe. I tell you this so you can know the one absolute fact: there are infinite roads in life, but they all lead to the same place which is death. We cannot stop death, we can only accept it. Only once you have accepted death can you stop being afraid of it. Perhaps after death there is a much better place than here. Or perhaps it is a worse place. Perhaps there is no place. But you cannot know what lies beyond nor can you control it. The uncontrollable shouldn't be worried about since it would do no good. It is only with the knowledge that death is uncontrollable that you can rid your fear of it and therefore control just a little piece of death.

Answer 2

First, off, it's normal to be afraid about death. So don't beat yourself over the head just because you are. First thing is to stop being afraid of being afraid. That's called anticipatory anxiety. There are lots of books on how to reduce anxiety in general and about anxiety over death. Check some out on amazon or the library or see a counselor. One thing you can think about that is if you had that asthma attack when you were 8 and you're 21, that was 13 years ago and you're doing ok. Try meditation, yoga, and other similar techniques. You can try counseling as well; some medication can help. Don't feel bad if you're anxious. There is nothing wrong with you. You are just a human being with feelings. Another thing to do is to look around at all the wonderful things in life. Even something like a flower. Chances are you and your loved one will have years and years together to appreciate the beauty on earth. And when you feel better, maybe you can think about how to make the world a place where people have less fear. Good luck. I will pray for you but I know you'll be just fine even without my prayers.

Answer 3

I'm the same way! But Heaven does exist but...Because, you don't really think some Author person wrote the Bible, do you? The Bible is the longest book EVER. God is real. Because, this Earth has GOT to have a Beginning. Without God, they're would be none of us. So that's proof. And don't worry about it, the Lord will take care of you. But I am so the same way! You never know when you're going to Die. That's why you should pray for the Lord to forgive you of you're sins and to help everyone else and Thank Him for dying on the cross for you, ect... But you have to truly mean it in you're Heart that you want to be forgive d! :D. Enjoy Life, love it, and NEVER say you hate you're parents or whatever because know what? You never know when THEY'RE going to Die either! And if they Die after you say you hate them, you will never forget it...Ever... Anyways, just live Life and for comfort pray EVERY night AND Morning and sleep with a Bible next to you :). Read a few chapters of the Bible everyday or night. So never give up on Loving the Lord! Live a Christian Life and don't let those Lies, Troubles, ect... Try to get you out of you're Christian Life! Try you're best to not Lie. Believe there's a Heaven, just continue loving the Lord and NEVER stop. EVER. Kay, so, don't be afraid!

Answer 4

Everyone is afraid of dying. The very thought of dying or death send shivers inside us. We become paranoid in a way that we are always careful in everything we do and even very attentive to our surrounding as to who are around us, and everything that seems to move back and forth passing us.

The best you can do is first to believe there is a GOD, that one supreme being who will take care of us when our time comes. Second, you have to accept the fact that no one live forever and that a person have to die one way or another. Third, enjoy being alive and the life you have right now. Spend your time doing what you wanted to do with your life and sharing it with your loved ones as those who are close to you also have their time. Stop worrying what will happen or what might happen, because there's nothing you can do but to worry all the time.

A quote for you -

He who drink get drunk
He who get drunk goes to sleep
He who goes to sleep does not sin
He who does not sin goes to heaven
So let us all drink and go to heaven

He who smoke will die
He who doesn't smoke also die
So let us all smoke and die

Answer 5

I think it's pretty common to have the fear you have. It can waste a lot time that would be better spent being spontaneous and enjoying each moment you do have. My husband is going through a potentially fatal illness and I know the fear can overtake you and you think of all things you'd miss with that person. I do pray a lot and read positive, faith encouraging books. Set up goals for yourself and see how far you can go achieving these goals without letting fear get in your way. Each time you achieve you will feel more success. Focus on your goals and not your fears.

Answer 6

Dieing is something you should never be afraid of as it is the natural conclusion to all life on earth whether humans or animals. Death doesn't have to be nasty or painful, people that live very healthily usually die peacefully in their sleep at old age.

You may find comfort and solace in religion, particularly Christianity which focuses a lot on death and life after death.

In many cases the biggest thing you fear is fear itself, the fear of death is what has you worried and you need to face it and come to turns that death is not something to be afraid of.

Nobody lives forever, once you accept that one inevitable truth then most of the fear attached to death is lost and can't hold you.

Answer 7

Every body will die someday. Though it's better to think of life. there are many good things to do in life than getting worry about that. Keep your mind busy with positive things.
I heard one time in the radio about a person having that fear. He wore a rubber band on the wrist. Every time he thought about death, he will stretch it and released it. It might hurt. That worked for him. I don't know what will work for you, but getting help from a specialist is a good idea.
I'm not afraid of death. I think that after death, there is no bills, no problems, no responsibilities, etc...BORING, right! The only thing left after death is resting/sleeping. There is no reason to be afraid of resting. So, give no focus to that. Instead, focus on life, hubby, family, and love. Pray to God that your hubby will come back safe. Believe it! Yes...you got to believe that he will come back to be with you; to love you. Spend time with family members, friends, at work, helping others, working out. this last one will take your frustrations away.
I don't believe in wars but all those people who are giving their life, body and soul for us need to be supported. So, he's going to need you. He's working for all of us so don't give him one more worry instead give him happiness. Sweetie work on this issue for him, your family, friends and specially for you. I hope I helped. Have a wonderful day!

Answer 8

Hey Come on. You have more luck than others to Live Long. Read youe story by yourself. You survived the worst. And what makes you to be worried.

As a small fact, death is just a journey to another location for the spirit. Its like you are taking a flight and reaching an unknown destination and start your another living there. Its all the same like here. READ BIBLE.

Answer 9

I would try, but I don't think I could help you unfortunately :(
Know that you are not alone in feeling this way, I am scared of dying/death too, but there's absolutely nothing that I or anyone else can do about it because as everyone knows, it's inevitable.
Most people won't admit to fearing death though, but I will.

Answer 10

I think you're reacting to your asthma attack, which must have been very frightening. Perhaps you need counselling to help you.
I would suggest that you start reading about people who made courageous decisions, knowing that it would cost them their life. Look at the old fashioned heroes. You're American? Your history must be full of heroes. Perhaps this way you can get some peace.
Good luck.